Goodbye : ... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Goodbye

Shaunahart
Shaunahart

Apparently I’m a risk to others so I’m just going to delete my account. Thanks to everyone who gave me advice and gave me support.Apparently all my post were bad that they deleted two of my three total post and edited my other one from a day ago and to be honest it just goes to show how no matter where I am or what app and support groups I’m in, I can’t truly express my opinions because it’s triggering to others. I completely understand why they did it because I know the way I think isn’t the greatest but it’s made me realize I can’t and shouldn’t truly express myself.im just unfixable and apparently that could be hurting others , so I took the lead liberty to take down my last post that was up but edited because it just doesn’t feel right. I felt silenced and now I’m just going to become silent. I didn’t mean to be a risk but maybe I should just keep everything to myself. I can’t tell my family or my friends nor can I tell a support group, so I guess there isn’t much left for me. But all is good for m not blaming HU I’m blaming myself for being me and being so stupid. And I honestly liked HU but I guess it wasn’t for me.

31 Replies
oldestnewest

Hey. I hope all is well.

I don't know what happened, but if you ever need to just talk to someone, don't hesitate to get back on this website. Don't delete your page just yet. Just let it sit.

I am willing to listen so if you ever need to talk to someone, I hope I can be an ear to help you feel better.

Shaunahart
Shaunahart in reply to RainneLim

If it seems plausible maybe I’ll wait it out but I just feel silenced and I’m silenced in my own life so I vented out on here but then again I was silenced on here so I don’t know if I feel safe and free enough to come back here. But thank you for the offer you are very kind.

RainneLim
RainneLim in reply to Shaunahart

Yes. I would wait it out.

Also, if you really need to talk but are a little worried about posting it more to everyone, go ahead and message me at the chat. I will follow you so you can find me easily in the future.

It really is scary to vent out. I am terrified everyday if I should tell people here and people at home. However, we each find our own outlet. And hope you can find a new friend here as an outlet.

Shaunahart
Shaunahart in reply to RainneLim

Thank you so much *sends virtual hugs*

hello shaunay....I've read all your posts, except I'm assuming the last one which was just deleted. It's pretty horrible and very sad when someone would think of themselves as you do. And your not hurting anyone here because your degrading yourself, but it is sad you feel you need to say those things about yourself...but talk of ending your life is a trigger for some, and that would be a reason for a post being removed, other than excess profanity or religious rhetoric.

So many people here on this site degrade themselves and talk about how worthless they are. And hopefully they will learn they are valued. Many have no one to help them see that they are not these horrible things, and we all want to help another suffering to find the person they are meant to be. But unless you want the help, no one can fix you....only you can do that, you have to make the choice to want to get better.

I assure you I didn’t use any profanity or religious rhetoric and I didn’t commit the whole post to ending my life. The post was more of me reaching an understanding but as it seems that understanding was wrong.

I don't know why they would delete your post shaunay....and I'm sorry that happened. You have every right to share what your going through....

Thank you. I am not mad though as I do understand that somethings that I have said probably could have been taken the wrong way. But as it seems maybe it is meant for me to just not express myself and I’ve realized I should just keep my thoughts inside. People say it’s not good to bottle up your emotions but that seems to be my only choice now. Thank you and please do not apologize for what you didn’t do. I blame this all on myself.

no....I don't agree with bottling up feelings....I think that's not healthy...

I don't know you or your story, but I hope you stay and are able to find some support here. Intensive therapy - maybe inpatient, might be a good next step if you are feeling hopeless. Can you write a list of things you are thankful for? Do you have any friends or family members you can reach out to?

Shaunahart
Shaunahart in reply to Tedddy

No i can not reach out to any friends or family and as for that list I am grateful for having a roof over my head and all the food and clothes I have. I know it’s quite basic but I’ve learned to appreciate the little things.

