Feeling guilty

[KristinK67]

It finally happened...the intense stress from work and life has brought me to my knees... I couldn't call in "sick" because I know that one day isn't going to be enough. So I fibbed about my mom being really ill with heart issues ( which is true just not to the extent that she's currently in the hospital), and said that I needed to take the rest of the week off... My boss then texted me 11 times telling me the things I needed to do!! So I'm sitting here with tears running down my face from the anxiety and feelings of being so overwhelmed, that I had to resort to lying so that I can breathe. I don't know what to do.... 😥

[Carcar89]

oh no you poor thing don’t worry it’s just a temporary glitch, it will get better . Are you having panic attacks ? Or stress ? Or both ? What’s happening ? And what’s happening to make you so stressed ? Is it just something that’s come on or have you suffered from it before ? Your priorities need to be to focus on yourself right now don’t worry about anything else or work surely you can take some sick leave ? Our minds are even more fragile than our bodies sometimes and we really need to look after them . So sorry your going through this your not alone !

[Juliagail]

You didn’t ask for this. No guilt necessary. You need time for yourself this week and it’s okay. Put your phone down for a couple hours, insist on doing what’s best for you today. I was there many many times when my kids were smaller and I didn’t even work. Hope you feel better soon.

[Hidden]

I had to go on medical leave from work, is that an option for you? I’m in California and it’s a pretty simple process. I ended up on paid disability for a few months. I ultimately never went back to that job and I’m in school now for a new career, but that isn’t to say you can’t get on leave for a few months and then go back to your job. I felt so guilty going on leave at first, I felt like i let everyone down at work and they were talking about me. What matters is that you take care of yourself and your health. The job is not important right now.

[KristinK67 in reply to Hidden]

I don't think paid medical leave is an option... I work for a non profit. But I can't afford to not work. I seriously doubt my ability to hang on though and would like time away from that job while I look for another. Unfortunately, I don't have anything or anyone to fall back on and that is so frightening.

[3ccc]

I’m going through the same situation right now. I hate my job most days. I have the same routine everyday. I’m lonely but then again I don’t want to be with anyone. Starting a new relationship gives me anxiety and I continuously stay depressed. I don’t know what I should do to make it better, but Matthew 6:34 says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” This scripture showed me that only worrying about one day at a time will help my anxiety. Every time I catch myself worrying about something in the future, I try to push it back and worry about what’s going on in the present. It won’t get easier but all we can do is find ways to cope with it. You have to pinpoint the main issue that is making you feel this way. You are the only one who can change the way you feel. “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life ?” Luke 12:25. I’m not trying to throw scripture at anyone, I’m just sharing words that comfort me in times of weakness. This life isn’t forever, so while we’re in it, make the best of it. You won’t always feel this way. What is it you want to accomplish? What do you think will make you happy? It’s questions like this we have to ask ourselves. We have to just breathe, remember that we are human. Today will eventually be yesterday, in the past. Things will get better.

Luke 12:25 | NIV

Matthew 6:34 | NIV

[KristinK67]

Thank you for sharing scripture... I'm Christian and have been clinging to God the best way I know how...

[3ccc in reply to KristinK67]

I don’t go to church like I should and I don’t live my best life but I talk to God every night to get things off my chest. You may not hear him but he definitely hears you. I’ve made it a point to read at least one verse every night before bed and you wouldn’t believe the verses I’ve read that compares to exactly how I’m feeling that day. It’s like it gives you guidance on how to resolve your problems.

[YoungSimba]

KristinK67

I relate so much. I did the same thing a week ago. I lied about needing to get a spinal tap(I’ve had one before and the ppl I work for know about it so it was an easy lie) but I didn’t regret it. I needed a break to reset. It was great. You have to take care of yourself too! Try to not feel bad about the lie but what you are going to gain from the break. You can go back to work feeling less overwhelmed. If you feel bad about the circumstances of the lie, spend time with your mom during that time. Just do whatever will help you get back to you.

[KristinK67]

I'm so relieved to know that I'm not a "terrible" person for lying... But I know that I reached the end of my rope and needed to take a break for my own sanity.