Break up: My boyfriend of four years... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Break up

Dandelion_45 profile image
15 Replies

My boyfriend of four years just broke up with me and I feel so helpless and lost but I know he broke up with me partially because of how I can’t handle my stress and anxiety. It hurts so much. I miss him so much. I’m trying to think positive about things like it’ll give me time to work on myself but I didn’t only lose a boyfriend I lost my best friend and it’s my fault that’s what hurts the most

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Dandelion_45 profile image
Dandelion_45
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15 Replies
Rpan profile image
Rpan

I’m breaking up with you, because of you, is not acceptable. It’s also not true. Your boyfriend broke up with you because there an a issue within him that he refuses to deal with so he choose to end the relationship. This choice was his and not because of you. Don’t think anything different, it’s just not true. He may have told you this but this is just an excuse..

Dandelion_45 profile image
Dandelion_45 in reply to Rpan

Thank you yeah I feel like he needs to work on his self and same with me then maybe when we’re both in a better mental state it’ll work

thatjuanguy profile image
thatjuanguy

It’s not your fault you did not ask for mental health issues most “normal” people just aren’t built to understand us they can’t see it so they don’t believe it. I wish I could say things will get better but I’m still hurt from something that happened 8 years ago but we can try to make every day better for ourselves so maybe we can find a smile even if only for a minute. Remember don’t put this on you it’s not your fault things happen it’s just how it is we can fall and lay on the floor or we can get up and keep pushing forward the decision is yours.

Dandelion_45 profile image
Dandelion_45 in reply to thatjuanguy

Thank you for understanding i

I agree with the previous 2 replies. Don’t place all the blame on yourself. I can assure you that something better awaits you! Take this time to focus on helping yourself and you’ll be ready when something better comes along! Sending you hugs!!

Dandelion_45 profile image
Dandelion_45 in reply to

Thank you so much i appreciate it

in reply to Dandelion_45

Anytime 🙂

Tedddy profile image
Tedddy

This is so hard. It's so hard to see when you're in the shock of it, but this can be a good thing for you in the long run. You deserve someone who understands you and is more empathetic about your anxiety and your struggles. You will find that you're stronger than you think! Hugs

Dandelion_45 profile image
Dandelion_45 in reply to Tedddy

Thank you I’m trying to be mentally strong and believe in myself more I’m so grateful for all the kind words

Orangeblossom85 profile image
Orangeblossom85

Here I am - I was also left after four years. It’s gonna be a year in two weeks. If you would like to talk - feel invited!

I’m sorry this happened. That’s an extremely hard thing to deal with. I agree with everyone else, do not put this on you. He shouldn’t have ever said that. If he was the one for you truly, he would’ve never given up on you. Especially after such a long time. Take this time to heal yourself & always know you have people here to talk to. <3 You deserve someone that loves you through this. You will find him when the time is right. I wish you peace in the days to come. <3

Dandelion_45 profile image
Dandelion_45 in reply to

Thank you for the kind words

MrZee profile image
MrZee

Hello D45,

Was he really your “best friend?” My understanding is that a true friend is someone who lets you be yourself.

I have a hubby and a best friend. He knows about my depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, etc. He doesn’t judge me for it, nor does he scold me. And we’ve been together for 23 years. It hasn’t been easy, but we have an understanding of each other.

The breakup with your boyfriend hurts, I know. It’s painful. And it’s a loss. But again was he “really” your friend if he ended up not putting up with who you truly are?

For now let yourself feel the pain of the loss. That’s part of the grieving process. Along with this site, perhaps a grief group would be tremendous support for you as you go through your separation process.

Best wishes,

MZ

Dandelion_45 profile image
Dandelion_45 in reply to MrZee

Thank you I will reflect on your words and try my best to move forward

Priya6 profile image
Priya6

Hi there, am so sorry to hear about this. I know how you must be feeling but, believe me, it will get better. I hope you have lots of friends around who can support you at this time. Do message whenever you feel like. Lots of love

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