Please, explain this to me.....

[KMorgana]

I have been struggling with depression for a while now. (almost 3 years) Recently I discovered that some of my closest friends have known for the past three months, but never said a single thing to me about it. Do they just not care? Were they afraid of saying something? Honestly, it hurt knowing that I have been struggling alone with this even though I wasn't the only one who knew. I don't know what I would have said if they did tell me they knew simply cause I'm not good with talking to people, but at least I would know that they cared.

[jkl5500]

They may have simply been uncomfortable bringing up the subject with you, probably because it's a form of mental illness (even though it's extremely common).

Maybe they were waiting for you to bring it up, since it's your illness, and they don't want to appear nosy.

I wouldn't think the worst in this case. Why not have a long talk about it with them, since they already know? It will clear the air.

[KMorgana in reply to jkl5500]

Eventually, I think it would be good to talk to them about it, but I wouldn't be able to now. I wouldn't know what to say. After so long of us just pretending nothing happened or is happening... I just don't know what our relationships would look like after.

[jkl5500 in reply to KMorgana]

I assume you're afraid they will abandon you, or treat you as "different" if you have this conversation with them. In my opinion, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by having an open and honest discussion about it.

[KMorgana in reply to jkl5500]

You could totally be right, but I have to remember that I have friends now and very well might not have them after the fact. I just don't know if I want to risk it.

[jkl5500 in reply to KMorgana]

I was where you are now many years ago. I was afraid that everyone would avoid me if I told them about my illness. It turns out that this illness is much more common than you may think. Most people already know someone who suffers from depression and anxiety.

In my case, no one abandoned me, and all were understanding and sympathetic. If your friends aren't like that, are they really worth having?

Anyhow, it's your life, and it's your call.

[jkl5500 in reply to KMorgana]

One last thing: You said your friends already know about your illness. But they're still hanging out with you, even though they know, right? So they still want to be your friends, even though they already know.

In that case, what do you have to lose by discussing it with them? They already know, and if they were going to "dump" you, they would have done it by now. I think this is a great chance to clear the air for all of you.

[hurtingheart1]

I'm sorry you are experiencing this- I feel like I've dealt with some of this myself!! it baffles me as well I wish there was a clear explaination for it but probably there are so many diff. factors! I personal have been comming to realize that people can either get wrapped up in there own busy lives and be kinda shallow and selfish at times, also sometimes they honestly don't know what to say or how to respond to certain things they don't understand enough about ,basically they are affraid-afraid to say the wrong thing or that it'll offend you or just afraid of not knowing what to say!! of coarse I don't know your friends or what's the case w/your friends these are just some thoughts I've come up with so far!! Hope it can help you maybe!☺️

[KMorgana in reply to hurtingheart1]

Thank you! I really hope you are right!

[fauxartist]

Sometimes friends don't want to hurt your feelings, or may have worried they would insult you or something like that if they brought it up. It doesn't mean they don't care, It's like when you know a friend is cheating on his girlfriend and your equally as good of friends with the girlfriend...do you tell her your buddy has been cheating on her?, .... it's a tough call ... but doesn't mean your don't care, your just not sure what to do. At least now you can have open dialogue with your friends about it now if you and they are comfortable with it.

[KMorgana in reply to fauxartist]

They've never said anything to me about it so I'm not sure what us talking about it would look like.

[KMorgana]

I also forgot to mention this.... just a while back my friend calls me in a frantic panic saying that she is afraid her friend might kill herself. She says to me "I know you used to struggle with this kind of stuff so what do you think I should do?" Of course I told her everything I thought she could do and it seemed to help in the end. But ever since then I can't seem to forget what she said about how I USED to struggle with this stuff. We are best friends. I didn't think I was great at hiding it because that's how many people found out, but I guess I was good enough to hide it from my best friend whom I see every day. And the friend she contacted me about is ok. She is doing much better and we have become good friends. I just don't know if I want her to know that I am still struggling with stuff. It would just be hard to open that back up.