Let Go: I usually have a lot of... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Let Go

perkofawallflower
perkofawallflower

I usually have a lot of insecurities with relationships and become needy and clingy. I had a talk with my boyfriend and we discussed what I am doing that is needy and clingy. I decided to let go and just trust him. I normally will text him what are you doing or I will ask if he ex wife texted or called him. He has to talk to his ex wife because they share custody of their daughter. Before I would get upset that she texts him all the time about trivial things that have nothing to do with his daughter. Now, instead of getting upset when he tells me, I have learned to let it go and ask how can I support him because it causes him frustration. I am able to just be a support person instead of me reacting to what she does. I am so much happier. I can’t control what she does I can only control my reaction. I realized she wants me to react and she likes drama. I will not let my anxiety respond to her reaction. Instead I have been using it to strength my relationship with my boyfriend and support him. He doesn’t respond to her either. He only texts or returns phone calls if it directly deals with his daughter. Him and I have become a united front to handle his ex wife. He deals with her directly and I just support him to keep our relationship strong.

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That's great news!!! You both should stand as a united front!!! I'm so happy for you!! Have a joy filled day!!! XXX

I am really happy to read your words as they bring so much awareness and awareness is essential to make the change!

It’s already a great part of letting go :)

What I see here and what I can suggest would be to actually be clingy and be needy but in a little bit different form. Wanting your man and being interested in him is nothing bad, it’s actually great as it builds a true relation between you guys. You need to know each other and feel connected. Check in every day, if your man doesn’t like the text messages so often, moderate and instead have a long talk by the evening how each other had their day. Instead of asking, say what bugs you - say I miss you, when you miss him. Small positivity is always a fuel to a great one!

I also suggest you to work on the feelings you have for the other woman. First of all you need to accept her presence in your own life and in life of your family. She’s gonna be there forever! Don’t stress over her presence or touch she gets with your man - instead think that he is choosing everyday to be with you, that’s enough to believe him and trust him :-))

I do encourage you to have a look on the book by John Gottman- Seven principles to make marriage...

Aww thank you so much. Yeah I am working on accepting that she will always be apart of his life. It’s really hard but I am learning and not letting her get to me. His family explained that she is like that with everyone.

What growth in a week! You are amazing. I remember your previous post. I smiled as I read this. You deserve happiness and you are not allowing his ex to steal that from you.

Aww thank you so much. I have been reading so much and utilizing suggestions from ppl has really helped.

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