All I want

When things are bad, all I want is company. I don't want people to tell me things or listen to me complain or fake being happy when I'm suffering.

This day and age, there is no time for anyone to stop running around to do it. I've had this disease for a year now and I've seen my mother one time and my father, not once. It's self proof when no one's gives you time in need, that being around is not important.

[dukenu]

That hits hard...nothing worse than being ill with this type of thing and not having the support and love you deserve from people who are supposed to be close to you. It would be so nice to just have someone come to my room and sit with me for even 30 minutes, don't have to say anything; the mere act of coming and 'being' with me would be all I need to know that someone cares. But people are busy and seem not to have the time. But maybe the case is that they don't know how bad this feels. When others are healthy and have never experienced an illness like this, they don't (they can't) understand that every minute counts, every word seems to matter. Sometimes I feel they are afraid that if they try to help, they think that it might make them sick too or something. Its hard. Some of this, though, is part of the illness itself. If you were healthy you might not care at all if your parents ever came to see you. You might be so busy you wouldn't see them either. So maybe its not as much the external reality of the situation, put our perceptions of the situation. Thats the sort of thing I learned to do with Cognitive Behavior Therapy, I'm having to go back to practice that because Im currently having issues again.

[old-soul]

Once upon a time family meant something. I truly understand where your at, unfortunately. Smart phones, regular television upgrades an refrigerators that are also juke-boxes take precedence for most these days.

Sadly, these days, the only time most people I know actually come around is because they want something.

[MommyBro]

i definitely agree with Dukenu that a lot of people really don't understand what this is like. My elderly mother was put on some pain meds that made her really depressed. She told me, "Wow, I didn't really understand what this is like. If this is what you have been feeling all these years, I'm really sorry. I just didn't know how bad it is." Her doctor switched her meds and she doesn't have [diagnosed] depression anymore, and it's as if she forgot what it was like. I think most of the people in my immediate family are dealing with their own stuff, either by being really, really busy so they can ignore the bad stuff, or by also experiencing their own severe symptoms, which leaves them without the resources to help anyone else.

[Catwoman227]

I'm sorry your feeling this way. I've been in situations like that. It feels horrible. I'm here if you need to talk. ☺