I feel so alone

Right now I’m just at a tough place and I can see myself already spiraling. I’m freaking out and crying in the bathroom on campus alone with my dark thoughts. There’s no one I can really open up to or panic in front of. My sister just blankly stares at me without any words or action of comfort and it makes me feel stupid or unreasonable. My parents can’t stand the sight of me crying and just ask me how to solve it or tell them what to do. I hate that I’m like this. The only person I can run to is my worst enemy: me. The only thing I can offer myself is criticism and blame. Growing up I’ve always been told not to cry whether it be when being disciplined as a kid or out in public. I just want these tears to stop so I can get through my day.

[Hidden]

You wanna Talk ?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I’m feeling better now thanks you. I just cried till my eyes were done and splashed my face with cold water and got to work. I just hate how unhealthy this is but I’m happy that I can talk about it here

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I haven’t read all you wrote yet,

Can you tell me what is upsetting you the Most ??

Chris

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I’m listening to

My Sweet Lord,

by George Harrison

Can you play it on YouTube Music or maybe in the Internet ??

Chris

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the songs I’ll make sure to listen to them through the day. I’m feeling so much better now.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks,

When done work could you maybe write me ???

Chris

🐾

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Now listening to

Telephone Line

by Electric Light Orchestra

or ELO for short

Chris

Music is my Life

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Now is —

Don’t Bring Me Down

by ELO

forgive that I really Love Music !!

I’ll bet some people have —

“brought you down” too huh ??

me too,

Chris

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Who has brought me down ??

That would be everybody

C

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sorry for a few replies,

I’m a chatterbox sometimes,

especially when I’m bored,

I wish you would write

Chris

The little I read about you really got to me

😿

[Hidden]

Oh gosh. My heart goes out to you. I hear you saying that you are noticing feelings of isolation and loneliness, and that you're not loving your own company because you're noting that your mind is generating some self-critical thoughts. Are you familiar with any mindfulness techniques? When I get into a state like you're experiencing, I reach for the 5-minute meditation on this website: self-compassion.org/guided-...

I'd be happy to talk by phone or text for a short time if you want to connect. I can hold space for you to have your experience without trying to fix it for you or judging you for having the experience you're having.

Peace

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for “hearing” me out. I will definitely look at that link you sent me. I managed to cry my tears out, wash up and get to work. The therapist I’ve gone to gave me breathing exercises to do since I have a tendency to have panic attacks. Things have been piling up on me and I’m mostly and analytical person where I asses, reassess a problem then come up with multiple scenarios and solutions. But things catch up to you, y’know? I just don’t have anyone that I can fee free to vent that out to unless they feel like hearing me out. Again thank you so much

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I'm so happy you're experiencing some relief. Yay! One more thing you might want to check out is the Unwind app for managing anxiety. It was developed by Judson Brewer, a leading researcher on the neuroscience behind anxiety. Super helpful daily exercises. I've been using it a couple of weeks and it's like going to the "coping gym". I can feel myself getting stronger in my ability to prevent anxious thoughts and triggers from escalating the way they usually do. Best wishes to you for many moments of peace this week.

[Marysblue in reply to Hidden]

Im having a rough day too. I'm looking up both of those websites, Thanks.

[Marysblue in reply to Marysblue]

Unwind only for iPhone. I have android. Dang.

[Hidden in reply to Marysblue]

Sending wishes for many moments of peace. The self-compassion and self-forgiveness work has been so key for my recovery the past few years. I've done lots of CBT and it's helpful. But what I've been missing all these years of managing anxiety is cultivating an attitude of kindness and compassion towards myself. I realize now how important that is. And I've learned a lot by studying the Buddhist concept of the second arrow. The first arrow is the difficulty life sends us that causes us suffering. The second arrow is the judgment and criticism we send to ourselves - it is self-inflicted suffering. And many of us learned that in our families when we were kids. Letting go of that kind of reactivity and replacing it with a kind attitude towards myself is a major focus of my practice these days.

[Marysblue in reply to Hidden]

I haven't heard of second arrow. Self compassion is easier on days I feel ok, but really difficult on days I feel awful and need it most. I like the SC site and I will read up on 2nd arrow. Thanks.

[Hidden]

I blast it as Loud as I can —

(I’ve got neighbors)

Chris

Please write

[Vickyjean]

It will pass....take deep breaths and go ahead and cry, there is a healthy chemical we release from crying. You you go right and and get it out.

[Marysblue]

Glad you're feeling better, hang in there.

[Hidden]

I won't bug you again, if you don't wanna talk right now

[Hidden]

Now is --

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

by Cyndu Lauper

Thanks for the Like -

Catman22

👸

Ain't Fun,

Crying before work

Chris

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for the songs but I have to get to work sorry

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Work work work

🙀

[Hidden]

Goodbye to You

by Scandal

Tell him or her --

I'll help you say Goodbye

to him/her --

Chris

🖐

[Hidden]

You did some good,

I was kinda hyper and little anxious --

Your replies calmed me down some,

I know your working

I am too

Boss is bugging me

as usual

C

😎

[Hidden]

Hi -

How was work ??

I actually had fun at work today for once !!

Chris

👋

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

So you don't want to talk to me.

I'm not him

Chris

And we don't date on HU. This is for emotional health improvement.

I didn't like you ignoring me last night. I was looking forward to it.

I didn't deserve being "stood up"

That's how see it..

You will get Nowhere by hiding under your pillow...

I'll help still anyway if you want.

Catman22

😔

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to get to my phone last night was charging it for the rest of the evening. I’m sorry if it came off as me standing you up.

I just saw ur messages, I had an okay day all in all and I’m happy you had a good day at work for a change

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Keep your phone charged next time

I see why he left you

Bye

[SuZQ154]

Sorry you are going through this! Crying can be very healthy and indicates sadness. There are many situations which you mentioned which could make you sad. So happy you have been seeing a therapist.

I found Christian counseling to be very helpful. It gave me a safe place to cry, vent and get to the bottom of WHY I was feeling the way I was! My counselor gave me strategies to cope with my sadness. Journaling, praying, exercise, eating well, and surrounding myself with loving, trusting friends and family were all helpful to get me through tough times!! Please keep posting and know we understand!! Blessings!

[Shivedita]

Cry how much you want and then gather yourself up. We are there for you and you can share anything you want.

Loads of love!