So last time I was there, I left on a bad note. Don’t know if it’s bc my counselor picked at my emotional scab or bc she didn’t offer support after giving me her opinion. Granted, it was her opinion but it resonated with me up until today. I have acted negatively towards people in the past. I have been trying my best not to be that person again. Lord knows how much I pray. I realize that my getting molested will always be a part of my life.
I know for a fact that has caused a lot of my anxiety and unhappiness.
I woke up thinking about this and the impact it has on my life up until now. I say and forgive with my heart, but my mind gets in “defense mode” telling me I have to do more. More in the sense that I should confront him, but think it will be pointless. Pointless bc it happened about 30 years ago and who knows if he will even admit to having done it.... I have a really hard time trusting people. Today I felt the need to be open to all of you about this bc I know some of you have experienced this and know that ur not alone. I feel your pain. I know about the nights of ruminating on how to be better and thinking ur a failure. Well guest what NONE of us are failures! What happened is very unfortunate but we are still here, with purpose. And sometimes we struggle to find that purpose. For now, be grateful that are learning and moving forward, even if it’s in the tiniest of steps. If u feel stuck, rethink about ur life and what u can do to make it better. Small things. I hope and pray that ur able to open up and look to the sky and know that I don’t know you, but love you for being strong... for surviving, for being a warrior. It was NEVER your fault. God bless! 🙏💕❤️