Intrusive Anxiety and fear

[Giraffe2]

This is my first post here and I’m a little nervous...

I have been dealing with very intrusive anxiety around my kids and their well being. Specifically, I am terrified (almost convinced) that an active shooter is going to go to my sons school and he will die. My son is five. Even just typing that I realize how crazy it sounds. But I cannot help it. Last year I did go speak to someone about it. It did help a little. But then, when I would use the strategies she taught me to navigate these feelings, and they worked (I was able to stop these thoughts before they were so consuming), I found myself feeling guilty that I wasn’t worrying about my kids, and then therefore thought something bad would happen as a result of that. Almost like “you’re assuming everything is/will be fine, so that means something bad will happen.” I mentioned this to her once and she said “it’s almost like you think the Universe will punish you for being happy.” And I thought that was accurate. I’m very happy and have a great life. Tragic, horrible things happen to people all of the time. I guess I feel like I’m always waiting for “that really bad thing” to happen (a school shooting, fatal car crash, cancer, etc). I do find that if often prevents me from fully enjoying moments, because I’m more focused on the constant feeling of impending doom. I honestly just don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any experience with this? Or suggestions? Thank you.

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Hi Giraffe2.

I’m so sorry for your struggles.most certainly sounds like anxiety and catastrophising around your worse fears...therapists will understand it, and I think you mentioned there was some improvement when you did seek help with your symptoms and spoke with a therapist....it doesn’t sound crazy at all and neither would a medical professional think it sounds crazy..I certainly have struggled with my anxiety and thought of worse case scenarios happening to loved ones especially when they travel....it is awful...I practise mindfulness and meditation and it helps, I have had therapy too....we are all very individual in our struggles with anxiety and also in what works for us...I would seek a therapist to help, and advise...and I always think knowledge is power, so I learn all I can about it all...

I was diagnosed with social anxiety, I had no idea, when I read about it, yes I could see that I do have that...I never used to struggle with it as much but a melt down a few years ago left me with severe anxiety..

I wanted to welcome you here to let you know you are not alone with how you feel, for sure..and to say I hope it helps to write it down, I know that helps me a lot to, I also learnt a lot being around here and reading posts, it’s surprising what you pick up that helps better manage these feelings...can be trial and error at times , because what works for one may not necessarily work for another, but we find ways of managing things that suits us ..

Hope others come along and give you their take on it too...

Best wishes 🌺🌺 x

[Giraffe2]

Thank you! That was very helpful. I appreciate your advice. Sometimes it really helps to hear from other people who have gone through this.

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I worry everyday about my family. I've been upstairs in my room and come downstairs for the sole purpose of checking on my mom or dad if I've not heard them for a while. I really relate to your feeling.

[Rachel2535]

I lived like this for a long time. I get it. You feel like because you are happy something bad has to happen. A lot of why I felt like this was because I had a lot of abuse as a child....this warped my brain into thinking I was not worth anything. It took a lot of studying and talking with God for me to get to the point where I now believe I am worth it. Overcoming the thoughts is hard sometimes but I had to realize I have no control, non. God does though and I have to trust. Yes something may happen but if I worry about tomorrow, I will miss the beauty and love that I have right now. So I am learning that focusing on now is a must, today has it’s own problems so adding on tomorrow worries are worthless. (Paraphrased the Bible there - Matthew 6:25-34). This seems to help me work through the anxiety. I am praying this will help you also. -Rachel

[Giraffe2]

I am so sorry to hear about the abuse in your past. I am happy to hear you’ve gotten to a place where you know you are worth happiness and other great things. Your words were very helpful. Thank you

[Kevin160]

Hey, look as someone who suffered some of those bad things trust me , worrying doesnt change how the seriesof events will turn out , i believe that whatever happens happns for a reason , for me the bad things were , my parents divorce and terrible fights and violence between my siblings and them and eachother , my moms cancer diagnosis and 4 other cancer scares , my aunts cancer diagnosis and her chemo journey and seeiing how terrible it all went , my grandma died of lymphoma after 8 years battle , i went through 6 car crashes last year , i felt at some point something bad will always happen , not gonna lie its normal to think that but it shouldnt control how u live because keep in mind , what will happen will happen regardless of what u do, for example

My mom got cancer , it was terrible but the friends she met at the cancer centr are now life long friends and they helped us many times when she needed money or needed help for something ...

My parents got divorced it was terrible but now we live better than before , we all get along because the source of the problem which is the constant stress of fights is gone or lessened i guess , now each person can focus on their life , and my mom doesnt have depression like she used to , her health is much better , so one way or another something will lead to anither and as bad as it sounds u cant do anything , if it is meant to be it will happen , but now that the universe wont punish you for being happy , sometimes i think of it like a test of strength , if you can survive this u can survive anything , know that its fine to talk abiut this and its fine to be happy , u didnt do anything wrong , life is short so live it the best way possible , but still take within reasons , if you are afraid of getting a car crash dont stop driving , just put a seatbelt and drive slowly , you see what i mean , if you are worried about your son and shooters, then put him i a safer school and talk about safe systems and talk to the school about it or join a PArent teachers stuff , talk to me if you need more help