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Alone and struggling

jpsmith profile image
18 Replies

I am really struggling with being alone and not having anything to do. I struggle really bad with anxiety and depression and it gets worse every night. All I really have at night is to post here or journal about how I feel. I just wish I wasn’t so uncomfortable in my own skin. I talk to a counselor weekly but it doesn’t really help lately. I talk to my mom but she is getting kinda burned out talking to me so we only talk a couple times a week. She loves me but can’t really handle my depression anymore. It upsets her. She gets frustrated with me. I don’t really have many friends to reach out to and they mostly don’t understand. I don’t really have any hobbies and to be honest I don’t enjoy much of anything. In fact I’m miserable all day everyday. The only positive thing in my life lately is that I quit smoking but am now addicted to the nicotine gum and my pharmacy will only be giving me one more box for free. I don’t want to smoke again but it’s really hard quitting even with the gum. I really just need someone to talk to and appreciate any feedback. I just wish I was feeling better.

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jpsmith profile image
jpsmith
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18 Replies
bluejay789 profile image
bluejay789

Hello, it breaks my heart to hear this and I sincerely hope you get better. I recommend antidepressants, at least for a while, but of course ask a professional. I mostly suffer from anxiety, but I have heard that until you are in a better place, they help you get back up on your feet. Kind regards.

jpsmith profile image
jpsmith in reply to bluejay789

Thank you 😊

Look into mindfulness...also I've found if I accept my emotional issues as part of me and not some foreign entity I need to battle with it eases the inner conflict a bit.

jpsmith profile image
jpsmith in reply to

Thank you 😊

IheartDogs profile image
IheartDogs

It can be very tough, we understand you and what you're going through and it hurts badly. I have to say how amazing you are for quitting smoking. That says you want to take care of you and that's so important. Telling your therapist about how you feel about your treatment is so key. Please talk about it so you both can find a way for it to be helpful. Are you taking any medication? Do you work? I'd like to suggest that you get outside every day. Being in nature does so much for our mental health. Can you watch YouTube videos about how to manage depression, anxiety and its symptoms? I find they've helped me a lot. Meditation is very good. Do you read, too? I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

jpsmith profile image
jpsmith in reply to IheartDogs

Thank you 😊

rach1402 profile image
rach1402

It sounds to me like you're very focused on your issues and it's hard not to when it affects everything that you do. It's better than not addressing it at all but if you don't really do anything else then it might be difficult to get out of the rut you're in. You need to try finding something new that you enjoy, a new hobby, a new skill, perhaps learning a new language would be good for your confidence and open a new chapter in your life. Do you have any pets? My dogs are a great source of comfort to me when I'm going through a hard time. Walking them is good for your wellbeing and if you can't find the motivation for that, they're always up for a cuddle on the couch!

jpsmith profile image
jpsmith in reply to rach1402

Thank you 😊

rsherma profile image
rsherma

As someone else said, accept the feelings and run towards them, and not away from them. They’re uncomfortable, but embrace them and don’t analyze the feelings. Much easier said than done.

Mindfulness meditation apps like headspace will also help. 10 min a day makes a difference.

Positive affirmations are great, like, “even though I had this feeling or though, I love and accept myself.”

Anxiety Slayer podcast helped me some too.

Having a go-to morning routine will also help you attack the day vs. dreading it.

jpsmith profile image
jpsmith in reply to rsherma

Thank you 😊

kenster1 profile image
kenster1

quitting smoking is probably the hardest addiction to overcome that is a great achievement and you should be proud of yourself.family always find it harder to understand depression than friends do that was the case with me anyway.getting motivated while depressed is hard but just think of the motivation you put into quitting smoking and hopefully that will help you.i volunteered to help me and ive never looked back and even made new friends in the process.the good thing is you admit to your problems so that's a good first step to recovering.

jpsmith profile image
jpsmith in reply to kenster1

Thank you 😊

Sprinkle1 profile image
Sprinkle1

Quit smoking - you get a gold star, I know that is a hard addiction to give up, be So Proud of Yourself, you will be able to give up the gum too. Talk with your therapist about how you feel, you may have to find a new one. I would also talk to your Dr. you sound like you could use some med's. Look for a Support Group in your area, they are wonderful, and usually free. I am full of anxiety and it is very hard to deal with, I have to work at it every day, all day, I take med's and see a psychiatrist. I also cannot watch TV, read my books, cook, drive my beloved car. I try word search and can do that some days, I do adult coloring books, they are great. I plan on doing volunteer work once I am well again. I know it is hard, but You can do it. Talk to us here, we will listen and try to be of help, we care. I send you Love, Strength and courage, Sprinkle 1...... xx

jpsmith profile image
jpsmith in reply to Sprinkle1

Thank you 😊

Phillyman profile image
Phillyman

Yeah I have the twin Natlie makers anxiety and depression myself. If you have any friends that you can talk to that’s always helpful. Believe it or not their feelings actually end. I know they come back but they do and good luck and take it easy

Sunny2019 profile image
Sunny2019

Sounds like i wrote this post in some aspects.

NONOTNO profile image
NONOTNO

*trigger warning: hopelessness ahead:

Oh man I can so relate.

I had a ton of friends but they’ve all left me. Even my family ran off. They all burn out. I understand how it happens, but I think it’s inhuman. And they tell themselves these bizarre, convoluted stories about how it’s not their fault, like you i don’t want to get better which all of us here know is as far from true as from here to Mars.

I went from being secure and confident in a community of friends, going out, throwing parties, with a bunch of cousins and aunts I “knew” I could rely on to totally alone.

My self esteem, all my pride ran off too. I have always been gutsy, feisty, tough. I always got through my depressive episodes.

I have SO many creative things I do well enough to have had small groups of followers here and there. They are things which made me very happy.

They also have always been essential to my stability.

But now I can’t bring myself to do anything at all. Going from one room to another is a challenge.

I’ve had tons of therapy and I’m on meds but suddenly find myself in my “Golden Years” which turned out to be tin.

Icanmakeit profile image
Icanmakeit

Please do not feel alone we all have struggles. Covid has taken loneliness to a whole new level. I live alone and it is hard to find people who truly understand unless they have been thru it. Congrats on quitting smoking. That is amazing. Please take care and never give up. I have anxiety and we have to keep fighting.

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