A long chit chat with Joanna made me realise anything is possible.

[secrets22]

After a few days of feeling very unwell and didn't seem to be improving, my long time friend Joanna who i rarely see contacted me out of the blue and made my world seem lighter.

We chatted for around 2 hours, and in the distant past when she was going through turmoil in her life, we became very close friends, and i was reminded of her difficult times so vividly.

She was going through a difficult relationship break up ( one of many)

She had a high powered and highly paid job in Bristol, however about 8 years ago when she was heading to work she suddenly stopped and drove back home and said she couldn't do it anymore.

She then flew off to Mallorca on the spur of the moment, having nowhere to stay, very little money, but found a cheapy hotel to sort herself out. She immersed herself in the local culture and finally found herself a job with a travel company in Palma, and then bought a small flat in Palma where she still lives to this day. I admire her courage, and i honestly didn't think she had it in her, but she says its the best thing she's ever done, brave and foolish in her parents' eyes, but she did it, and did it her way and is very happy.

She still hasn't found her Mr Right among her many suiters😍, but its no longer top of her list, she has made good friends and enjoys their company and if anything ever goes wrong she still has a tiny house in the UK she can retreat to.

Talking to Jo has made me determined to make major changes, and I will, and really anything is possible with faith and a will to change things.😇

[Turnipgirl]

What I find is that tiredness and feeling run down can be psychological as well as physical.

Perhaps you needed that chat on the phone!

I remember just after I had been released from the hospital after I had blood clots in the lungs in the January a good friend of mine rang me up one Saturday afternoon to see how I was getting on and I said about an incident at the job I was at at that time when they wouldn't let me go on a taster program to try out different job roles in the organisation but others had it no problem and her perspective was that it was that it was unfair which was what had upset me rather than not doing that in itself and eventually I took my name off the list for that as I was fed up with them messing about!

Now I feel it was a blessing in disguise when they did that as it led me to leave there but at the time it had felt like the world had ended!

[gettingsomewhere]

This is a wonderful and inspiring story from Jo and how opportune she should be in touch now!

You have suffered long enough secrets and deserve to be happy and I hope Jo' s example will encourage you!

[Turnipgirl in reply to gettingsomewhere]

It's funny the way life works out isn't it?

One mate of mine said how when those poisonous jobs ended it was a blessing in disguise and how it was that life was telling me no to things when it took them away and also when it took away the old place last year which was the best thing that could have happened to me but when those things happened it felt like the world had ended!

My mate reckoned that life had waited until after my father died to bring me to the life I was meant to have well away from those poisonous public sector jobs and that poisonous flat and life had put me in those places just to shut my father up and when he died took them away as there was no need for them anymore!

It's no happy accident I feel that my ibs has gone into remission since those things were taken away as they were things I never wanted to achieve anyway!

It's sad isn't it trying to live through a child and put things like that on them pushing them to achieve the things you didn't and it's not fair to all involved either and it's a form of child abuse!

I have lost weight as well and I swear on a stack of bibles I did this for myself since those things got taken away and now feel it was a great thing when life took away those things that weren't right for me and making me ill!

Living up here there's no bullying and being ordered around like cattle and it's nice and peaceful this morning and I had a delicious lie in as planned which I enjoyed!

Tomorrow its outdoor swimming up at the lido ponty which I enjoy going to and the last one for this summer!

[Alpakka123]

I have the book "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway".

[Midori in reply to Alpakka123]

Great book. I used to have it!

Cheers, Midori

[Alpakka123]

I strongly believe that there are many blessings in disguise in life. You are so right that it hurts when in it, but once we've calmed down enough to step back is when we can possibly see it as a blessing.Your story reminds me of a metaphor I was once given. It was of people getting all lost in hedge maze. One of the guys in the maze was smart in that he had brought a ladder with him into the maze. He got so fed up with dead ends and such that he set up his ladder, climbed up, and Bingo! He could see things clearly.

