When you just can’t get out of your slump what are your recovery steps? *new member*

[Purpleboxer7]

Good afternoon everyone,

I have been struggling with my anxiety and self worth for a little over 2 years now. I have tried professional help however my anxiety has now made it difficult to even try again. My event that started all of my mental struggles haunts me. I feel like it’s just a matter of time until I am again left heartbroken, alone, and confused. My engagement was called off by my fiancé a little over a year and a half ago while he was deployed.. this was after I found out he cheated on me while he was in the U.S.A. It caused serious self doubt and even horrible suicidal thoughts. I was very alone due to leaving my family to be with him stationed in another state. Since then I have struggled feeling as though I am enough for anyone. I am now engaged to a wonderful man who is very open with me about all his feelings. During this quarantine I have been finding it hard to motivate myself to do anything.. I just want to sleep and can not get out of this slump. My fiancé has been very sweet however he has started venting his frustrations with me lack of motivation(I understand he’s in the right). His frustration triggers my mind to start thinking again I’m not enough and Causes serious depression which makes me even less motivated. I am getting anxious about everything now.. and it’s becoming out of my control. I Can’t even decide on dinner without feeling I will be making a bad choice and second guessing myself. I am struggling reaching out to anyone which is why I am here. Any tips on how I can try to get myself out of bed and moving.. I can no longer just sit in my mind struggling.

Thanks in advance for reading my long post.

[Survivingtheworld__]

You are more than enough and were born to be more than enough. Humanity has always been a selfish species but there are those amongst the bunch who are full of empathy and love and compassion. You cannot let the world dictate the way u view urself you are letting them win. If u were to die tomorrow would u be happy with how u lived ur life? A lot of the time motivation can only be found from within. Do some activities with ur fiancé fun wholesome romantic fun things that way u both can continue to build through ur turmoil while also showing him ur trying. Have a great day.

[Purpleboxer7 in reply to Survivingtheworld__]

Thank you so much for responding. I will continue to fight my battle and plan something for him and I to do here at home.

[Kaytee1981]

Bless you, lack of motivation is so difficult to overcome. What about a list, I love a list! Even simple, small steps of a bigger task like say wash, break it down to brush teeth, wash face etc..and tick off each task completed. Get out everyday, even if you are standing on your door step, get outside, take a few deep breaths of air, build it up go for a walk, do an errand, grab a coffee, build it up to talking to someone, the barista, the corner stop owner etc...you should be honest with your partner about your feelings and let him process it, it can be difficult if they havent experienced it themselves, tell him what will help you, what can he do when your particularly low, what will irritate and make things worse? He probably isn't as annoyed as you think he is, his probably worried. If his not making the right noises to supporting you, you need to consider your relationship (sorry but you do).

All the best x

[Purpleboxer7 in reply to Kaytee1981]

A list is a great idea! I will try doing that. I have been trying to take my dog for a walk everyday. I succeed three times last week. I have briefly talked to him about my feelings he struggles to understand but he does try to comfort me when I get emotional. He’s helped calm me a few times when I’ve had panic attacks. I think quarantine has taken its toll on both of us. With him working from home and me laid off. Thank you so much for reading my post and giving me advice. I really appreciate it

[Kate2411fl in reply to Purpleboxer7]

The situation is hard for anyone. Seriously. Getting laid off is a big thing. Him working at home is stressful. The virus is a constant stress. Add that to anxiety disorder. Damn girl... I think you should be proud that you took the dog for a walk. Keep it up. Do a bit more tomorrow. Tell us about it. Celebrate the success. You got this!

[Kate2411fl]

Hi... I know it's hard... I struggle with it too, but your self worth has nothing to do with your ex or with your current guy. You are worthy because you are you. I always find that accomplishing something makes me feel better about me. The first couple things are the hardest when you feel stuck in a hole. With this isolation, keeping to a schedule has saved me. Getting up at my normal time, going for a walk, showering and getting dressed in decent clothes each morning gives me purpose. I'm at risk for getting stuck in a down state if I let myself too. So I'm really trying to set a goal each day and be proud to accomplish it.

Try to go easy on yourself too. This situation sucks!!!! At least you are on here talking. That's a good thing! Do me a favor and get dressed and do your hair tomorrow. Really. Fake it till you make it mama!

[Purpleboxer7 in reply to Kate2411fl]

Thank you for both of your comments! I actually did get dressy and do my make up today. I am feeling so much better already. I was able to video chat with my family for Easter and that helped me more than I realized. Your advice has really helped me and Its amazing to now have people who have gone through the same feelings to talk to. I feel this website has taken away a lot of stress. Every single one of the replies to my post has touched my heart and made my eyes water. I appreciate all of the comments more than I can express.

[Hidden]

Hi there, I have found -- at times-- that this blog/article was very helpful at explaining motivation vs. discipline and "getting things done" wisdomination.com/screw-mot.... I agree with what others have said-- planning activities, getting out every day, having a schedule,... these are all things that have helped me get out of a slump. Sometimes, I just had to be, and feel that slump. And -- it may not be popular thing to say-- and figure out if there really are things that I want to do in this world, if I really want to keep going. It took about 3-4 months last year. I still did things, and one of my mantras when depressed--something I've thought for about 3 decades now is: try not to make any long, lasting decisions while I'm depressed -- like quitting a job, or sabotaging my career (or a relationship, though I've done that one more times than I care to admit)... or stated another way, "how can I maintain the status quo so things don't get worse even though they look like they can't." I hope you find some peace and fun today.

[Purpleboxer7 in reply to Hidden]

thank you so much! I will read the blog tonight! It's so nice hearing from people who have also gone through this. I am doing a little better today. Video chatting with family has seemed to brighten my mood. I appreciate the advice and I will make sure not to make any crazy choices during this time. Have a wonderful day!