So someday last week I tried to talk to my father cause he's really the only one who I trust in my family. Well I thought I could talk to him anyways, but it turns out he is like everyone else. He thinks it's just a phase and that I'm just trying to control all of my emotions. At least that's what I intrepid. He doesn't believe I struggle day by day and have depression, anxiety and a paranoia of someone always watching me. That there is some day's that I can't deal and I think about ending it or that cutting is a way out for me, a release I shouldn't have, shouldn't do. That I feel so alone every once in a while or that I think so lowly of myself. That I talk to myself in the mirror shaming myself for getting teary-eyed or cutting or feeling to skinny or fat or doing something stupid. How come he can't believe me cause I'm a teenager? I would love to go get professional help but I can't cause if I get labeled at a depressed teen my military career is over. I mean if I am doing something I love, I am fine. If I just sit there everything hits me and I stay in depression. If I could only talk to my dad I would feel better but he doesn't believe me and I don't know what's going to happen when he signs into the military again. Its either he gets deployed or he gets stationed here. If he gets deployed, I honestly think my depression and anxiety will skyrocket. It will be because he is deployed and he is not here with me helping me get through my depression cause I usually tell him almost everything. Just once why can't he believe me? Why can't just one person I meet believe me? I had a doctor tell me all my stomach pain and knee pain was in my head. That I cause them for attention. I mean if I wanted attention wouldn't I be trying to tell anyone that will listen that I have cut myself once and I have depression and everything? I'm sorry I just had to rant and get that out. This is the only place I can turn to.