Post Break Up

[ec1795]

I went through my first break up about 6 months ago. My ex and I decided to remain as friends. We contact each other on a near daily basis. But whenever he stops contacting me, I start to over analyze the situation (like is he seeing someone else?). Since the breakup, I been waking up to panic attacks in the middle of the night - especially on days where he doesn't contact me. I don't know why I feel this way since we are just friends. Anyone went through something similar and can provide any advice? Thank you!

[fauxartist]

Hi ec1795....glad your sharing.... and wanted to maybe run something by you.... if you break up with someone,...that does mean you are opening up to other relationships possibly. I think your fear of loosing your friend might be something you want to talk to your ex- about. And you may want to start doing some things to break up the daily need for contact, start other friendships, doing other activities that don't involve your ex-. Eventually one or the other of you will develop a relationship with someone else. You want to mind your heart around this, and fear of being alone often keeps us hanging onto things longer than most would...but it's just how some of us are....group therapy helped me.

[ec1795 in reply to fauxartist]

Thanks for the response! I agree with you. I think I'm still in the denial stage since he still contacts me so often. I'll definitely try the things you suggested. Really appreciate your advice.

[hb_kenzie]

I went through a very similar situation a couple years ago. I am currently in a new and frankly much better relationship now, but back when I first broke up with my ex, we tried to be just friends. That didn’t work out well at all because we still had feelings for each other, but at the same time, I wanted to be able to move on and not feel trapped in a situation that I felt like wouldn’t ever change. So my suggestion to you is, and I know this is going to be really really hard to do, break everything off even the friendship so that you can officially begin the process of moving on.

[ec1795 in reply to hb_kenzie]

I have been thinking about breaking everything off. I think I just needed to hear that from someone else. Did you guys have a conversation about it? or did you just decide to end the relationship completely? Thank you for being honest with me.

[hb_kenzie in reply to ec1795]

Of course. That’s what I’m here for I feel like we did try to have conversations about it, but then we ended up barely talking at all because all we would do is fight... then when I eventually starting to talk to other people and try to explain to her that I wanted to move on, she erupted and then that’s when all communication stopped.