Sad day: One of closest friends of 3... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Sad day

Mumma_h
Mumma_h

One of closest friends of 33 years has ended our friendship, I'm there for him always when he has nowhere to live, I've looked after his son and dog too and have never turned my back on him. I confronted him when he was being really rude to me and he was clearly very angry at me and won't tell me why , when I got mad at him he ended friendship. Found out when I was on holiday for 12 days and was supposed to house sit he didn't stay here , just took my car for the whole time, barely fed my pets , yet claimed he had nowhere to stay . Despite all this we've had such good times and love hanging out with him soooo much . So sad , I will miss him a lot

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It's very sad to lose a long term friend isn't it? Maybe he will think again when he has cooled down? I have sadly had it happen to me too but this was my decision. x

Mumma_h
Mumma_h in reply to hypercat54

Thankyou!!!❤️ Feeling pretty awful about it , very down on myself and feel guilty. Feel like he dosnt care about me as I much as I have for him and it affects my mind, and I must look after my mental health because I have a family I need to take care of .Hurts but I feel very used, he dosnt seem to care at all about my depression but I'm always there for him for anything he needs, but dosnt say anything to lift me up when I'm depressed. If he can end the friendship then I obviously don't mean much to him

hypercat54
hypercat54 in reply to Mumma_h

Well if you have always been there for him but not the other way round he doesn't sound like a very good friend anyway! He sounds like a user to me and we all need and deserve friends who are there for us too. Maybe now he is out of your life you will have time to find mutually supportive friends? There are plenty more fish in the sea you know and some lovely folk out there who will want to be friends with you I'm sure as you sound like such a lovely caring person. My advice is to get yourself out there and make some new friends.

When I moved to my current area 22 years ago I was lucky enough to make 3 friends and over the years we did a lot together, from pubbing to going out for days, and uncounted girlie nights where we shared everything and did everything together. Then one of them moved and the other two drifted away and moved on. It took me ages to accept it and I was very hurt and upset for ages. I have now made new friends who are now old friends and spend my time with these lovely people.

You will too you know but you will go through a grieving process as it's a bit akin to a death in a way. So mourn your lost friend then pick yourself up and carry on. x

Mumma_h
Mumma_h in reply to hypercat54

Thankyou sooooo much, I can make new close friends again , Thankyou for giving me hope. I feel terrible though, I really said some awful things to him when he dumped me as a friend, all true things but shouldn't have said them. I was so hurt by his actions, I trusted him and to not feed my pets made me furious! Thankyou for your support and kindness, means a lot !! Hope you have a great day ❤️

It’s awful when you miss somebody and still want them, even when you know they haven’t been good to you.

Mumma_h
Mumma_h in reply to Kat63

It's a horrible feeling , but if dosnt want to repair the friendship then that tells me i don't mean a lot to him ; so it's time to let go 😘

I am so sorry to hear this about your friendship. I think we all have been in your situation. First thing is know that you were an exceptionally great friend and forgive yourself. We all are human and come to a breaking point sometimes and a real friend will accept you on your good and bad days. My mom has always told me that when you have 1 good friend in your lifetime that is so loyal as you were to him, and a friend that will be there for you no matter what, that we are blessed. He was blessed to have you as a friend. Have you told him that you are sorry? If you have and he doesn't forgive you, that is his decision, however, he will come around. He will find out that you are the best friend he will ever have. Thoughts to you my friend.

Mumma_h
Mumma_h in reply to terriltwin2

Thankyou so much, I needed to hear that , I feel so much better! I did say sorry, because I really am, but he dosnt want to be friends and he doesn't care about me like I do about him , and I'm accepting it. I wish I had of spoken up earlier and been a little stronger with him when I felt so used and when he would make horrible remarks to me , then maybe I'd still have him. But I was so scared to lose him and in the end I did anyway. I hope oneday hel miss me too,so we can talk about it, get past it and be friends again , Thankyou for your kind words 😃❤️

I want to encourage you to know that you are a great person and friend. I know you wish you had spoken up earlier, but remember there is ALWAYS a reason things happen when they do. The timing of this is God's timing and he has plans for the friendship. He knows what we need when we need it. I am praying for you and your friend. Things do happen for a reason and you being the good person you are, God has your back and there is a reason for this. There have been so many times in my life that I had disappointment and hurt and brokenness over friendships and relationships and later on I knew that it all happened for a purpose with time and space I came to understand why it happened. There maybe something God is protecting you from or there may be a decision you may have had to make at a later time about your friendship that was difficult. You will see good come out of all of this.

Actually I think you're right there. I went to church because I wasn't home with him,and my beautiful amazing friends there welcomed me with open arms and are helping me with my very low self esteem. If this didn't happen I'd be sitting in the garage with my old friend drinking to cheer me up. Not healthy for my depression 😍

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