Need help , please !! 🙁

[Hope011]

I am not sure ... where to begin.

I think i have been in state of complete mess since last 5 years... i still cant belive that i may be suffering from depression. I have not seen any doctor yet and i m clueless where to begin... rest if my life is all fine but depression kills the happy part. I am scared nervous and ofcourse want to come out of this state but dnt know how. I shout ... on people i love the most .. i get angry on little things .. i almost every 3rd day think..” why am i even alive” ? Confused whats wrong and how to fix it... i am just living a futile life which i know i dnt deserve. I hate my in laws sometimes... sometimes my job... my life and other times i love all of these. My huge expectations are there ... and othertimes i am complete hopeless. All i am sure is ... there could be something wrong and i need help!!

[Ibo1571]

Hi go and speak with your GP and see what he or she says I did and he prescribed me anti depressants and once I had been on them for a month as this is how long they take to work I could not believe the difference it made I had forgot how it was to feel so good and happy again but I must stress the pills alone will only mask the symptoms you will need to see a councilor to resolve any under lying issues I hope this helps

[fauxartist]

It certainly sounds like you’re going through a lot of confusion and turmoil...I'm very sorry for that...but it sounds like a bit more is going on other than depression...these outbursts of anger often for some are because at some point their boundaries have been crossed without our wanting this...feeling out of control....sounds like pent up frustration...and this would be best sorted out in therapy, as none of us here are professionals. Find out for sure what's going on, it may not be depression on its own, or at all. Either way, forget about stigmas that are attached to these labels... we are simply people with problems than need to be sorted out. And it takes time, but at least you’re realizing you need help with this.

[Hope011 in reply to fauxartist]

You sound so relatable. I really need someone to guide me... tell me what to do.. i have started taking alcohol to overcome my anxiety and feeling of lonliness... i post fake photos on social media..to pretend i m happy... i try to smile and sound humorous to my colleagues so that no one can guess what i am going through... my neighbors complain to police that they are getting disturbed when i scream... i am so buried under all this that my life seems to be a waste.... unknowing i am hurting my people and they are going away from me... i m getting lonlieer , alcoholic which i never want to be.😞

[fauxartist in reply to Hope011]

if you don't mind me asking....why do you scream?....

[Hope011 in reply to fauxartist]

I feel like no one is listening me... or my voice is not reaching my people... i feel so distant... i feel i am not allowed to express myself completely or no one understands me at all... my emotions are not understood and my words are not realized... 🙁

[fauxartist in reply to Hope011]

It's very frustrating when we can't seem to communicate what some of us go through, and we just blow because of it. But for us to be able to cope with our issues in the real world....we do need help...we need to understand how to express ourselves so we can be heard and not alienate people around us. But sometimes people don't know how to be there for us, or even want to because they have too many things they have to deal with in their lives....It's not our fault, we have this disease. We can however learn to handle anger and frustration through work with a good therapist who understands you and knows how to help you. It may take trying a few different ones to get the right fit....but sometimes we just have to keep trying because we can't get better on our own if we don't know how to.

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

So true Fauxartist, sometimes people don’t know how to be here for us and it’s not our fault. We have to keep trying various ways of helping ourselves.

[Starrlight]

(((((((((((Hug)))))))))

At times I had gotten to the point where I was so built up with anger and sadness and so on edge that I’d get in the car onto the highway and scream.

Do you think therapy would help? Then you would be listened to plus you could have some advice as to what to work on to get to a better happier place.

I wish you well and know that I’m around if you ever want to pm me I am a good listener.

[Hope011 in reply to Starrlight]

Thats really nice of you!

I just hope my life comes on track... i dnt want broken relationships... they hurt... i dnt want to go through that pain... when people leave you..because u r sick... or atleast look mental sick... i desperately want to be loved and love each and everyone around me... have my soul in positivity and peace... i dnt want to be negative person @starrlight... i want to be as happy as i look in my fake smiling pictures.... please help !!😢

[Starrlight in reply to Hope011]

Your life will get back on track. Sounds like you have a lot of love in your heart. And you are determined to be happy. It’s hard to be positive when we have depression but things can get better, easier. Will you find a therapist? That could really be a huge help to you to get back on track. You deserve that help.

[fauxartist in reply to Starrlight]

really terrific advice Starrlight....

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Brilliant brilkiNt with the hug. Genuis pure genuis