Low one ...

Hey sorry to be a bore..

Having one of them days again. Feeling so low, lonely, esteem is rock bottom.... I think social media is the cause. The manufactured lives people put up I can’t achieve... because its mostly fake.

Its not just social media though

I just feel so isolated and alone...😓

I only have this site to talk on sometimes.. but I do wish I had friends to talk to more than once.

Why is it so hard to make friends at 26 ... I wish they taught you this at school ! Hey kids you better make a massive group of friends before 18 because they’ll fizzle out so the bigger the group the better! Lol sigh 😔

😢

Hope everyone else is having a better start to the weekend than me?

Upwards and onwards... ❣

[bridder01]

Sorry to hear that Hope. Making friends is hard for me too. Particularly in person because I'm very shy in person. Just be yourself. Those who find you fascinating will gravitate to you. To hell with the fake people! We got your back here ☺

Brian ☺

[Hidden in reply to bridder01]

Hi Brian thank you for your reply

Yes I am the same as you in person .I too am very shy but also I’m socially awkward. Therefore it’s almost impossible to make friends.

Thanks! Yes I love everyone on here . So caring and helpful with a good helping of tough love when needed haha!

Hope

[bridder01 in reply to Hidden]

I hear ya Hope. I'm socially awkward too. But you'll never know unless you try. What's the worst that could happen?

I think there are people out there that would love to know you.

"Damn the torpedoes...Full speed ahead!" -- Admiral David Glasgow Farragut

Brian

[Hidden in reply to bridder01]

Thank you! I will be more brave and just go for it !

[bridder01 in reply to Hidden]

Just remember, you have to do what's best for you. Baby steps can help. But don't be afraid to try. And you'll always have us for moral support

Brian

[Hidden in reply to bridder01]

Thanks Brian

[bridder01 in reply to Hidden]

No worries! We're never more than a message or a post away

[Hidden]

Hi Hope, I agree with Brian hell with the fake friends. Having too many friends vs one real true friend. That's all one needs. But even if no friend like I have created myself to have, it's ok because here we are. I used to be shy then out of nowhere hello! What's the point? People disappoint especially when you need them the most. Live & learn. Social media, depressed me too much. Everyone with these so called "perfect lives". So no more fb or whatever there is now for me. No need for nonsense!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hello x

Yes I have one friend and we’ve been friends since the age of three . I suppose I should be grateful for one good friend and not want loads of bad ones .

I’ve deleted social media ... I agree.. it’s just poison sometimes...

Thanks

[Hidden]

Have you try reaching out to old friends invite them somewhere go for a drink or bowling they might be feeling that way too, beside just cause people on social media look like their lives are perfect its justa beautiful lie

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the advice x

Have grown apart from old friends.. i found them to not be great and only around when they needed something from me and never around when i needed or just wanted to spend time with them . So I cleared all negative toxic people from my life .. and ended up quite lonely I suppose x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Same here Hope, had to delete toxic people in my life. Do I miss them? Nope. It was all about them, the moment I needed them. Too busy? Really then so am I. But you know I do things on my own, go to a museum, go to Starbucks, something I enjoy doing. Along the way I meet people. Guess that's my friend at that moment. What do you enjoy doing?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yeah that’s exactly how mine were ..

I have my husband he’s also my best friend and we do things together. I’m not lonely in that way.

Its just sometimes I miss having a group of friends I suppose .

I think in order to address a problem and get good advice I have to address my own wrongdoings too. I think when some people invite me to meet up.. my first instinct is to say no for some reason.. because I’m shy and socially awkward.. I just feel like I’ll embarrass myself or something.. or I don’t look great that day.. or I’m just having an off day you know? So it is my fault too I guess... people will give up on me if i keep saying no ...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That's me too! Have a hubby here too but unfortunately he seems to have social anxiety. So that doesn't help me. I tend to isolate myself when one has done wrong to me. Like leave me alone. I have turned into a hermit! Thought I would never get to this point. But yes here I am.

[RaqXo]

It’s hard for me to make friends too. People assume I have many though lol

I took off my social media. It was making me feel worse. It helped for sure!

