Going to have to say goodbye

My psychologist suggested trying out this group while a little blinded to it. His online experience isnt vast, but my agoraphobia limits me to hospital based support groups.

I promised him I would try when my head went into that dark place to reach out. And I have. Most of the time I have found some help. I've come across some helpful people in similar situations whom I've been inspired by and will never forget.

But I'm finding im also encountering people who dont want help and when you offer advice they dont want to hear they angrily attack you. Or those who decide to take the opportunity to judge you based on limited information using psychiatric diagnoses and terminology without the knowledge or training to be able to do so and this has already set my RL therapy back immensely as I worry about these new diagnoses being thrown my way; am I seeing things my doctors have missed for years? But I'm not. Uneducated persons like to throw terms around because it seems appropriate at the time and they do not understand the impact it has on the individual, the progress they have made.

Additionally, I see an influx of new internet therapists, holistic healers, and other persons marketing mental health services using our stories and situations, using us as Guinea pigs as they try to peddle products and services and grow a career from the heartaches and depressions we suffer.

I no longer feel this is a proper forum to share pieces of my life and seek support safely, without fear of criticism, judgment, being used as a marketing statistic.

I appreciate all of you who have been so very helpful and will greatly miss reading of your progresses and success. You will always be in my heart.

[morenews]

It is very sad that you are leaving, but i understand that you have your reasons. It is very sad also to read about all those issues which you see here. I think it is important for all of us to read about it, so thank you for that. I feel if issues are listed in a open, it is easier to deal with them: I mean negative things you have mentioned about this forum. I have to think about it more, it was a great place for me, may be i am not right now so vulnerable as you are ...so i can filter the information here and pick and choose what to absorb and what just push away.

In any case : good luck and stay healthy!

[Hidden in reply to morenews]

Thank you. I will do my best which is all that we can hope for.

[b1b1b1]

Well, no one group can help everyone. Good Luck.

[hypercat54]

Oh that's a shame if you choose to leave. I looked back at all your previous posts and responses and only saw 1 reply which I can see you might be talking about. From what I read the responder was trying to help and wasn't in any way criticising you? They did apologise when you came back in clearly annoyed/upset about it. The thing is when you ask for advice you often get things you don't agree with and it's easy to misunderstand what is said too.

Remember no one has to reply to others and when we do it's because we care and are genuinely trying to help and this should be taken into account when reading replies.

It is firmly against the rules on here to allow spam or others using the site to advertise their services and these are taken off when they are reported so there is no way anyone on here can be exploited.

However leaving is clearly your decision and I wish you the best in your future. x

[rach1402 in reply to hypercat54]

Thankyou, you're absolutely right, I was trying to help and I feel awful for having made things worse. I have apologised to the person I know I offended but apparently she wasn't the only one as admin have informed me that she wasn't the only one who complained about me. I'm sorry to anybody I've offended, it was the opposite of what I was trying to achieve.

[Hidden in reply to rach1402]

You shouldn’t feel awful. Your message was really heartfelt & I thought you did well in your response. Some people are highly sensitive & triggered easily by certain words or terms. I was under the impression that he was playing games with her mind too, but that’s just me. Let’s just move on from this & wish this person the best off the site. <3

[rach1402 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, that's a positive way to look at it. I'll try not to go on girl power rants in the future!

[hypercat54 in reply to rach1402]

Hi Rach I didn't name you and never would but you are right. I saw in your reply only an honest desire to help, and you did come in and apologise when the poster was obviously upset. I thought your response was fine and you did nothing wrong so don't let one person taking you wrong put you off love. It's happened to me a few times so I know how you feel. Sometimes people say they are looking for advice but they aren't really - they are looking for people to agree with them or soft soapping.

I have always seen you are a lovely person, caring and thoughtful and I like reading what you have to say. Take care Rach and hugs for you. Bev xx

[rach1402 in reply to hypercat54]

Aww thankyou so much for your kind words, I've had so many supportive messages from lovely people. That's what it's all about. Maybe it's not that big a deal and I overreacted if it's happened to a lot of other people who meant well but were misunderstood. I feel a lot better now, thankyou x

[hypercat54 in reply to rach1402]

Good Rach. It is very easy to overeact when something like this happens though not saying you did. I have been there a few times and every so often I will put a post up saying no one wants me and I will leave etc. I always get so many lovely supportive replies that I end up feeling a lot better too and stay

We all suffer from some form of mental health disorder so I think we are more naturally sensitive and get upset more easily than 'normal' people.

I must admit that experience has taught me to be more circumspect in whom I reply to which is a shame but that's life I guess. xx

[rach1402 in reply to hypercat54]

Oh I did over react but as you say we've all got issues. At the time I just saw someone who needed help and thought that's what I was doing. It doesn't help that I've got ADHD, which makes me impulsive and overly empathic. Add to that my own experience with narcissistic abuse and I felt compelled to jump straight in there and say what I thought she needed to hear without thinking about the consequences. I'll have to chalk this up to experience I think and proceed with caution. Thanks for your encouraging messages x

[hypercat54 in reply to rach1402]

You honestly tried to help and in my view you made a lot of sense. It was the poster who over reacted and was ungracious enough to have a go at you. That's up to them though isn't it. They obviously require a different kind of help than can be provided on an online site. I hope they find it. x

[rach1402 in reply to hypercat54]

Me too but nevertheless I got a ticking off so I need to watch myself!

[hypercat54 in reply to rach1402]

That was their problem and not yours! x

[Hidden]

I didnt write this to have my posts investigated but on some I've looked back myself when I get emails that the person has replied again but theres no new reply, they are just editing the reply to something almost completely new. Other posts have upset me to the point where ive just gotten rid of them because seeing them was inducing too much anxiety. I didnt think I would need to leave them to justify my feelings.

[b1b1b1]

You don't have to justify your feelings. Again, if the site is producing more negative than positive feelings, you have made a correct decision to leave.

[gerg]

It is okay to leave a group. You don’t need to explain anything. I want to thank you for “checking out”, it is a very respectful thing to do.

Wishing you the best of what you need.

Greg

[Rpan]

Thanks for expressing your Experience. I agree with you boundaries are often crossed here. I’m glad that you have the insight to acknowledge this issue and are making a choice that is appropriate for you and your needs. Best wishes.