How?

[kissmypixel]

I am struggling the most with socializing. I feel like I don't know how to talk to people anymore. I get anxious about everything I say and a lot of the time, it is so bad I just don't talk at all. I am pushing everyone away because it's easier than trying to connect with them. I need to stop this, I need my friends in my life, but how do I pick up the pieces if I can't talk to them? How can I work through the anxiety to better myself in this area?

[fauxartist]

I hear ya.... social anxiety is more common than you would think, and if I may suggest.... getting to know people here where we are anonymous might be a good way to get used to talking to people and making some friends here and then after a while you will maybe feel more comfortable in the real world... these are very nice people here.

[kissmypixel in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you, it was my intention to hopefully reach out and connect with people that are more understanding of where I am at.

[fauxartist in reply to kissmypixel]

glad your here....and welcome to our cozy little corner of the universe.....

[kissmypixel in reply to fauxartist]

Thanks for the warm welcome!!

[Hidden]

I know what you mean. Do you have any close friends that you can talk to first?

[kissmypixel in reply to Hidden]

I have one, but her life is so busy that we barely get time to talk, which I understand entirely. Working 3 jobs is no easy feat

[Hidden in reply to kissmypixel]

yeah I see. At least you have this community. Perhaps you could befriend someone in this community that lives near you as a start

[kissmypixel in reply to Hidden]

I was hoping that I could do just that!

[writingforjoy]

Anxiety has a way of shutting us up and isolating us. I do know that therapy and even medication can help some people. For myself, I remind myself of truths. It does not matter what I think in my mind, but what is true.

For example, the truth is when I talk to my friends, there is value in what is on my heart. I do not sound stupid. They want to know what I have to say. Ect...

In my past, I would replay what I thought sounded dumb over and over. I would let it take way too much time in my mind.

Remind yourself that they care about you. I know this is easier said than done, it takes practice, a lot of practice. It takes being uncomfortable at times. But the reward of good solid relationships is so worth it!

Working on my overall anxiety has helped me. Relaxing exercises, praying and reading my bible encourage me as well.

I pray that you find the resources that will help you overcome. I pray you heart has peace.

Best wishes.

[kissmypixel in reply to writingforjoy]

Thank you for letting me know what helps you. I will be doing my best to keep my worth to my loved ones in mind. Unfortunately, therapy is difficult to come by in my city (I have been waiting for 2 years now) and medication makes things worse for me. I am trying to find ways to cope without having to drive hours away for therapy.

[writingforjoy in reply to kissmypixel]

I understand that! Medication did not help me and therapy is hard to get to as I can't drive these days.

You know I have found sometimes just being with my quiet friends is a comfort and a joy in itself. Just sitting and being together. There is no need for them to be anything other than what they are, so why do I make myself feel I am not enough. Just thoughts. I pray your day is blessed!

[kissmypixel in reply to writingforjoy]

I somehow attract all the loud, exciting, outgoing types of people, not sure why, I am so quiet. My fiance can be pretty great when I need quiet time though, but he's even loud and outgoing haha. We are on entirely different sides of the social spectrum

[writingforjoy in reply to kissmypixel]

LOL That is my husband and I as well. He keeps things lively I keep things calm lol

[kissmypixel]

🖤 thank you. It is comforting to know that I am not the only one struggling with this. Sending good vibes your way, as well

[Calm_mama]

Hello kissmypixel!

You might want to try these techniques! (by Dr. David Burns):

46. Smile and Hello Practice

If you are shy, you can smile and say hello to 10 strangers per day. Use a 3x5 card to record how many people respond positively, neutrally, or negatively.

47. David Letterman Technique

The idea is to focus on the other person in a friendly way. Get them to open up, rather than feeling like you have to impress them by talking about yourself. These are the same skills used by successful talk-show hosts like David Letterman. They appear charming and relaxed because they always keep the spotlight on the other person.

Kissmypixel If you are interested in recovering from anxiety in all its forms feel free to check out my profile where I have a list of the resources that have helped both me and my daughter recover (and so many people!) from anxiety - all the best!

[kissmypixel in reply to Calm_mama]

Thank you so much for the advice. I will absolutely try these techniques. I do find it easier to talk to others about themselves, but just can't seem to keep these conversations going. I am working on it though.

[Calm_mama in reply to kissmypixel]

That's fantastic! It takes a while, lots and lots of practice. Keep at it. Ignore any feelings of panic and anxiety. In fact, seek out the panic. Don't fear it! I was a bumbling, anxious mess for so long.. but it gets so much better with practice. You're on your way!

[kissmypixel in reply to Calm_mama]

I am ready to put in the work I need to. I have already come so far and this is a huge obstacle for me! I am working on bettering myself as a person inside and out, and being a quiet, cynical person is not what I what to be anymore!

[JenGo]

The best thing to do is be yourself. I know that sounds cliche, but it doesn’t matter because that is the best way to be. If you are afraid of coming across weird or what have you remember that it doesn’t even matter. The ones who get you will like you for you and the ones who don’t.... well you probably don’t need or want that in your ͏Li͏f͏e. I’ve taken my own advice and I’ve weeded out a lot of unwanted drama and now I have actual friends who respect and appreciate me. Be you and everything will fall into place. Don’t be afraid.