I keep getting scared for others in the future, occurrences which I have made up in my mind. Constantly. I can’t bare to think of my loved ones in pain so my brain tortures me. I probably should be more afraid for myself since I’m scared of so much it’s killing me inside. It’s very difficult to talk about and I wish I could be put out of my misery. I am positive, I choose to maintain it as much as I can but in the background negative noise goes on. I had been doing better for a stretch. I guess it’s time to pay now. And fight harder or shall I let it play out? I’m tired. It may get better but as I look back on my life some things got worse. I work hard to be okay. I try hard. I feel cheated, messed with, alone. So on edge. Everything I look at and hear seems too much, too much to think about, too much to feel.
Thanks for listening.