Full Circle

[Olinick]

Despite having GAD, panic disorder, PTSD, ADD, and depression I started on a very long and hard journey about 10 years ago. I had become my parent's caregiver. I have a brother and sister but they "were too busy" to often help out. As the care of my parent's became more time consuming I had to cut back on work, not a great idea for someone who is single. Thinking I was only cutting back for one year that led into another year and then I was forced out of the job. Being my 40s at the time I didn't realize age discrimination would be already hitting. I found myself juggling sometimes as many as 5 part time jobs to keep a roof over my head, while still taking care of, by this time, just my mother. Because of the jobs just being part time I often didn't have insurance (I was lucky enough to live in a state that eventually required all residents to have insurance so went on a state plan) and was barely living paycheck to paycheck. Several years ago my sister finally stepped up and took my mother to live in a facility near her so I could try to put my life back together. The job situation did improve but the financial situation didn't. Finally several months ago I decided to take money out of my retirement to get rid of the housing debt. The bank made this very difficult and I had to fight them. Little old me, by myself, fought like I didn't think I could and won! I beat a major bank with no help! So for the past month I have been living without debt for the first time in years. Yesterday my mother passed away. Although I haven't been with her these past several years I still always worried about her. She, too, now is at peace. When I think of all I have dealt with and conquered all these years, despite having a disability, I am so proud of myself. I know this doesn't mean the anxiety and depression is going away but I did it - I survived the journey and succeeded!

[Agora1]

Olinick, a bittersweet ending to years of your struggles. I am truly sorry in the passing of your mother. You gave of yourself unselfishly when she needed you most. Putting yourself under undo stress. You have every right now to be proud of yourself. You were on a most difficult road and you survived. You truly are a Warrior

Life has blessed you now, continue going forward and reap the rewards you so deserve. xx

[Olinick in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. My mother is now at peace and I can live more at peace.

[Rpan]

What a story, great job. Sorry about your loss.

[hillcountryoldie]

Wow. I’m new here but I certainly understand. May you stay on a path of peace from now on.

[BonnieSue]

A job well done, Olinick, and at great cost to yourself. I'm helping care for my parents now and all 3 of my sons have ADD, ADHD, and learning disabilities and one is profoundly depressed and has to live with me. I have some of your diagnoses so I can understand a little bit. I hope your job situation only improves in the future for you and I am sorry for your losses. I think you probably brought a certain sense of peace and security to your parents the years they knew they could count on you to see to their well-being.

[Genlean]

Prayers to you.

You are taking care of yourself and have done a great job. Reflect on your accomplishments and achievement every day, when struggling and in joy.

Blessings to you!