The death of my friend...

A few years ago I lost my best friend (who was like my sister) to a drug overdose. Thinking about her being gone hits me pretty hard sometimes. She was such a cool lively person who was full of energy and was silly and goofy ☺💜 There are times that I wish it was me that was gone... I feel like the wrong person died. It should have been me. Me, the hopeless chick who is a complete and total mess. I hate to say that, but it's what I feel. Ill keep pushing forward and try to be positive, but it's hard 😔 it's hard when you hurt.

[Hidden]

Hi Elliot

Just wanted to say ..'I m so sorry to hear about your friend.

It's no wonder it hits you hard, it must be devastating for you

Would you feel you could speak to a bereavement counsellor about it.

I know it helps me to write things down, I hope it helps coming here.

With all good wishes to you xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I should be in counselling. I definitely need to share my feelings, for sure. I've never had good experiences in therapy, but I'm always willing to try more. Never know

[MAVR]

Hi. I just felt that I needed to share my story with you. I lost a daughter just over 3 years ago. She had such severe migraines. She was prescribed pain killers. But sometimes the pain was so bad that she would end up at the ER, at least once a month. One day she took to many of those pain killers & overdosed. I believe it was accidental because she was such a happy person when she was feeling well. She was only 21. I feel how you feel sometimes. Her passing completely & forever broke my heart in more ways than I can explain.

[Hidden in reply to MAVR]

So sorry to hear this mavr.

Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes me too. I don't know how you cope with the loss of a child.

[Hidden in reply to MAVR]

I'm so sorry! I had a severe problem with medications. It's a hard thing to quit, luckily I can say that I am now sober. I can't even tell you how sorry I am. My friends mom was completely devastated! Of course. The people we love are still with us 💜 even through death. Your daughter is with you everyday, just as my friend is 💚 thank you for sharing your story with me 🙂

[MAVR in reply to Hidden]

Thank u for replying. I have never done this before. I have always helped or tried to help friends with things like this. I just recently broke down & tried getting support for my depression from a couple of them. All I got was "it'll get better", nothing else. That made me feel even worse. These people that I listened to & offered all my support to, when they needed it, weren't really interested in hearing me. It took me so long to let them know how I felt & apparently I was right to do so. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to trust with this anymore. I only cry when I'm by myself & I don't try reaching out to anyone anymore to just hear "it'll be ok". I'm guessing most of us on this site are reaching out to strangers cuz people who claim to be there for us, really aren't. I really thank u for ur reply.

[Hidden in reply to MAVR]

Unfortunately people don't truly understand how we feel. Or they just can't relate. We are all different, we all handle things differently. People can be very selfish, it's not fair. I'm sorry that the people you thought would listen, gave you the typical response. It's ok to feel how you feel! The tragedy is it's hard to find support. Someone saying something like "It'll get better" is nice and all, but it's not helpful. I'm sure you want more compassion, to feel like your feelings are legitimate and to feel like you are cared for. It's hard to find people who actually want to help. But there are people out there who do want to listen 🙂 I don't know you, but I'm here for you 💜 You deserve to be heard. Please know that your daughter is around, I'm sure she trys to reach out to you ☺ trys to help you. Pay attention to any signs. Take life day by day. It takes time to push through bad stuff and hard times, but I think if you keep trying to help yourself, you will be happy. Happiness is out there... It just takes a little bit to catch it and hold on to it 😉☮

[Beachytoes2u in reply to MAVR]

Reading your post, made me wish I could hug you. Sounds strange from a unknown person, but you feel lonely from missing your friend. People, don't know what to say in awkward situations, instead of being "real" speaking/doing from the heart, they say something dumb. They didn't mean to be cruel to you, in your time of real need of others, they didn't know how. To loose a friend at any age is wrong, cause we pick our friends, not family. She, I'm sure was like a sister. Maybe u believe in this or not? But, she's with you all the time you just can't physically see her. Find a beautiful, quiet place to meditate to talk to her, cry, yell do whatever to get those feelings out to become ok. Grief, we all have to face, it sucks no matter who it is, and it disturbs our life. He'll yeah your mad she's not here, you deserve her to be with you, right? Talk it out here, find a place, is there something of hers that you saved? I did, so I have it in a special place, it's mine. I'm so sorry, your friend left this world, of course it was a accident, she would never leave you, her friend that had issues that she helped you with, write back anytime if any of this helped you. Cause we all go thru icky stuff, and life is not easy, we need help. So I hope today is better, you found a little peace, or beauty that reminded you of her, and you had a moment. It will be better. 🦋🌞

[Dlalin]

Is there any one taking bupropion? Any side effects?