Don't you just hate when people don't believe you?

[Midnightwolf1]

So someday last week I tried to talk to my father cause he's really the only one who I trust in my family. Well I thought I could talk to him anyways, but it turns out he is like everyone else. He thinks it's just a phase and that I'm just trying to control all of my emotions. At least that's what I intrepid. He doesn't believe I struggle day by day and have depression, anxiety and a paranoia of someone always watching me. That there is some day's that I can't deal and I think about ending it or that cutting is a way out for me, a release I shouldn't have, shouldn't do. That I feel so alone every once in a while or that I think so lowly of myself. That I talk to myself in the mirror shaming myself for getting teary-eyed or cutting or feeling to skinny or fat or doing something stupid. How come he can't believe me cause I'm a teenager? I would love to go get professional help but I can't cause if I get labeled at a depressed teen my military career is over. I mean if I am doing something I love, I am fine. If I just sit there everything hits me and I stay in depression. If I could only talk to my dad I would feel better but he doesn't believe me and I don't know what's going to happen when he signs into the military again. Its either he gets deployed or he gets stationed here. If he gets deployed, I honestly think my depression and anxiety will skyrocket. It will be because he is deployed and he is not here with me helping me get through my depression cause I usually tell him almost everything. Just once why can't he believe me? Why can't just one person I meet believe me? I had a doctor tell me all my stomach pain and knee pain was in my head. That I cause them for attention. I mean if I wanted attention wouldn't I be trying to tell anyone that will listen that I have cut myself once and I have depression and everything? I'm sorry I just had to rant and get that out. This is the only place I can turn to.

~Sky

[CTCAD]

As a father whose daughter is battling depression/GAD my heart breaks for you. I watch my daughter, who is 14 have times in the day where she is enjoying between in the moment and have seen her where she gets lost in a moment. Her cuts are visible reminders to me that I need to love and support her through this. I don’t have all and at times seems like I do not have any answers to help. It took me hours of reading and searching for help to bring the Mental Illness issue as a topic to discuss, not hide or ignore. Sending you good thoughts and moral support

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to CTCAD]

Thank you and I'm sorry to hear she is struggling herself.

[hunter4ransom]

Sky,

It sounds like your dad loves you very much and is a strong support for you. He may not know the right things to say especially if he has never experienced anxiety, depression, or any painful mental illness, but sounds like he is trying.

You have found a great group of people here who totally understand your pain and would never discount or shame your experiences. We only hope to offer comfort, understanding, friendship, and a safe place to let it all out.

My 16 year old daughter and I suffer horrible anxiety. It’s hard to describe how life destroying it can be unless one has lived it. The good news is that there are many options for help. For me, it’s medication and therapy. For my daughter, it’s exercise, positive affirmations, meditation, and journaling.

I know you mentioned not wanting to seek professional help due to wanting to join military in the future. That is a decision only you can make. If the pain becomes too much to bare and has overtaken your ability to enjoy life, getting professional help is a much better option than living a life of pain in the military.

Take care and keep us updated.

[Midnightwolf1 in reply to hunter4ransom]

Thank you, I try not to let my depression and everything get in the way of my career. I try art which helps me at times and writing, that seems to help me a lot. I'll try to keep and update of how everything goes.