Tedddy
Tedddy in reply to Shaunahart

Appreciating the little things is great! I'm sorry you don't have much of a support system around you, but I hope you stick around here because you've got one here.

No one is unfixable shaunay. I can't understand why your posts were deleted or edited either unless they were triggering. Maybe professional help is needed rather the limited online help a peer group can offer. I wish you luck anyway. x

Ps is that the post Vesa was referring to? In which case the rules are the same here for everyone and a number have had their posts removed for the reason given. x

Yes but I don’t expect you to fully understand how it felt for my post to get taken down. I just felt silenced and it has made me realized that maybe I don’t deserve to express myself in anyway and I should just keep it bottled up but I’m not mad my life has always been filled with disappointment and this is nothing new to me.

You think I have never had a post taken down or edited? You must be joking! x

Sorry I didn’t mean it to sound like I was trying to be mean. But I’m just very sensitive to things like this even though I do understand it’s not that big of a deal , my mind won’t let me and I’m just spiraling into a deeper hole. But besides that I didn’t think many people or frequently that posts get edited or taken down. Hi ce only been here for 7 days

Triggering posts do get taken down when someone reports them or the admin notices them. This has happened a number of times on here and also those who break the rules have in the past been suspended or even banned. Why not read up on the rules so you are aware of them?

We are all sensitive to criticism not just you so please don't think of yourself as a special case. If I had £1 for every time I decided to stop answering newbies coz one has been abusive to me I would be rich. Like you said you haven't been here very long so don't know what happens. I have been here for a lot longer so do know.

Oh and I didn't think you sounded mean at all and got what you meant. x

Thanks for understanding and Why would anyone be abusive to you, you are just so nice.

Oh thank you that is so kind of you. We get the odd person on here who just doesn't want any advice but just wants soft soaping. I am not good at that! :) x

she is a good egg shaunay....and will tell you the straight up truth....sometimes we all need to hear what we don't particularly want to....but it may be what we need to hear.

I do think that because you are in crisis though that you should really look into getting professional help asap....this is a great forum, but you won't get the answers your looking for here as you would with a therapist who is trained to help you.

Hidden
Hidden

Hey there, I am sorry that you feel silenced on this website. I am also truly sorry that you feel really terrible about yourself. I read some of your posts & it hurts me that you’re going through all of this. A lot of us feel suicidal on a daily basis & the admins don’t want us to be triggered anymore than we already are. I hope you continue to come here & share your feelings with us. If you ever need to vent to someone, I am here as well. I am more than willing to talk with you, but I’m not a professional yet. I am just a normal girl who’s also known the darkness. Take care of yourself please. <3

Shaunahart
Shaunahart in reply to Hidden

Thank you and I’m not mad about it because I do understand the reasoning but this has just ignited a fight with myself in my mind and thank you for offering to listen to me. Through out my 7 days here you have been really helpful and supportive when replying to my previous posts.

*Hugs*

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Shaunahart

Oh, I completely understand what you mean. You deserve to feel comforted by your thoughts. That’s why if you ever need to reach out to me in private message, I would listen to whatever you have to say. I just don’t want you bottling it all up & hurting yourself. You can get through this. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Please keep fighting the good fight. Hugs back to you. <3

Shaunahart
Shaunahart in reply to Hidden

Thank you!!😀

Stay with us shaunay. You have already made friends on here :) x

I probably just won’t post and see how I feel about it in a week and then I’ll make my decision

that's your choice my friend...but honestly....you won't find better feedback in a group other than good therapy

Shaunay, you have so much support on here. Everyone seems to really like you and wants you to stay. Remember that the members on here didn’t remove your post and we are never going to give up on you. I understand when you’re trying in every way and that last straw makes you so angry and all you can think is “another thing I tried didn’t work so I give up.” Let that anger give you strength to fight. And let yourself see all the love and support on here. Lots of hugs to you 🤗

Thank you. You have said it better than any way I ever could’ve . *sends one million virtual hugs* 🤗

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