Death and betrayal

[lisaobisa]

My father died recently. I have discovered that my sister has been writing nasty, dishonest, hurtful letters to my father for years -- that I am a prostitute, drug addict, frequently in jail, blah blah. My father was very physically and emotionally abusive. My sister tells me I imagined it, I am crazy, it never happened. I know it did. I have had this feeling in my gut for many years. My sister is not my friend. She refuses to face the truth. I want to walk away from this stranger, my sister, forever

[jkl5500]

I'm unclear on something. Did you discover actual proof that your sister wrote those letters, or do you just feel more certain that she did?

[lisaobisa in reply to jkl5500]

Yes. Found dozens of them over a decade

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry for what your going through with your sister, and you must have very mixed and confusing feelings around your fathers death. Just because someone is a family member does not mean we have to accept their behavior, and what it sounds like to me is that your sister seriously has severe denial and possibly was abused by your father as well and he may have convinced her it never happened, and in her head she just went off somewhere else with feeling she had to somehow try and destroy the truth. And maybe you represented the truth of what happened and she just cannot accept it.

Your abuse is absolutely validated and you certainly have every right to leave your sister completely alone till she accepts her own stuff or whatever she decides to do, but either way...I would not put yourself in harms way. You however should also probably want to start some therapy to deal with your loss and abuse if you already are not. It's to much to sort out by yourself, take it from me on that one, I didn't do so well on my own without help.

[HearYou]

A blunt answer is to back away until you know what you want differently....your sister to explain the letters, to turn her denial into reality about your father's behavior, or the mixed feelings you must have about your father's death.xx

[gogogirl]

If that is what you have to do- then do so. Sorry about what happened with your dad.

[Hidden]

I had to walk away from my sister after my mom past 29 years ago, she did some really nasty things to me. Sometimes you have to wonder why? Perhaps jealousy? I wish for you peace! XXX