[Hidden in reply to RaqXo]

Hey I’ve deleted it today too! X

[courtjestah]

Hope, first of all why are you apologizing and why do you think you are boring? Most people that suffer from depression have very low self esteem, myself included.

What about you makes you socially awkward? Your shyness?

Nobody is better than anybody in this world; it’s just that some have bigger egos.

Try to lighten up on yourself and give yourself a break.

Not everyone is bad or fake out there. Give it a try.

[Hidden in reply to courtjestah]

Aww thanks for your sweet reply x

I thought every couple of weeks I post here when I feel low and people might just get sick of being going on about the same old thing ... but I know how caring and sweet people are on here .

Yeah I’m just shy i can feel my face going all red under the makeup when I’m talking to people and for some reason apparently i speak really low so people can’t always hear me lol but in my head I actually don’t think I’m speaking quietly...and I absolutely hateeeee ordering food or telling the waitress/waiters what i want ! I dread it! I dunno it all sounds a bit silly i guess

[courtjestah in reply to Hidden]

There are reasons you’re this shy. Have you ever tried therapy?

[Hidden in reply to courtjestah]

I did a long time ago. I think i need to start again

[courtjestah in reply to Hidden]

It can’t hurt Hope. I could be wrong but it seems to me that there might be bigger issues behind your shyness that you aren’t aware of.

[Hidden in reply to courtjestah]

Thanks

[courtjestah in reply to Hidden]

Hope, I am 68 years old and have been in therapy since the age of 20. I keep discovering things that I wasn’t aware of, linking to reasons for certain behaviors and reactions.

[Hidden in reply to courtjestah]

Yes there will be a root problem. But the shyness isn’t such a massive problem its just around people that I’m not too close to or are new or crowds.... but after the initial introductions or meetings I’m okay after 5-10 mins. It’s mostly just I haven’t had great friends in the past so I had to let them go and now hard to meet people and trust too maybe .

Hopefully when i go back into therapy it will help

[courtjestah in reply to Hidden]

Trust issues are major and difficult to work through. I’m still working on mine, but we have to keep trying. Isolation unfortunately, becomes all too comfortable even though it contributes to our depression.

Sometimes we burn our bridges because we expect too much from our friends. We might do anything and everything for them but when those actions or emotions don’t feel reciprocated, we walk away from them. I’m guilty of this myself.

I’m trying to be more selective now and realize that not everyone is going to be like me. I don’t expect too much and I find that sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised. Make sense?

[Hidden in reply to courtjestah]

Yes it does... i think you’re right .

It’s very easy to walk away or hide . But sometimes it is simply that they’re not great people and just not right for us at the time .

Hopefully we’ll all work through our issues

[pink83737 in reply to Hidden]

I GET SO RED TOO, even with makeup! Ugh I hate it and it makes it so much worse when people ask “why is your face so red”

[Hidden in reply to courtjestah]

Also I’m sorry I didn’t mean everyone is fake.. was referring to insta models and people like that who are heavily edited on social media .. it can effect someone who is struggling with low self esteem and confidence etc.

[pink83737 in reply to Hidden]

I agree 100% try staying off social media or unfollow people that lower your self esteem that’s what I had to do

[b1b1b1]

You can make friends at ANY age. As to social media, if it makes you feel bad, which I can certainly understand, take a break from it. Especially after the Facebook mess, not using social media may become cool.

[Hidden in reply to b1b1b1]

Yes I’m taking a break . Facebook is quite a mess! I deleted mine over 8 years ago ...

[courtjestah in reply to b1b1b1]

I agree with you 1000%

[Hidden]

I talked to hubby about my issues and he’s advised me to join some classes and hopefully make friends through them. We’re thinking yoga and maybe learn a language! So that’s cheered me up a little. I am very nervous to start something new like that ! But as long as i can focus on the class and all the focus isn’t on socialising i should be ok! Wish me luck ... I usually bail on new things .....

[bridder01 in reply to Hidden]

You got this Hope! Bail is only good if you're trying to get out of jail. We've already sprung ya! lol

Brian

[bridder01]

Luck! (Wait, what's that...?) lol

[Hidden in reply to bridder01]

Haha 😉