Strong anxiety and fear of dying - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

59,618 members59,881 posts

Strong anxiety and fear of dying

Lizz_alva profile image

Hi everyone. Im not sure who will read this, but for many years I have been struggling with the fact that my existence wont be present in the world eventually. Im scared of dying. I fear the feeling of nothingness and the notion that my life has no purpose since death awaits at the end of everything. I want to live forever, but that it impossible. I need help coming to grips with this and accepting this fate. But it is hard for me to do that. I really do need help because this is affecting my daily life and it has made me isolated and worried for my own self because I dont know where these thoughts can lead to.

22 Replies

Hi I don't think there is a person alive who doesn't think like this sometimes and is very aware that death always comes eventually. The thing is though you are ruining what life you do have with these thoughts which kind of defeats the object. If you spend a life just waiting to die you forget to live your life at all.

Maybe you should seek some counselling to enable you to come to terms with it? x

Lizz_alva profile image
Lizz_alva in reply to hypercat54

Great way to look at things. I agree with living life and focusing on living instead of dying. Its just hard to come to grips. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and advice.

I’m sorry that you are having such a hard time. My little sister struggles with the same fears.

Where do you think this anxiety comes from? Are there certain things that make it worse? Are there any things that hold these feelings at bay or give you hope for the future?

I ask because the answers to those questions have helped my sister. She knows that drinking makes her fear of death worse for her. She thinks that certain family situations are the root cause. She knows that making positive plans & goals for her future- such as saving up to buy a car- help her to feel hopeful for her future and more present in her life Now.

I hope some of this helps you. I can’t relate personally, but it breaks my heart to see my sister struggle and I’m deeply sorry you’re struggling with it too. ♥️

Its something thats tough to go through. Thank you for your advice and I wish for your sister to continue persevering. We will all get through this.

Don’t know if this’ll help, but quantum physics has already established the existence of a “soul” (though they don’t call it that.) I used to be involved in the subject when I was younger, and I still read the forums.

It’s not talked about much—the findings are basically ignored), but there ARE physicists who have proven it with evidence that would stand up in a court of law, with honest astrophysicistsas the jury.

Lizz_alva profile image
Lizz_alva in reply to Lakewolf

Its great to know this! Thank you for sharing this with me <3

Hi Lizz, guess we are all in the same boat. Yet a vast majority of people go about their lives mostly enjoying themselves. How they achieve that state is beyond me, I personally had to resort to medication after struggling for many years. Please talk to your GP about this asap. If they don't listen find another one. I regret now that I hesitated for so long. Once the basics are addressed you will be able to discuss your thoughts with a therapist, without discomfort or distress.

Thank you for the advice!

I understand how your thinking has you upset, I am 76 and facing death in the not to distant future, it is not death I fear, just the fear of suffering, I want to go quickly. I also must get my act together, get my will made and funeral arrangements, secure care for my 2 beloved cats, then I would hope to lay down and die peacefully in my sleep. I have had a hard life, but I have had a lot of fun and enjoyed myself. I found therapy helped me thru the rough spots as it is now, I am eaten up with anxiety due to being over medicated by an idiot earlier this year. I suggest you talk with your MD and find a qualified therapist to help you, you deserve to enjoy your life. I send you Strength, love and hugs. Sprinkle 1.... xx oo

Lizz_alva profile image
Lizz_alva in reply to Sprinkle1

I appreciate you sharing your point of view. Thank you for your advice

Hidden profile image

Hi, I guess your belief system is different than mine, I take comfort in my faith that says we do live forever. My fear is of others dying like my parents, and that is because I don’t think I can handle life without them. So, I am learning to challenge myself each day to be more courageous. I started exercising, this past week and it is already making a difference. I pray, I talk to friends about my fears and we talk a lot about the afterlife. I watch YouTube videos of near death experiences and those help me a lot. I wish you peace.

Lizz_alva profile image
Lizz_alva in reply to Hidden

Im trying to get myself to change or at least accept other belief systems like religion and the afterlife. Thank you for sharing.

