Hey everyone
Sometimes I wish I was someone else. I know not everyones life is perfect. But sometimes I just wanna have a break from me. I have low self-esteem and confidence and everytime It goes up a little bit its like I find a way to knock it back down again. You'd think after being rejected like a bijillion times maybe it wouldn't effect me as much but it still effects me just the same. It just adds to my depression.
Tomorrow is a new day! Hope everyone's sunday has been a better one.
Hi, Michael! I know what you mean. I get sad sometimes on how life's cards have been dealt. There are a lot of regrets and things I could have done instead. Maybe a different path.
I hate feeling rejected as well. Like the story about being in love with my best friend. Sometimes I wish I could go back to not being attracted to anyone. My life was simpler. Relationships are hard.
Even though I met a lot of other men, I could only feel for my best friend. So being rejected by him felt like an ultimate rejection.
So, I got tired of feeling that way, I moved and didn't tell him where I was going.
You can always reinvent yourself. Counteract your low self esteem with positive thinking.
I found a book at the thrift store called When Panic Attacks. It has helpful Cognitive Behavior therapy exercises. I recommend looking into CBT exercises because it has real strategies to implement.
There is a lot in my life that I am sad about but then I try to look at the positive. For example, you might be single, on a positive note it that allows you certain freedom. You can travel. You can invest in yourself.
I decided not to have children because I didn't want my child to suffer from inheriting my mental illness. I get sad sometimes. But I look on the bright side and say,"Well at least I have a cute wardrobe and I can travel." I know shallow but it's all I got. I know I can't handle my anxiety and raising a family. So, just find things that will help you feel content.
Eventually when I own my own place. Maybe I could get a cute dog.
You can reinvent yourself everyday. You don't have to stay like that. What do you want to change?
Stay positive my friend.
Have a great week! Hugs and healing
😻 Ayla-Kat
Hi Ayla-Kat
Your exactly right with the excersizes. I have a book that has a section on relationship stuff. Just haven't gotten to that part yet.
Certain aspects of being single I enjoy. I do miss some aspects of being in a relationship as well. It would be easier if i had friends to hang out with. It's not easy for me to make friends. It certainly hurts being rejected by your best friend that you had feelings for. We are alike in that regard. At my age any one I were to meet seems to already have kids or passed the point of wanting kids. I've become okay to not having kids myself. The world just seems to be getring scarier and scarier from when I was a kid and I wouldn't want to bring someone up in this world right now.
Pets are great id love to get a dog one day myself. Maybe a black lab like I had when I was a kid. And a bunny rabbit or 2! What kind of dog would you get?
Thank you my friend. I'm certainly gonna try and stay positive. I've gotta find ways to just keep building up my self-esteemand confidence and not find ways to derail it. Or way till I build it up to a high level and then it takes longer to come down.
Thanks. Hope you have a great week as Well! Hugs healing back to you!
Hi, Michael. I like your idea of building up your self esteem so high that it's hard to come down. When you are confident than others can't bring you down.
I grew up and never got my emotional needs met. I have low self esteem as well. But I am learning to nurture and take care of my needs. I need to be the adult in my life.
What activities do you want to do? What are you interested in?
I don't have friends either. But, I don't think I need them now. I'd like to work on my issues first.
How great to have a black lab. I had one as a child as well.my dogs name was Doobie. The previous owners named him. Not until I was older that I knew what a Doobie was. 😆I thought he was like Scooby Doobie Doo.They are sweet dogs.
Lately I've been looking or at French Bulldogs and Pugs. They are so cute and chubby.But I don't think I'll pay for one. They are really expensive and I'm sure there are cute dogs I can adopt from the scpa.
For now I'm into little pleasures like comfortable clothes, yummy food, my rock and crystal collection.
What are the things that you are interested in? What are you grateful for?
I hope you find things that make you happy.
😻 Ayla-Kat
Good evening Ayla-Kat
You ask alot of good questions. I saw my therapist today and were working on getting me unstuck from what I've wanted to do my whole life but can't. So that I can move forward. Talking about that has helped alot. I feel like it's finally something that I can drop and move on from.
Onto the questions that you asked like what I'm interested in and activities are things that I really gotta think of now. I'm just trying to focus on one problem and try and tackle that one first.
Black labs are great dogs. Lol doobie! That's really not a bad dogs name. I'd think Scooby doo too!! My old roommates wife had a pug. He was a good dog. I think pugs are cool. I totally agree I would adopt before buying too. With any pet I'd think to do that first. One day hopefully!!
How was your day?
Good evening, Michael! I'm so glad that you are opening up to your therapist. You are on the right track. It sounds like you have a particular issue that you want to address. It's so good that you can pinpoint it. I hope you find good strategies with your therapist to deal with it. Maybe you will find something that clicks with you. Bottling it up only makes you fester inside.
I hope you have a good week. I am here to listen, and support my friend.
😻 Ayla-Kat
Thank you Ayla-Kat! 
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