I am so tired of people trying to relate to my social anxiety!!!!!!!!

[DemureRose]

I told my friend a couple weeks ago that I have social anxiety and as soon as I told her she was like “omg I have it too!” I wanted so bad to just ask her blunt questions about it. Oh so you have moments where you can’t breathe at just the thought of having to go out in public? You cold sweat before ordering a meal and rehearse that order tenth times? So you throw up almost every morning because the idea of being around people is physically sickening? Yeah I’m sure honey. I’m sure that you’re anxiety is so crippling that you have on a whim shopping dates with friends. Sorry but that does not match anxiety! And honesty even if she did it was my moment! My extremely vulnerable moment that I told her in confidence just for her to relate! And then I tell her “just go on my Pinterest it will explain everything about me.” (Because I have an anxiety board for my friends to look at so they have a general idea of what’s in my head) well just now I get on my Pinterest to find she’s created a board called “Me!” that’s all of MY anxiety posts!!!! I really just want to scream! I mean honey I know you better than anyone! I know you hate being alone! You love going out with friends! Just...no! I mean this is a seriously debilitating mental illness that isn’t a joke and isn’t a trend. You don’t relate to it!

[CupOfTee]

I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. I've been there. In my case it's more with the depression though. Like, anybody who's ever felt sad is now like, "oh yes, I have depression"... Ugh.

Anyway though, this is just one of those things that you have to try and be understanding of. The simple fact of the matter is that most, if not all, people have experienced some form of anxiety or depression, that's just part of life, right? So people, who are otherwise healthy, see things that relate to how they felt that one time and think that it means they have whatever mental illness it pertains to.

I get it, it's annoying as hell. But I think, for the most part anyway, they aren't trying to be insensitive or full of it, they just don't understand how bad the reality of these illnesses are.

My honest advice here is to try and stow your anger on the subject long enough to explain to her how you feel. More specifically, how her actions are making you feel. If she's actually your friend, she'll listen and adjust accordingly.

If not well, you can cross that bridge if, and when, you come to it.

Anyway, I hope you feel better❤

[DemureRose in reply to CupOfTee]

I do see your point. I should try and see it as a positive thing, that she’s trying to relate. It’s just really hard when you know they aren’t getting it. I want to explain the magnitude of the illnesses but she’s 17...serious conversations are not often a teenagers thing. Like my friends always refer to the bipolar disorder as what it isn’t but when I correct them I sound like a know it all. Oh the curses of mental disorders lol.

[CupOfTee in reply to DemureRose]

Haha yeah, unfortunately mental illness is the kind of thing that you don't really understand until you've had it. Not that there aren't people who are great at empathizing, some really are, but it's a whole different thing when you have to go through it yourself.

Sometimes we just have to be patient with the people who don't get it. And sometimes they have to be patient with us. It's a learning process for everyone really.

And like you said, she's seventeen... Most 17 year olds are way too hopped up on the own hormones to really empathize with anything more complicated than a hangover😂😂

Give it some time and try to explain yourself clearly. She may come to understand in time.

But side note: never be concerned about sounding like a know it all. 'Know it all" is just a really poorly chosen insult that people use when someone is smarter than them and they don't like it😂

I fu***** strive to know it all. Lol

[DemureRose in reply to CupOfTee]

Oh my gosh I love that! I will totally embrace my “know it all” self! I mean at least I can count on my intelligence!

Patience really is something I need to work on, especially when it comes to my anxiety. Hopefully I’ll get that peace of mind soon. Thanks for understanding my dilemma and offering actually beneficial advice!

[CupOfTee in reply to DemureRose]

Haha you're so welcome❤

Literally, anytime.

Thanks for letting me play "know it all" for a minute😂

[dore13]

But are you trying to deal with it? Or are you embracing it as debilitating to suit your needs right now? You seem really angry that your friends can't relate, well, how can they? They don't have it. I use DBT therapy, and use "opposite action" a lot. Because I don't want to live like this, I don't be debilitated so I embrace the fear, and face it. I would consider yourself lucky, because there are people here who have no friends, they tend to disappear quietly, then you have no where to go, with no one.