I keep getting scared for others in the future, occurrences which I have made up in my mind. Constantly. I can’t bare to think of my loved ones in pain so my brain tortures me. I probably should be more afraid for myself since I’m scared of so much it’s killing me inside. It’s very difficult to talk about and I wish I could be put out of my misery. I am positive, I choose to maintain it as much as I can but in the background negative noise goes on. I had been doing better for a stretch. I guess it’s time to pay now. And fight harder or shall I let it play out? I’m tired. It may get better but as I look back on my life some things got worse. I work hard to be okay. I try hard. I feel cheated, messed with, alone. So on edge. Everything I look at and hear seems too much, too much to think about, too much to feel.
Thanks for listening.
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I'm truly sorry for what your going through, I to suffer the same thing, constantly worrying for something I shouldn't, but my mind and chest are a mess every day. 😞
Thank you and I wish you peace to replace your troubles.
The bad days pass. Try making yourself busy do something you love and let it occupy your mind, are you still on buspar or did the doctor switch it since it wasn't helping last time
Hi Danielle! I only took buspar for a number of days, am off it now. Thinking of trying Paxil some day. This is not living what I am going through. I will try to do something but to be loving anything is hard right now, but I’ll think of something and make it work to get a break. Thank you!
Mostly are things I cannot do much about right now so I can give them up to God. At least one thing I can do now and am really working on it. Another I am not ready to address yet so I pray about that one too. Funny thing is as I was having the worst time I was forgetting to pray. Thank you Hope
Gee, I could have written that too. I realized that sometimes I think about horrible things happening, as if I could rehearse now how I would feel so it wouldn't be so shocking if one of those things did occur. Nonsensical of me, but there it is.
As others have said, one of the really good things about this forum is that when we feel alone, isolated, and as if we're the only one suffering with something, we find that there are others who understand, and support us, and make us realize we are not alone.
I too think of horrible things happening and want my grandkids to enjoy their lives! I am 68 so if something happens to me, I have lived most of my life but with mental illness it hasn’t been easy!
Interesting about rehearsing the thing geared so it won’t be as shocking. I think I rehearse so that I can problem solve now so when it happens I can fix it.
Thanks so much for responding and helping me feel not so alone. It means a lot.
Yeah you should be more concerned for yourself and your family I started doing the same thing worried about my sisters and one of them lost her job and haven't found one yet the other sister has a foot injury and has no insurance the list goes on.
But in reality I can't help anybody else until I can help myself, even still I'm limited to what I could do for others I can just give my verbal support?
Thanks, the one sister though without the insurance I have a hard time feeling sorry for her a little bit because she said she can't afford the insurance but yet she was willing to move to a more expensive apartment to not have to give up her cat? So she does have the money but thinks the cat is more important than her health? She also told me that she has a hernia? This makes no sense to me? Well you need to take care of yourself
Trying to take care of myself. My hair is falling out extremely bad may be from stress or may be due to meds so I’m going off a couple of meds so I may have even more trouble than I am having now and now is pretty bad.
Nothing happened. Build up of things that bother me. Things seem bad and overwhelming but yup a lot of it is the illness talking and I am now trying to not give it power. Thanks Vonnah 💕
Thank you so much. It will pass and it may come back so it’s like waves of anxiety I can continue to ride it’s just sometimes it’s easier than others and I’m very tired and want to give up in a way and this is not like me to want to give up. I’m just not doing well. I try to give myself compassion but I am upset with myself for feeling like I want to die, it seems unacceptable.
Yes. I had thoughts about it earlier this week. Then ended up googling it about the golden gate bridge....then yesterday i watched videos of those jumpers. Now i can't stop thinking about it. I imagine what it's like for me to be up there on a ledge.....I'm sorry. This will probably get deleted anyways.
I hope it’s not something you’d act on. I understand getting caught up in the obsessive thoughts about it. Sometimes I picture different ways that I could but I won’t.
I have been mostly reading bible verses daily and talking straight to God to praise Him and to help me as I try to help myself but I have some negative beliefs that I am trying to let go of... need to change some things... I’m just so tired of feeling bad about myself and anxious.
Thank you Hope. I don’t feel like I will ever be okay but that is just right now. I pray I am wrong. I do believe I will get stronger and then things may be different in perspective.
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