Disappointed

[Katrina20]

I don't even know what to say, i talked to my boyfriend yesterday and i thought he was going to call me back so we can talk about our relationship i am fighting so hard to keep it. But he didnt call and i know he knows how important this is to me. He has a lot of things going on in his life and he himself does not ask for help, and im a helper. We are 20 years apart. I am trying so hard to communicate but he won't talk.so i was hoping he would call me back but he didn't. But be won't break up with me either. I dont get it. I love him so, and i feel like i am giving up on him because i tell him im done with our communication issues but he just shuts down. I know two people have to fight for it and love isn't our problem. I want to kick and scream at him. I believe in him and have faith in him and i tell him to. He is dealing with a daughter who is 16 and going through many issue like we all are on here. He has a twin who is going through a nasty divorce and wants all of my boyfriend's time even makes him geel guilty when he spends time with me. He has been living out of state since feb. So i see him maybe once a month. And while he was away he hit a kid a on a bike and passed away a week later. So he is dealing with legal matters there. But why am i the one that gets the curb. I know he would never treat his sister or kids this way if anything he enables them. But, i get the silent treatment, the back burner and no respect. Im giving all i can to him, i have never been in love like this before and last week i thought we had a break through and he saw where i was coming from. And asked him because i have found he has come back to this state and didn't tell me that to please don't do it again, but three days ago he cane back and didn't tell me and from what i gather he said that after him telling me he was coming back my next question would be when can i see you and im guessing i wouldn't. And he didn't want to deal with that. Lately a lot of people have been dying around me and all i want to do is pull him closer, because each day could be our last. i feel gulity as maybe im putting to much pressure on him, but i have given him outs to end our relationship and he doesn't take them. I just don't get it, i even asked him why he can't treat me like a human being. Sorry i didn't me for this to be so long. I just don't know what i did wrong, where i went wrong and why all of a sudden i am so worthless to him. I am trying to be strong but i feel so sick inside and a failure yet i have given it my all, still am and knowing that im not worth it to him anymore makes me feel physically sick. I just want us to sit and talk but i can't even get that. Im so embarassed that someone who said i was the love of his life won't even answer the phone when i call. I honestly want to rip my heart out, as i trusted him not to hurt me and he has stuck a dagger in me.

[tamka38]

Sorry to hear that hope things get better for u but it takes 2 people to make a relationship work

[Katrina20 in reply to tamka38]

Thank you, and i know i just feel like it's my fault for giving up

[tamka38 in reply to Katrina20]

Is not your fault I been with my bf for 17 years on and off and he’s 10 years older than me am alcoholics and been sober for. 3 days he day daily but don’t think he have a problem am tried of because when I was super depressed he was cheating on me and when I got better he still was cheating on me with different woman’s and even left me alone to be with them and every time I took him back and forgive him but now since am working on my inner self and working on putting God first and me next I don’t want him to be part of that because he the one that causes so much pain for me and he’s a negative person and I don’t need it no more in my life I learn once we find something we love besides a man we fall in love with it when the time it right a real man will find u

[CazO46]

Hi, it sounds like you both have lots going on in your lives which is putting pressure on your relationship. It's hard for both of you to have the energy to work through these challenges, your partner must be feeling terrible about the accident. People have different ways of dealing with their problems, he maybe shuts down rather than opens up.

Take care and I really hope you can work things out X

[hypercat54]

H how can it be your fault? Please don't take this mans problems on and make them your own. For your own sanity you have to detach yourself a bit.

I bet his family have made boundaries with him and enforced them which is why he treats them so much better. He knows he can do and say anything to you so he does.

I know you really love him but if was you I would leave him alone until he contacts you. Give him some space and use it to get your head together. Also lay some boundaries down with him. x

[fauxartist]

Katrina..I'm sorry your hurting, but there's a few cold hard facts you might want to take into consideration....it's said that if you have to work at something too hard it wasn't meant to be, another thing is...he's dealing with his 16 year old daughter and her issues, an overbearing twin, and he just hit and killed somebody....not much time or energy there for anything or anyone else....I'd give him and yourself a break. Your expecting and wanting what he just does not have to give to you right now, his book is full....and because you want to be the focal point of his interests, right now you just cannot be. He has to have time to sort his immediate family out and I'm sure a very daunting court case....if you care for him...give him some space not ultimatums, and say your supporting him with what ever he has to go through, and "If' he wants to talk to you about any of it you can listen without being demanding...otherwise...I would move on from this relationship....

[Katrina20]

Thank you everyone, i very much support him and i will give him space.