[Turnipgirl in reply to Alpakka123]

Many years ago I was at swimming and had said to a lady how I was disappointed after not having got a job I had interviewed for and she said that it was that the job wasn't right for me and I wouldn't have been happy there and how not getting things you want is a blessing!

I said yes it can be a blessing when you have calmed down and thought things through!

Nowadays at one of my previous jobs looking back not having got that Taster program thing or the promoted jobs I went for there was a blessing in disguise as I would have hated them but at the time it had felt like the world had ended when I was told no!

Another friend had said to me how often when things don't happen it's a blessing in disguise and to that I said how yes you come to realise that when time has passed by and you are over the sting of the initial disappointment!

Another one is when an estate agent was unkind and wouldn't let me see a property I was interested in and at first I was devastated but now I look back and feel that by accident when she did that she stopped me from having made a big mistake as I wouldn't have been happy there!

Thursday just gone when they were making people wait 30 mins after their booked interview time as a power grab I feel was a blessing in disguise as I saw what they are like before it was too late and I was so fed up with them that I walked out of the interview and went to swimming early instead!

[Midori]

What a lovely thing to happen, and I'm glad it's given you food for thought!

I did something similar; Was feeling down, a former 'friend' was spreading scurrilous rumours about me, so I sold the house privately and moved myself, and my son to Wales! It's great, no nasty rumours following me, great neighbours.

cheers. Midori

[secrets22 in reply to Midori]

Interesting as i have considered moving to Wales.

[Midori in reply to secrets22]

I'm in a Coastal town and on the route to the ferries to Ireland. The place is fairly run down, but thick with history! The part I'm in is the newer part. We have a good selection of supermarkets, and there are local tradesmen as well. Our 'Rush Hour' is 1pm and 1am when the ferries arrive. Gets busier in Summer of course.

House prices are fair, and Autumn is a good time to be looking. There are some good bargains to be had.

Neither myself or my son drive, but there are good taxis (mainly one man bands, but get to know them and they will become great friends). There is a station, and buses are relatively frequent. The taxi drivers also tend to know all the entertainments, carnivals, what's going on etc.

If you are OK for transport, there are lovely places to go, if you like mountains, waterfalls, Beautiful beaches, historic castles, museums, etc. In the summer, parking can be a trial at some of these, but as it's September it should be easing now.

If you are into Folklore, Wales is full of it, from the Eisteddfod to the Mari Lwyd, male voice choirs, and a great deal of charities to get involved with. As you can tell, I love it here!

The pace of life is slower than in England and there's an element of Manana, if you expect things done at a certain time or day, you may be disappointed, but it will get done! If we need something done we ask a neighbour who they recommend. Usually they won't steer you wrongly because they value their reputations.

Sporting wise, my bungalow is between the local amateur football field, and a short way away is the local rugby club! There are other clubs and activities to get involved with; I'm thinking of going to Tai Chi soon, gentle smooth, low impact exercise.

[secrets22 in reply to Midori]

Hello Midori, you say life is slower, but i cant believe that with so much going on, it actually sounds just up my street, plenty to do or not to do, but many choices. The little coastal town of Clevedon where i live has a number of things to join if i was minded, but i tend to go out for a few meals instead. Unfortunately house prices here are ridiculous so i will look further afield when i decide to move.Its quite brave to step into the unknown. Did you know anyone in Wales when you decided to move.?

[Midori in reply to secrets22]

Yes, I knew one person, but I was unable to buy the bungalow she was selling as a family emergency came up so she had to drop out.

I found another one just 2 doors away. Hampshire used to be pretty manic, but even that was slower than Outer London!

Cheers, Midori

[Agora1]

secrets22 what an uplifting journey your friend Joanna experienced.

Had she not taken that first crucial step, she would never have known of

the happiness and stability she has found.

It's not in another person but within ourselves. When the time is right,

everything falls into place. I'm so happy she reached out to you when you

needed a friend. xx

[secrets22 in reply to Agora1]

Many thanks Agora.😍