Hello all! I'm an early-40s female that because of emotional abuse growing up a child of an alcoholic, divorce and being the scapegoat of the family, I have pushed away relationships and am currently single and never had children. I love kids, but I'm sure because of all of my disordered thinking due to past abuse, I just pushed all of that away. That's just to give some background on me but anyway, I've been reading a lot and studying, seeing a couple of therapists and praying a ton! I'm getting more in touch with myself and getting to know myself and what I really want instead of losing myself in other people, and just trying to be what they want me to be. I've never liked the area I lived in, and I'm finally realizing I need to let myself be happy and go live somewhere that lights me up and actually has an environment/activities I enjoy! Here's the issue though....I am SO completely torn about WHERE to move to and I've gotten myself into a complete mental tizzy about this. I have narrowed it down to 2 cities, one in the Northeast which would be only a 3 hour drive from family, and the other is down in FL which of course is MUCH farther from family. Both are by the ocean BUT one is so much farther away which TERRIFIES me. So basically, I am in complete mental torment about this decision and it's completely torturing me and causing me so much anxiety and frustration. Why the heck can't I just let myself be happy?? Why do decisions for other people seem like they come so easy and they seem to just easily pick something and stick to it?? Can anyone relate to this? Any advice anyone could give would be hugely appreciated. Thank you!