Saying goodbye

[BrownEyesBlue]

I’ve been really struggling lately. My depression and anxiety are at an all time high. Yesterday in particular was very very hard. My sister, her three children and her sons girlfriend woke me with text messages. These were not nice messages. They were bullying and then trying to intimidate me. As I’ve explained in past posts, I have to work with her sons gf and we’ve had a falling out.

She worked home care for my father and simply was not doing a good job. I’m usually quiet and I’ll admit, can be quite the pushover. I finally had enough and told her about all the time she was taking off. She involved my family members (sister; nephew; nieces). It had nothing to do with family; nothing personal at all but they all turned it into that.

Now, we have to work together. The place where we are working sent out an email about not taking days off without a valid reason. They assumed I was the reason for the email.

I didn’t do anything wrong to this woman. Messages and phone calls started at 8:43am and didn’t stop until 6:15 pm. 9 hours they harassed me and I cried all day yesterday. I even got to the point where I wanted to die and I was going to hurt myself. And yes, I blocked them. But they all came at me. So hateful and cruel. It had nothing to do with my family. I’m so hurt but I’ve blocked them all and decided I do not want any more contact or association with them.

They threatened my Dads home care; belittled and berated me for no good reason. But I was the one that was suppose to apologize. My dads other worker was here during all this and saw how upset I was and I told her what was being said. They were putting her down and threatening her job too. Then when she told them about it and her mother defended her, my sister and her children jumped back at me blaming me. And telling me how badly that I had hurt them.

I got deleted from their social media pages; it was pointless trying to talk to them. It all got blown out of proportion. It wasn’t even about them. It was about this woman, this stranger that has caused nothing but drama since she’s entered our town.

I’ve chosen not to have anything to do with them. I’m deeply hurt. They have no regard for anyone else’s mental health. It’s quite obvious they don’t care. Quite evident they hate me and blame me for everything; I don’t feel I did anything wrong.

My one mistake was responding and engaging with them. I’ll admit that. They feel so righteous and entitled. And treated me like pure dirt.

I just can’t have that in my life.

Any advice on how to let go and just say goodbye? I know I have too. It’s not an easy decision. But for my mental health and for sanity I cannot be around these people who are so cruel and hurtful.

[Dkdfree]

You gotta do you. Take care of you,releasing all the toxicity from your life. So you can muve forward in a more positive way.

[fauxartist]

You did the right thing by deleting and isolating from the bullying. I am so sorry you're going through this, and it's especially painful if it's family doing this. Just because they are family does not mean they have the right to interfere with your personal life. It's especially hurtful when their disloyalty is so hateful. It's okay to put anyone, whether they are family or stranger, at arms length for emotional and physical well-being. You're finding your voice and self-respect and some don't like that, tough cookies...you keep standing up for yourself and eventually some will respect you, and the ones that don't...well....consider the source. You may not want them as friends anyway.

[Midori]

Personally, I would threaten to sue them all, and then block their numbers. Contact the police and put it them as harrassment, as that is what it is.

You have the absolute right not to live in fear.

Cheers, Midori

[MyRaquet]

If I'm reading this correctly, you were and are concerned about your father's care. When the gf takes off, that takes away from his and others care. That is unacceptable. Think about how you'd feel if you didn't speak up. You would be feeling guilty that you didn't do enough for your dad. He and the other patients should be the main focus here, and if the gf doesn't understand this she should be in another profession. Maybe the next step is a confidential email with details including dates and reasons for the gf taking off, sent to the owners/supervisors if nothing changes. You are in the right here and don't let them think otherwise!

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to MyRaquet]

Thank you.

[KJnOTT]

You are making the right decision. We can only be responsible for our own actions and setting boundaries on what we will let others do to us. It is completely un acceptable of them to treat you that way. Nothing is worth the stress and emotional anguish. Its important to recognize and remove yourself from the environment. You may want to consider meeting with a counselor to help you work through the emotions that have contributed to feelings of depression. Life is short - be well.

[Dkdfree]

Do not ever feel bad for removing toxic relationships. Family or not. The universe has a way of showing you the path to peace. Karma will get them.🧚‍♀️