Do your parents trigger your depression or anxiety?

[JadeRaye]

Today was a good day. Even though we are flat out broke until my husband gets paid in 3 days we had a nice day. We took my son for a long stroller ride and it was just really nice to take such a long walk. Back to the question, I love my parents I really do. But I can't help when they call me which is everyday sometimes several times a day (my mom

Not my dad) that talking to them makes me really depressed or anxious. This is especially true whenever I talk to my mom , I wouldn't say my dad triggers these emotions . I would say I'm actually happy to talk to my dad most of the time . But my mom...I feel like I'm her unofficial therapist. She calls me when she's depressed mostly and her mood brings me down and can ruin my whole day. I always try to sound happy and up beat but I don't always want to play therapist , especially several times a day. It's draining ...I can't help but feel like a child when I talk to her , I definitely don't feel 27 years old. And I wish she would just let me live my life and feel like an adult . It seems she calls me to check in on me , well that's the way it feels . And I feel

Like I always have to watch what I say because she takes everything so personal and sometimes it's not worth the stress of disagreeing with her ...I love her but I need space ...ah does anyone have any experience in this?

[Lu2356]

I had the same experience with my mom and I flat out told her that I cannot handle her issues and my own. This is me at 39. A lot of my childhood was rough and she is aware of it, but I have told her that I am a therapist or counselor. I have my own anxiety and depression to deal with. It’s setting boundaries and we are adults now. We owe to ourselves to take care of own mind, body, and soul. ❤️

[JadeRaye in reply to Lu2356]

I know I need to do this but I feel so guilty ! I know I'm the only one she really has to talk to so I feel like if I tell her this she will hate me . And then I will feel more anxious and depressed because of the guilit. But I know if I continue to let this go on , I'm going to just drain away..maybe when I'm alittle older I'll have more strength to tell her straight up. And thank you for your response ! It's nice to know I'm not the only one dealing with this .

[Hidden]

I sure have but because of this I've become a good listener to many people. People always come and vent not just my mom anymore..😂😂

[JadeRaye in reply to Hidden]

I don't mind listening and giving advice maybe once a day...but several times a day is just draining ...I have my own issues , depression and anxiety and I feel like I can barely take care of myself and my family , let alone now my grown mother . But I love her and I could never tell her not to call me .

[Hidden in reply to JadeRaye]

I understand and I think you can't fix other people. Fix yourself instead people are never satisfied I think

[Xene]

Hi JadeRaye, I use to bang on to my daughter about how ill I felt all the time whenever she rang me and then one day she told me it really got her down as she couldn't do anything to help with my pain and suffering and she'd rather not hear about it! I felt really hurt but after I gave it some thought I could understand what she meant so I quit talking about how I was feeling. Your mum does sound a bit more needy if she's ringing you all the time but you should try and find a way of telling her how it makes you feel. Good luck.

[TickingClock]

Wow, this hit close to home. this is actually the first day i joined and you are my first reply.

I feel the same way with my mother, though she lives with me now due to her sister kicking her out of the house. My mom has been hospitalized with Suicide/Depression for a month after my father passed away. She has always called me her best friend - since i can remember actually, and i remember at one point of my life i told myself i didnt want a BF, i wanted a mother... i think i was only 9 or 10 years old at that time.

my parents fought a lot, always about money and my fathers abuse with alcohol. i was always her back bone, getting her to get out of bed in the mornings, letting her cry to me about her problems and trying to find a way to solve them. this has never changed - i am now 30 years old.

i moved out at 18 years old - like i had always told her i would and she moved to another state as soon as my father passed. the phone calls were daily - nothing but her problems - how everyone was "out to get her" nobody loved her or was there for her, so on and so on. the calls were always depressing and bleak and many times i cringed when my phone rang thinking it was her calling...

after a few years - i moved to her thinking she would be very much needed help after having a baby and my fiance and were facing major debt and financial issues. All went downhill from there.

she eventually got kicked out of her house living with her sister and with her depression and disability - she had no where to go except the streets. i wasn't going to let my mom live in the streets, so i brought her to my 1 bedroom apartment with my son and fiance. living with her has brought me to the brink of wanting to pack a bag and never come back.

she has a mentality that everyone and everything is out to get her, she is always in "pain" both physically and mentally, always "sick" with some kind of cold and everything always hurts - especially if one of us actually catches a cold - she surprisingly gets the same cold within hours but WAY worse symptoms, and just basically have to walk eggshells around her - as she takes offense to EVERYTHING - even though this is MY HOME.

the worst thing is she is with my kid most of the day, so now my child is feeding off of a bad depressed and bipolar disorder which my fiance and i are starting to notice now... =(

im sorry this was such a long response - i have just never really expressed how i feel about my mother - i can literally go on for hours on how she is - she complains about everything - but after writing this post i fear that i am becoming her - as i am complaining about her and the fact that i can go on for hours doing it - now im depressed... =(