Holidays make things worse

Yeah, I agree that both can be worse on holidays. Today, I'm aware that all of my colleagues either have plans or are at least spending time with someone. Today all I did was read a book and wander about the city like a ghost, and that's my typical day-off behavior, but it's even less fun when I know that most people have plans.

The fact is, if I were asked to participate in my acquaintances' plans, and if I agreed, it probably wouldn't be that fun for me anyway.

Going by the last paragraph in your reply you don't seem to want to go and have fun, why is that?

I think it's just because there aren't too many people with whom I really feel comfortable. Do you know what I mean?

Yes I do, I only feel comfortable with a few people that I only see every so often.

Haven't you got anyone you could see every so often?

Not anyone I like very much, locally. I used to play RPGs with some of my best-but-remote friends online and that could be fun, when they were into it. They haven't seemed interested lately, but maybe I'll nudge them about it.

Yep, it’s lonely here, too, but like you, I don’t really like to be around a bunch of people anymore when I’m feeling like doo doo. So I dragged myself out for a walk with my old dogs. It was peaceful, but even that made me sad. My neighbors will be doing fireworks tonight, so I’ll wander out for a little bit, but kind of feeling like a wandering ghost, too!!!

One time I was alone on Halloween, so I grabbed this cheap, black, hooded robe I'd purchased for a past costume, along with a fake long-handled axe from another past costume, and I just walked around the neighborhood as a spectator on the trick-or-treat scene. I must have been sufficiently mysterious because a gaggle of little boys asked me if I was a girl or not, and some other kids talking among themselves referred to me as La Muerta. Lol. At least I entertained some kids.

Ha ha! Sometimes we just gotta do SOMETHING—anything to get outta our heads. That’s why I’m going to check out the fireworks. I don’t really even like fireworks, but it’ll be right in front of my house, so instead of just being annoyed by it, I’ll make a teensy effort to act like I'm celebrating the 4th of July. 🙄

That’s a good thing to try - I hope it helps !

Thanks, Chris. It’s kind of awkward to be the loner so often (surrounded by families, etc, outgoing people), but on rare occasions, I really try to step out of my comfort zone (I.e. my safe place, at home) and just take a chance that I might have a happy moment. 💛

I can relate totally I’m very sad and alone

I always feel sad and alone but today is worse than every maybe it’s cause of my bad week ahead and it’s stressing me I don’t know

I see all these happy people and I wonder if they are really happy

You’re not alone, I’m feeling the same way, especially today.

I’m so sorry as I am going thru the very same feelings..chris1976 you’re not alone if you’re on this forum💕They’re wonderful, caring people here. We all try and give each other support as we’re all struggling with so many things..Just wanted you to know you’re safe and cared about here..🤗

This forum actually has really saved me

I love the people on here

They are the most kind caring compassionate people I’ve ever talked to!

Chris1976, I've always had anxiety during most holidays too. I feel you.

Yes I think it’s a normal feeling, it reenforces the alone ness, drag yourself for a walk, watch funny film, eat good food, give your body a holiday, I actually find the interaction around family too intense now, so would rather engage for couple hours then retreat to my cave, if that makes sense x

Yes I get it

I get anxiety when people come around I get it when they leave

I found that my meds have helped but for some reason it is starting again but I think it’s cause I have a really stressful thing hanging over me next week

Thank you for all your advice

😃

Hi Chris my name is christine too i understand how you BBC feel and hope you get better soon 💖

It’s been a long day and I’m glad it’s over

Honestly I can’t wait until next week is over I have a lot going on in my life

The wonderful people I talk to on here like you have helped with the positives messages ! 😘

You sound like a beautiful person please get strong 💪 for your self. I am trying too x

Everyday I pray to God to help me get through things and help all the people that are suffering like me- there have many so many days I didn’t think I would make it through- but here I am. There has to be a reason for all of this even though I can’t see it now, maybe one day I look back and understand

Chris,

You have no idea... actually I take that back, you do. Holidays and birthdays are the worst for me. I always thought I'd be happy out and about, enjoying my time on this Earth. Instead, I feel lost and alone. Loneliness is a kick in the teeth. It pisses me off because I have so much to offer to a relationship/friendship but I always seem to attract the selfish, insincere, narcissistic bunch.

I understand and I empathize.

I totally understand stand you- this is not how I pictured my life would be right now but I have got to believe there is some type of purpose for this- something bigger and better has to be coming for me- I don’t believe i could be going through all this for nothing and I believe that about you! I think you life is going to be so much bigger and better than you think it will be- we just have to get through these very hard times to teach us what we want out of life and to never accept anything but the best

Thank you Chris, I appreciate your kind words. I often sit here and wonder about all the other lonely people in the world and wish we could ALL meet up and have a super mega party celebrating OURSELVES and not giving two shakes about anything 😄😄😄

I think that would be the best day ever!

Hi Chris1976. It happens to me too, especially because I relocated to a new country and have zero support structure. Hope your day went off well.

Talk to the wonderful people on here! We will help be your support structure!

Sometimes days are hard to get through so I focus on something smaller like an hour and if that’s too big for me I go for a few mins - but somehow someway I make it through- I know you can too!

Thank you so much. You just made me feel much better than I have in a long time. Hope you're doing well today.

How are you Chris?

I totally agree. I am home alone too.

I’m sorry I know it’s hard- thankfully that day is over we can all make it through this together

Try to think that you have not recovered yet and not that you can’t recover and work on why your life has changed recently. Do something that you would have done on your own and enjoyed before things changed. Good luck.

Thank you- everyone on here always gives me such good advice and it’s my fault that I really haven’t done a lot to change my situation- I have been sitting around feeling sorry for myself but I have to realize if u want to get better I need to start listening to the things people tell me or I’ll be in the same situation- I’m the one who can help myself and I need to try somehow and start doing that

Hi chris1976,

Yes holidays are difficult for many... especially for those of us that experience depression and/or social anxiety. Holidays seem forceful to be “happy” (which is part of our expectant ‘c’mon be happy’ society).

As for me, I choose to be happy when I want to be happy... not when others tell me to.

Yesterday, July 4th was hard for me. I isolated. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years are especially difficult since they are family and social “happy” based.

Here’s what I propose... when a holiday arrives, we log into this site and support each other through the holiday so we can get through it without feeling defective. On the contrary we can support each other in order to not feel alone and yet feel fulfilled with the support we have to offer one another.

Thank you for your post. I felt a lot less alone reading it.

Best,

MZ

I think that is a great idea- we have to get through these difficult times together! We need to lean on each other and be there for each other especially through the hardest days! One step at atime we will all get there by helping each other!

That’s great Chris. It sounds like you and I both made a new friend today...along with the others that are supportive here. I check this site frequently. So I’m here to help with holidays, lonely weekends, and to just be a good listener with empathy.

I have my social challenges too. I as well can use the support offered here.

Best,

MZ

We definitely need to be there for all of us struggling ! I can’t say it enough this place has helped me so much much- I may not always post or respond as much as I would like but I try and see how everyone is doing on here and keep people in my daily thoughts!

That sounds great chris1976. Yes we are here to support each other. Thank you for all your kind words. My shoulder is always here.

Best,

MZ