at the edge: I'm a 61 year old male and... - Anxiety and Depre...

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at the edge

1sss profile image
1sss
18 Replies

I'm a 61 year old male and am at the end of my rope. In a matter of less than 2 years, I went from a relatively successful man with an above average job, a wife and 2 beautiful daughters, a home, etc. to being unemployed and apparently unhirable, one daughter in jail, no money, about to lose my home, blah, blah, blah. I wake up every morning in a full blown panic attack, my heart never stops pounding out of my chest until I drift off to sleep at night. I don't know how many more of these days my body can take. I can't even get help for this problem because of money. Then I read posts from young people going through similar feelings. This tears me up. Don't let it get to the point of where I am at. You all are too young to be going through this. You shouldn't have to. You know, I constantly pray to God that he take me because I won't. I don't want to leave this earth if for no other reason than my kids. They need me, but I am way more burden than help right now.

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1sss profile image
1sss
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18 Replies
AZ1970 profile image
AZ1970

I am sorry. You have lost so much. I don't know if there are low income resources available where you live, but it sounds like you need some boosting up.

I agree totally about the young kids on here. I am almost 48 and had a nervous breakdown last year. I went from a successful career, going to grad school, etc to being unable to work due to my disability. Take care of yourselves everyone!

I am glad you reached out .

Similar story to mine, I had to start right from scratch, I lost so much, it's been a long on n off struggle but I'm finally happy again, I left anxiety along time ago n now realize it came from me, I created my own anxiety from irrational fear n thoughts, I was scared stiff of everything, I believed I couldn't survive another single day, but I did, I understand how completely overwhelming it all feels, but there's always a way, you just have to work at finding it, so many suffer but so many recover too, please don't give up xx

H2thag profile image
H2thag in reply to

Suzie, I’m glad you are happy again. I long to say those words—happy again. I’m trying to tackle my anxiety and not let it tackle me. May I ask if any RXs are helping you, too?

in reply toH2thag

RXs? not sure what that is? Sorry xx

H2thag profile image
H2thag in reply to

Hi. Oh, prescriptions 🙂

in reply toH2thag

I was taking fluoxetine for many yrs, I found them very helpful during recovery, I don't take anything now though x

H2thag profile image
H2thag in reply to

Thank you for replying. I was on fluoxetine for many years, then it seemed to stop working, so I’ve been trying many other RXs but they either don’t work or have horrible side effects. I’m thinking about trying fluoxetine again just to try to get back to feeling somewhat ok—I’m not sure yet, tho!

in reply toH2thag

Nothing to loose by trying them again, to be honest although the meds helped, they did not bring about my recovery, that was a combination of other things, the main thing was studying anxiety n how it works n manifests, I read lots of books aswell as completing a course in anxiety/depression/stress, knowledge n understanding was my savour, that's what helped remove the fear, remove that n your well on your way xx

H2thag profile image
H2thag in reply to

Thank you, suzie. I’m just seeing this reply. I like the idea of tackling the issue of anxiety and depression by really understanding it. I’m starting to delve into it and focus on all the positive things I can try to feel better.

Olinick profile image
Olinick

I have had a similar situation as you. I made it through, most of the time I don't know quite how but I did. Things are a little better now. I don't know where you live but are you able to get health insurance through the government? That could be a help so that you can go to a doctor and get help to control the anxiety. Everything is going to seem much worse when the anxiety is doing all the talking. If you can get the anxiety in control you can plan out things a little better. I know what you mean by not being employable because of your age. I cut back on work to care for my parents thinking it would only be a year. My employer had no intentions of hiring me back full time even though I had been there for 15 years and had done a good job all those years. I got let go and from that point on most places wouldn't even consider me. Finally out of the blue, a job I had always wanted opened up. I was asked to come in for an interview immediately (had to go in shorts and a t-shirt because I had just worked out - they didn't care), was interviewed and hired on the spot. I am still working there two years later. Things will get better. Hang in there.

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply toOlinick

May I ask- are you in your sixties? You do not have to answer if you are uncomfortable.

Olinick profile image
Olinick in reply togogogirl

Almost. I just turned 55.

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply toOlinick

Lucky you! I am well into the next decade- but hey I saw a piece about a retired vet who is 112!!!!

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

Did they downsize you because of age but use another excuse? I know personally that it's even tougher out there when you are older which is not fair in some sense. Glad you came to this post. Then you have the family issues to deal with also. You are human not a burden remember that. Have you contacted AARP? They sometimes have resources for older people who are facing a job crisis.

Olinick profile image
Olinick

I have thought of joining AARP at times but just haven't. I didn't realize they also help older people in job crisis. I did start to go to a state agency that helps people of all ages and issues get jobs, whether you are young and just starting out without much of an education, to older people with a lot of education. They also help people with disabilities find a job that is best suited for their disability. Luckily, thought, just as I started working with them I did get the other job that I currently have but at times the anxiety does too much talking and I start to fear that I will lose that job. Yes, I was let go because of age but they used stupid excuses that weren't even true. In fact in another job where I faced the same situation, when one excuse couldn't work and I had proof, they switched to another excuse. It made them really look bad. In fact with my new job I sometimes have to deal or at least face that boss. I just snub her and don't give her the time of day. My current boss knows the situation and actually had run ins with her at other jobs she has and totally gets what I have said. We just deal with her and let her go on her way.

Katlynn profile image
Katlynn

I am sorry you are going thru this. I am also going thru simular situation. I did lose my job, my car, my home in January of this year. I lost everything. I moved in with my oldest daughter for 3 months and now live with my youngest now for 2 months. I was a wreck. I still am sometimes. I will finally start working a part time job tomorrow, making less money then I have in 30+ years. I am having to take a bus to work. If I sit and think to much I will cry. You are not alone..

Olinick profile image
Olinick

You are lucky that you have family to take you in. I know it doesn't totally take away the stress but that can give you some peace. I ended up working part time jobs as well, except, since I am alone I was working up to 5 part time jobs at a time just to keep a roof over my head and put some food on the table. I had even decided at one point that if I only had enough money to buy food for me or for my animals, I would buy food for them. I understood why I didn't have food but I couldn't exactly explain to a dog and two cats why didn't have as much food. I even thought about giving up the animals to help with expenses but they were my family. Good luck with your new job. I hope it all goes well for you.

H2thag profile image
H2thag in reply toOlinick

I hear ya! My dogs are an extra expense but they give me so much, I do the very best I can to keep them happy and healthy. I returned to a p/t job recently after being forced out of a decade+ job 2 years ago. I absolutely hate it, but at least I’m scraping by. Doing what I can do to find a more aligned way to make a living—taking it day by day in the meantime.

It is nice to hear you’re at a job you like.

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