holidays

[Rufus07]

is anyone else dreading the holiday? My anxiety is horrible this time of year. So hectic, so much to worry about and do. To many people over in my small house. Trying to be a good hostess (I am not a good hostess). Too stressful. Any ideas on how to cope would greatly be appreciated.

[AllDone67]

I always dread the holidays but am hoping that I can escape family visits. Claiming to have explosive diarrhea is my go to strategy and when the IBS flares up is not a total lie. It is my strategy for avoiding weddings too.

[Rufus07 in reply to AllDone67]

mom and dad usually still do Xmas at their house even though not as many people come anymore. Everyone pretty much does their own thing. If I don’t make it because of my anxiety, mom understands. Everyone else, not so much. I actually made it last year and ended up having an anxiety attack. Mostly I was told to get myself together. We left shortly after.

[dutchgirl71]

same!! I’m sorry I don’t have any suggestions for you as I just muster through it…but you are certainly not alone!!

[Rufus07 in reply to dutchgirl71]

It’s good to know I’m not alone

[fauxartist]

Do a pot luck, and let everyone do their own thing.... take the stress off of you, and don't worry about what you think will make everyone happy, if your happy.... that will carry over to the overall vibe. I don't do holidays like I used to anymore... I'm too old, and too tired, and done with the teenage drama from adult children in my life.... I'm much happier for it.

[Rufus07 in reply to fauxartist]

Everyone, for the most part brings something so some of the cooking pressure is off me but it’s still very stressful. Our house is tiny with hardly any counter space so there isn’t room for everything and that stresses me out too. No room for everyone to sit either. My sig. other frys the turkey outside so I don’t have to worry about that. But all the other stuff…..He also invites all his friends so they don’t have to be alone which I understand but again, more stress for me. I’ll just have to try my best and take klonopin!

[fauxartist in reply to Rufus07]

Just remember...it's a day to relax and enjoy each others company, nobody cares about the small stuff...everyone is coming to enjoy the day, don't worry about anything else, they will all find a place to sit, and eating, and talking.... and try to just get into the groove... you'll be okay.

[Rufus07 in reply to fauxartist]

I’m going to try my best🙂

[Rufus07 in reply to fauxartist]

my two kids come on Xmas eve and last year we decided to just do appetizers. Much easier!

[fauxartist in reply to Rufus07]

Yeah..... I never understood the huge dinners and cooking for 2 days just for an hour or two of stuffing your face.... I agree on the keeping simple and having more time to enjoy the day with loved ones....

[Bigoldogsmiles]

This is your life and your Christmas too Rufus. Change the dialogue into something that is manageable for you. Our son has anxiety too and he is grateful that we honor his feelings if he doesn't feel up to attending. I am having a lot of anxirty too this year too am thinking of getting together at a restaurant with each of the kids individually.

[Rufus07 in reply to Bigoldogsmiles]

The restaurant sounds like a good idea

[JFKelley]

I dread the holidays because I have very little family. Just me, my husband who is ill, and my 96 year old deaf mother with early stage dementia. I would spend the holidays volunteering at my church, but I have hubby and mom to care for.

[Rufus07 in reply to JFKelley]

Volunteering sounds great to me! If only….

[ctdkm]

I dread the holidays because so often I'm left alone. This year, I asked a support group if there was something we could do on Thanksgiving for people who don't have anywhere to go. A lady who's been with the group for years put something together for 4 people, so I do have a place to go. I still felt she was keeping a distance from me, but maybe that's my own worry and not about her.

[Rufus07 in reply to ctdkm]

I’m so glad you have a place to go🙂. Sometimes I wish I could just be alone😔

[OrphanNanee]

Yes yes I am too! I can't believe they're here already, the holidays that is.

[Rufus07 in reply to OrphanNanee]

The sooner they are here, the sooner they will be done

[Downandout123 in reply to Rufus07]

Can't wait! Lol. I hate that the holidays are spent with people you don't necessarily like. Like my son-in-law's family.😣

[Rufus07 in reply to Downandout123]

Luckily I like the people that come over, it’s just too many of them. I don’t want them to be alone, so I tolerate it the best I can

[Downandout123 in reply to Rufus07]

Oh that's good at least!

[Midori in reply to Rufus07]

I understand your worry, crowds in small spaces, URRRGH!

cheers, Midori

[Rufus07 in reply to Midori]

I’m just glad it’s done