Hi I think as we age we come to accept the idea of death a lot more and I think this is biological and built in to us. That's if we have led as full a life as we can and done what we wanted to. If you haven't then I think you might fear death more. The best thing to do is to concentrate on the present and try to live in it. Have a look at mindfulness as this will teach you to do that. When you get old you get a lot more tired both physically and mentally and sometimes the idea of death can be sweet.

The past is gone and can't be changed only learnt from. The future is unknown so only the present is here now. I decided to live in the present only when faced with the death of loved ones family and friends as that is all we have anyway and it's useless to worry about the future, and this often takes care of itself anyway. x

Lizz_alva profile image
Lizz_alva in reply to hypercat54

I understand the idea of death being a sort of "relief" for some people that have had a fulfilled life. But how does one get over the fear of the feeling of death? The total nothingness that death really is? Its a scary thought to think that we will only like about 90 years out thr billions of years that earth has existed

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to Lizz_alva

No not a relief Lizz but an acceptance of the way things are. When you get really old you also get very tired and often too tired to want to go on and you just want to rest. I saw this in both my parents who reached 89 and 90.

Whilst it's a weird feeling of being here so fleetingly and so small and unimportant, it's also quite comforting too as the things that seem so important in our lives aren't really. This is why millions believe in an after life and reincarnation. Maybe having faith is the answer for you? It's not for me and many but for some I guess it's a great comfort. x

Hidden profile image
Hidden in reply to hypercat54

Hey there beautiful~ How are you doing? Love & hugs!!!

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to Hidden

Ha ha, beautiful - love it. Just crawled out of bed and look like a scabby cat :D

How the devil are you my friend? x

Hidden profile image
Hidden in reply to hypercat54

Beauty my friend is in the eye of the beholder! you should see me now, hahaha!! I could care less, that's not what matters pal! Although thanks for the chuckle! I'm in a good place, making myself. training the old brain, hahahaha!!! Love & Hugs!!!

For me it was my mom getting cancer , tv shows , seeing sick people , hospitals , it made me fear doctors , listening to stories , you know where parents always warn you not to do stuff like eat from the ground or domt eat your nails or something , and they till u it will cause this and that etc..for me this perhaps what triggered these thoughts, i came to term though because everyone is afraid of dying but what can u do , stress wont affect anything , and u have this life that is a blessing , no one knows what happens after and if you search u wont find an answer likely

You should be dying to live , not living to die, i know its hard to accept it , but we will all die, and we dont know when or where , atleast most of us dont , and its scary, but to me i realized that im wasting everything just because im worried about something i dont know anything about , and at the end i cant escape it or prevent it , so why fear it , it will be hard as i said we all fear death , but just accept that your life will mean something its never useless or pointless , wheather u live a decade or 10 decades

Hey Lizz, I Hope you’re doing better. I want to share my story with you. 2 years ago, at age 62, I became very ill. I spent 4 months vomiting all day, every day. I did not think I would survive. There came a point in time that I came to terms with my death. I worried about my cat & my grandson (that lives with me), but felt very peaceful about dying. There was no fear, or anxiety about it, just acceptance. Obviously, I recovered. I told my best friend how I felt at the time. She said that made her feel a little less anxious about the finality of death. My attitude is slightly different since then. I don’t put up with as much crap, but am also more patient. I consider every day that I wake up & don’t vomit a bonus ! I hope to live a long life, but really want a happy life. I’m still working on that one!

What you describe is me-to a “T.” I have been obsessing over death for as long as I can remember. The age of 7, specifically, and I am now 36. I have had two pulmonary embolisms and almost died. I want that comfort of having faith in life after death but I do think that humans can’t fathom the finality of death and believe just to comfort themselves. My logical mind and training in biology and chemistry just won’t allow me to surrender to the thought of an afterlife where I will see my loved ones and be “conscious” in that. I obsess constantly and no amount of anyone telling me that I have to live will stop it. I have recently found a therapist that is starting to help but after almost 30 years of being this way, I think it’s going to take awhile. Your post makes me feel like I am not alone.

You may also like...