Girlfriend

[Saph_Heart]

My anxiety levels have been increasing the past few weeks and I think it's mainly because of my girlfriend, even though she's amazing. The reason why I think this is because I've been having...difficulty...with my gender identity. I am a girl, I know this. But I don't want to be called a girl. And I told my girlfriend this and now she thinks I'm going to change everything about myself even though I told her I've been thinking this for about a year and a half. I don't know what to do but every time she goes to call me "babygirl" she hesitates and just says "baby". I love my pet names and I love her but I don't know what I should do.

[hypercat54]

Don't know what you should do about what? Leaving your gf? Seeking gender reassignment? I think she is being very thoughtful calling you that rather than babygirl - don't you? It shows she listens and cares about your feelings. x

[thatjuanguy]

The most important question is do you plan on changing? Because if so and she’s attracted to girls don’t you see how that could be a problem. It’s definitely a conversation worth having with her and a fair question for her to have.

[Stilltrying_]

This is tricky. A lot of people (women) who have changed gender to male have now decided they want to change back again (loads of stuff about this online). I am wondering if it's something in your past that makes you not like being a girl? I have some experience with this as I went out with two transgender people. The first one I believe wanted to change gender because she was abused by her own father and something happened to her personality to make her want to identify with the abuser and not the victim. I am not saying this is the case in your case but it is definately something which is undereported and there is a massive increase in people wanting to change gender at the moment as well but when they do it isn't like they thought it would be.

The other lady had changed to male and then back again but not good as the voice drops and she was forever being taken as male when she had changed back. She ended up feeling like a freak.

This needs some serious thinking and counselling, and as others have said though some partners do support their other halves transitioning you have to realise that your girlfriend is attracted to you because you are female. I found I was unable to accept my ex when she finally had the breast surgery done. I still feel she transitioned for all the wrong reasons which is why I would ask you to take your time over this very important issue.

Also to be fair having read your previous posts I would say that are confused over a number of things at the moment and your life sounds chaotic so don't make any rash decisions over anything would be my advice.

Gemma xx