Why am I like this?

[gilded_masquerade]

This might be a bit dumb but bear with me.

So my boyfriend and I were invited to a cottage out in the middle of nowhere essentially for Canada day weekend, sounds like fun right?

Right now my main thoughts are "You can't go cuz you'll freak out", "You won't really know anyone there" "There's nothing around, if something bad happens you're screwed", etc.

I hate how I'm already thinking the worst when that's another month away.

If I did go I don't want to bum anyone out or freak out the entire time but at the same time it kinda depresses me that I won't be able to or don't think I could do something like that...

I want to be able to go out and have fun, I'm in my early 20's for god sakes I should be doing just that, but instead I worry about if I panic and my health (which I'm a relatively healthy person).

I'm getting better, but I don't know if I'll be ready for that, just yet anyway...

[thatjuanguy]

It’s never easy to get out of your comfort zone and things can go bad but I find amazing things can also happen if you let them. It’s ok to be worried but you shouldn’t let it stop you from trying to have a good time. And just because you don’t know anyone just means you get a chance to know them

[pink83737]

Anxiety always makes things into something so much worse than it simply is, i think you should be fine plus it always is a huge relief after you did it, the more steps you take the better your anxiety will get, and if you have a panic attack so be it, you are learning and growing from this! hang in there everything will be okay! take some deep breaths and write it out in a journal or do some mindfulness, mindfulness has changed my life especially the app called headspace!

[gilded_masquerade]

Thank you both, I don't even know why I'm spending my time worrying about it when it's a month away to begin with.

I certainly agree with both of you, I think the main things I was thinking was that if it happened I'd be ruining this weekend getaway for all these people and that I don't know them so my first impression would be iffy...

My boyfriend said that even if I decided not to go (which I'm not obligated it was just an invite) we could practice those things and start small so I can get use to more things.

Either way, thank you for taking the time to reply, I truly appreciate it ❤️

[Hidden]

Don’t avoid things. Avoidance causes your life to shrink until you become homebound. I should know I was agoraphobic for fourteen years.

[gilded_masquerade in reply to Hidden]

This time last year I stopped leaving my house and essentially everything outside terrified me.

I'm trying to get back out there and do stuff but sometimes it's so overwhelming or just too much.

I'm doing what I can so I'll give myself that, I know it's gonna take time to get better (I guess we'll call it) but I wish sometimes it would happen a bit faster (don't we all?)

[Hidden in reply to gilded_masquerade]

Took me fourteen years. I wish it did happen sooner. But I can’t look back. Only look to the present and future.