Someone help

[nicetry]

I have fallen into a deep dark hole. Since yday afternoon, I’ve been crying — like, BAD crying — and I believe that my suffering is my fault. I’ve tried self-care stuff but afterwards I just start crying again. I want to die but can’t bc I don’t want to hurt my husband. Somehow that makes me feel even worse — I have NO options. I can’t stop crying.

[Chanshan]

Crying is routine for all of us. My suggestion is cry out load for sometime and then stop. I know these things easier said than done I was crying for 6 weeks but slowly I am coming out it. So all of us will find light at end of the tunnel and also enter tunnel again. We don't have choice. Do we? So just hang around and try to manage the pain. It is not your fault. Most of the time it is what is going on our head and that demon in the head makes things messier.

We just need to live and try to control.

[Agora1]

nicetry, as "Chanshan" suggested, go ahead and cry. It not only lets out the

built up emotions but our tears bring down our cortisol levels. Do some breathing

between the bouts of crying. This too shall pass. I cried daily for 5 years and one

day it just stopped. My fears, my anxiety were depleted. Nature has a reason we do

things. Trust in your body. It's going to be okay xx

[mjcll41]

Wanting to die is no joke. Call 911.

[nicetry in reply to mjcll41]

Thank you for your concern mjcll41. I’m not at that point. I have been in the past, but now I just feel completely defeated and deflated.

[hurtingheart1]

I’m so sorry I feel in a very bad place myself crying a lot as well- I feel like I knw why though- but it’s like a hopeless feeling without much control to fix it! I feel for you and if you don’t mind me asking do you know if there’s something that starts this or triggers it getting so bad for you??

[nicetry in reply to hurtingheart1]

Hurtingheart1, this latest was triggered by a lost job opp that hit me totally out of the blue. Long story. But fact is, I’ve been feeling like shit for months. Any little thing would’ve touched me off probably. I get what you all are saying about letting it out — boy am I ever — I just feel like “well, this is my life now” and it’s never going to change.

[hurtingheart1 in reply to nicetry]

Thank you for sharing - I really do hope something can help and get you through the rough time to reach a happier place!!!💞🌻

[staggent]

I can understand and relate to the thoughts of “this is my life” and that really terrifies me. I used to really feel that I was a strong person but the thought of carrying on in this depression really makes me not want to carry on at all anymore

[nicetry in reply to staggent]

I’m sorry you’re going through it too. I think we’re strong because we’ve made it to this point — this is prob my third or fourth depressive episode — but it’s hard to accept when you’re as depressed as we are.

[staggent]

It really is. What happens when you “make it through?” It ends up dragging you down again? I’ve been feeling this way for close to a month now and I’m wondering when/if it will end? I’ve never experienced this before

[nicetry in reply to staggent]

I hate that I can’t know when a depressive episode will end. No one can tell you that. Heck, no one can tell you whether it’ll happen again. I’m trying desperately to ride the waves. Not working so great.

[staggent]

Well stay strong. Like you said, if we made it this far, we can keep on trucking

[staggent]

When it does end, do you feel back to your “old self?”

[nicetry in reply to staggent]

I’m not really sure who my “old self” is. But I do feel more “normal”, able to laugh at stuff and have fun, go out, etc.