Does anyone else get more anxiety and feel more depressed when it’s a holiday
I feel so sad and alone today
I have no one here with me and I see everyone out celebrating and that is how I thought my life would be and I can’t recover from how my world has changed the past few months
Yeah, I agree that both can be worse on holidays. Today, I'm aware that all of my colleagues either have plans or are at least spending time with someone. Today all I did was read a book and wander about the city like a ghost, and that's my typical day-off behavior, but it's even less fun when I know that most people have plans.
The fact is, if I were asked to participate in my acquaintances' plans, and if I agreed, it probably wouldn't be that fun for me anyway.
Going by the last paragraph in your reply you don't seem to want to go and have fun, why is that?
I think it's just because there aren't too many people with whom I really feel comfortable. Do you know what I mean?
Yes I do, I only feel comfortable with a few people that I only see every so often.
Haven't you got anyone you could see every so often?
Not anyone I like very much, locally. I used to play RPGs with some of my best-but-remote friends online and that could be fun, when they were into it. They haven't seemed interested lately, but maybe I'll nudge them about it.
Yep, it’s lonely here, too, but like you, I don’t really like to be around a bunch of people anymore when I’m feeling like doo doo. So I dragged myself out for a walk with my old dogs. It was peaceful, but even that made me sad. My neighbors will be doing fireworks tonight, so I’ll wander out for a little bit, but kind of feeling like a wandering ghost, too!!!
One time I was alone on Halloween, so I grabbed this cheap, black, hooded robe I'd purchased for a past costume, along with a fake long-handled axe from another past costume, and I just walked around the neighborhood as a spectator on the trick-or-treat scene. I must have been sufficiently mysterious because a gaggle of little boys asked me if I was a girl or not, and some other kids talking among themselves referred to me as La Muerta. Lol. At least I entertained some kids.
Ha ha! Sometimes we just gotta do SOMETHING—anything to get outta our heads. That’s why I’m going to check out the fireworks. I don’t really even like fireworks, but it’ll be right in front of my house, so instead of just being annoyed by it, I’ll make a teensy effort to act like I'm celebrating the 4th of July. 🙄
That’s a good thing to try - I hope it helps !
Thanks, Chris. It’s kind of awkward to be the loner so often (surrounded by families, etc, outgoing people), but on rare occasions, I really try to step out of my comfort zone (I.e. my safe place, at home) and just take a chance that I might have a happy moment. 💛