Fear of Cancer Recurrence

[OCDneedshelp]

Hello,

I am currently suffer from extreme health anxiety over the fear that my skin cancer will reoccur. I have had three small spots of skin cancer removed in the last year and at 45 I’m terrified that I won’t live much longer. None of them have been melanoma, so that is a little good news. And my surgeon has said that my cancer was low risk and has a 95+ success rate (well he said 99%). But I just can’t stop obsessing about that 1% or that my worry will make it easier for the cancer to return. I am taking care of my skin with sunscreen, hats, etc. I’m even using some low grade chemo cream that should burn away any precancerous spots, but I still dwell upon my fears for literally hours a day.

I am seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist (I’m in the US), plus taking several different meds, but nothing is reallly helping. Some days are better than others but it is so emotionally dragging and I need to come up with some sort of plan to try and help me combat these fears and thoughts.

I have two teenagers and I want to see them grow up and I want to enjoy a decent life, but my anxiety isn’t letting me right now.

I know that nothing can change the past but of course I also berate myself for not being more diligent in the past.

Im going on 6 months like this and I can’t stand the idea of living like this for the rest of my life

No I’m not going to hurt myself but I just need to find something to be hopeful about. It doesn’t help that I have an extremely low view of myself and generally a negative outlook. I realize both of those are not helpful in my situation. .

[LoveforAll41]

OCDneedshelp, I am so sorry that you are struggling with this anxiety and fear. It is so so so so draining. I think that this anxiety shows that you value life and a lot of good things about you. There is a podcast by David Burns, the Feeling Good podcast, and he recently did some work with a therapist who has or had terminal cancer. I gotta run but I will post the links in a while. It is okay to be scared or anxious, I hope you feel that way. ❤️☮️

[OCDneedshelp]

Hi Robin, yes I have a therapist who specializes in OCD but I’m not making much head way in treating my anxiety about all this. I am so sick of it.

[LoveforAll41]

Here is the podcast. This is the first of three parts. I though it pretty good and suggest it as I have not had experience with cancer. feelinggood.com/2017/08/07/...

[LuvSun]

As an OCD sufferer and a skin cancer patient I think I can tell you that you are not going to die from your benign skin cancers. Your Dermatologist has reassured you already. I myself have had many, many basal and squamous skin cancers removed. My understanding is that as long as they are not the more serious melanoma and you go for regular skin checks and get certain cancers removed you will be ok. It’s good that you are taking the necessary precautions in the sun but I hate to see you suffer so much with this anxiety. It seems to me that the OCD is what is making you worry so much.

[OCDneedshelp in reply to LuvSun]

Yes I know it is my OCD that is making me worry. The skin cancer should be manageable but it is the whole uncertainty of the situation that is so hard for me to handle.

[catsrock]

I so get this as skin cancer runs in my family and I was really bad about sunscreen when I was younger until I knew better. I think it's great that you are being so diligent and that the doctor is positive about how well you're doing and that your risk is low. I don't really have advice, but just wanted you to know that I understand and I hope your anxiety lessens soon.