I'm New here

[mersh]

Hi I'm new here and I just want to say that I hope this can really help me. i have been bullied for 9 years and most of the time people I trust turn out to be backstabbers. i constantly feel alone and that none of my friends are my friends. A few years back I attempted suicide because I couldn't take it anymore. I'm still trying to get over it. Please help me, I want to be able to start trusting people and not a hide behind my fake smile.

[gilded_masquerade]

I hear you, people these days can be cruel, but that doesn't mean everyone will be like them. I think that's something that's just so important to keep in mind. The real friends will be there for you regardless of what's going on in your lives, if not then that just tells you that they're not good friends.

I understand entirely how hard it can be to trust people, I know. But if you can find just one person, one who can be there to help and support you then I think that's the first step in overcoming the fraudulence.

Whenever I go out in public I worry so much about what people would do if something bad were to happen, honestly I would like to think most of them would do what they can to help.

Whoever tarnished your perception of people are cruel, but don't let them ruin your relationships with people.

You're strong and brace for wanting to share such a personal part of your life, maybe if you can't find someone to talk to in your life, maybe someone or a bunch of people here can

Stay strong ❤️

[Hidden]

I've been bullied too. If I can make it than you can too! Don't let it get you down

[Rpan]

For me it’s all about expectations. It’s sounds as though you are much younger than me, so I’m trying to think back about how I dealt with others years ago. I often put people on a pedestal, it was more like I gave some my trust without really knowing them. Relationships take time build, give yourself time to really know someone before you give them your trust, this just means have fun but don’t have a heart to heart with someone who isn’t worthy of this kind of relationship.

[hypercat54]

Hi I have a history of being bullied too throughout my life and haven't a clue why. Well I have since a friend told me (nicely) that I give the impression of here I am please don't hurt me. I can't help it so I have learnt to deal with it. I am too old to change for others and wouldn't anyway as I am an open friendly person with a good personality.

I think some people can spot ones they can bully a mile off and make a beeline for them. The last time it happened to me was in a job where the supervisor bullied me. It was me around 60% of the time but she did share it out with a couple of others. I did keep records and reported it to her manager when she hauled me into an room and shouted and yelled at me. Her manager mediated so we could talk but she totally denied how she behaved and what she had said. I could tell her manager believed me though. It helped for a while then it all started again. This time I went off sick and she promptly picked on someone else who also went off sick. She was moved away from a line manager position but after a couple of years was back as one! This was in the civil service too....

As far as friends go true ones wouldn't bully you. It can take a lot of time to make one true friend so maybe take it more slowly. Do things like tell them something about you which is not generally known then wait and see if it comes back to you. If it does then drop that person from your friend list as they can't be trusted. See if they treat you well and listen as well as talk to you etc. If they are there for you when you really need them etc. too. Any warning signs listen to them.

Being bullied is awful isn't it but there are steps you can take to protect yourself a bit in work and your private life. x