Feel so alone

[Afaaf]

My friends left me like nothing happened after knowing that am mentally ill dealing with anxiety and depression,they don't call often they don't visit back even my own family don't offer me support,I have become so desperate for people that I can't stand to be alone in the room,if someone doesn't talk to me I get so insecure and blame myself for being boring and not engaging enough,u guys am tired of my mind it is so tiring and painful to see myself at this vulnerable stage of my life

[rando1000]

Loneliness is a real pain in the butt, because it's so self-perpetuating. People without these types of issues tend to be pushed away by the very act of someone desperately trying to cling to them. It's a horrible fact of life.

I'm not a medical professional, but I might suggest that If you can find a group of people that's generally really caring and accepting, such as a support group whose principals will dictate not leaving others out to dry, that might help you start to gain some strength back. Additionally, giving your old friends a breather might make them realize what an interesting and good person you are, and they may be more receptive to you. I had several friends get fed up with me right out of college for much the same issue, and stepping away for a while and pacing my contact with them helped rebuild those bridges.

[Afaaf in reply to rando1000]

I know like I feeling they saw my desperation and are drifting away,when I choose to let them go ,there is this nagging thought telling me that I might end up alone and lonely cuz sadly they are the only friends I have,I don't k ow why I need people to validate me , am that insecure and I really want to change but it feels like am soo alone and it pains me,Is that weird to be understood?I don't know!

[rando1000 in reply to Afaaf]

well, the fact is almost everyone needs people. we're meant to be social creatures. So don't put yourself down because you don't want to be alone. I know it's hard. Stay as strong as you can, seek professional help when you feel you need it as you are able. There are more of us out there who have been in this position or currently are; that might also give you some comfort in the sense that many people have successfully fought the battle you're waging and continue to do so.

[Afaaf in reply to rando1000]

I really want to beat this illness and live life,any tips will be helpful

[gogogirl]

Friends are supposed to be there- although the fair weather type just are there for the "good" times.

[Afaaf in reply to gogogirl]

True and am learning that the hard way

[Hidden]

If your friends left you when you needed them the most, they did you a favor. Those are not true friends. People tend to not understand anxiety or depression unless they’ve been through it themselves, & also some people are only there for you during the good or easy times. That’s just life. I’m sorry you are feeling very vulnerable & insecure right now. We are all here to support you & listen to you when you need us. Keep posting here. It really does help you. Good luck on your journey! I am sure you will find friends that better understand your needs & you can be as open with them as possible! Good things like that take time & it’s a rarity to find! Love & hugs! ❤️

[Afaaf]

Thank u ,it really sucks not having friends around when u are at your lowest but definitely will keep fighting and am going to find better people who will be there for me ,thank u and sometimes I feel like my posts don't get noticed amidst all other posts and that sucks but your reply is well appreciated❤❤

[Hidden]

I wish I had the answer why friends and family tend to not associate themselves with you when you mention depression and anxiety. Some tend to distance themselves away from you. I think that people need to educate themselves on any medical conditions that a friend or family member is facing before they start to placing judgment. It always bothers me that people don't have sympathy and kindness in there heart to try and understand vs distancing themselves away from you. True friends are always there for you. Those friends and family members never had your best interest. I'm so sorry that you are struggling with this but I believe you are heading in a positive direction and this community is a great start as well as the recommendations from the support of this online community.

[Afaaf in reply to Hidden]

Thank u

[butterfly2121]

Dear Afaaf, I completely understand and feel the same way. The difference for me is I am finally realizing I pick the wrong friends. True friends lift each other up. I am struggling with being along very much. My husband and I moved to a new state 6 years ago. He knows I have social anxiety and promised he would help us both be more interactive with people. 6 years later nothing has changed. My old friends.....from before where I used to live.... I don't even recognize them anymore.Talking to them on the phone makes me more depressed so I avoid them because we are now from two different planets. I agree a support group with like minded people might be good. You might find someone you really mesh with. I keep meaning to give it a go. Or maybe I will check out some meetup groups. My thinking has changed though. I am careful with who I choose to let close. I used to walk into a room and wonder if everyone liked me. Now I try to walk into a room and determine if I like them. There are good and not so good people in the world. I only want to associate with the good ones.