I want to feel normal again

[serenity_peace]

I just joined and have been dealing with major depression and anxiety for a while. I treat with a Psychiatrist and Psychologist. However, I'm still struggling with the various symptoms and don't know what else I can do to try and feel somewhat normal. I'm exhausted of fighting to get better and have consistency with my emotions.

[BonnieSue]

Are you on an antidepressant? What can I do to help you?

[serenity_peace in reply to BonnieSue]

Yes, I take lexapro which is good but I'm going through with changing the anxiety med.. we are still trying to find one that work best for me. I've tried klonopin, gabapentin, flexeril, Ativan but they all made me drowsy, messed with my sleep patterns, changed my mood for the worst.. do you have any suggestions on a good anxiety medicine?

[BonnieSue in reply to serenity_peace]

Buspar comes to mind. It's not a benzo, which is good, and it's different than most other anti-anxiety drugs. But I'm not a medical doctor and there could be reasons why you haven't been put on it.

You might need to go with an anti-anxiety medicine in a dose that doesn't make you sleepy during the daytime and a med for bedtime that puts you to sleep and allows good rest. That's 2 drugs to take care of your needs instead of expecting 1 to do both jobs. I have had this for many years and it does work for many people.

You have a good variety of drugs that have been tried, so I give your doctor credit for his/her choices. But unfortunately each drug is a little different and sometimes you have to try them 1 by 1. I hope you find the right one soon. I wish you a very healthy and happy situation.

[serenity_peace]

yes, I have dealt with depression for years and anxiety for about 5 years now. I have been through outpatient therapy and continued counseling/medication. It's difficult for me to deal with stress which seem to be everywhere these days. I'm tired of being an on and off emotional wreck.

[BonnieSue in reply to serenity_peace]

It seems that your medication isn't working for you. Do you tell your doctor that?

[Sailingmom in reply to BonnieSue]

I agree. She needs to see her Dr ASAP so he can adjust it. With the right combo of meds, you can and will get better. May take time, but it does happen. I'm in the same place. my meds were just adjusted but aren't working yet. Depression is very bad.

[Willem22 in reply to serenity_peace]

I don't want to be "drama" for anyone, but this illness is taxing on the soul. I feel your pain. Hang in there.....

[Luv4life]

Hi, glad you joined, so sorry to hear that you are feeling exhausted. My daughter has been on that rollercoaster for many years, sometimes feeling that same way.

It is frustrating when you think you have found some balance and that 'normal' lifestyle, but then either feel it slipping or just one day suddenly it changes.

Fortunately we are all in this together, and a good network of friends or family can help when that balance is lost. Most of the time it is because something has changed and her medication needs to be either changed or adjusted. Sometimes finding the solution is easy and quick, other times not. But the results are worth it and the entire process helps in figuribg out all the pieces of the puzzle.

We are all uniquely made and in a constant state of change. Even 'normal' has fluctuations, I can sure testify to that. We all need help along the way, we need one another too. Don't be afraid to speak out and reach out, even though you may be worn out and just drained, people understand that and respect your desire and need for serenity and peace.(great name!)

[serenity_peace in reply to Luv4life]

Thank you so much!!! I hope things get better for your daughter. You are definitely right and we do need support especially from others like ourselves in same or similar situations. I learned that when people are not going through this or never been through this that they are not the best support system. Experience is the best teacher.. I chose the name serinity_peace because that's what I long for in my life. The world is so noisy, destructive, full of chaos that serenity and peace is much needed.

[help_each_other]

I have been through - and sometimes still go through - times of depression. There are normal fluctuations -- but there are more lows for those of us who get depressed. I agree with medication and counseling. Also, 1) try to maintain some sort of schedule, 2) set up times to talk to friends, or go to events. Good luck and keep reaching out to this group!

[serenity_peace in reply to help_each_other]

Thank you!!! I hope you get better and I'm here as well as others in the group as support..

[BonnieSue in reply to serenity_peace]

I'm going to give you a bunch of suggestions that are non-drug resources for helping you help yourself with your anxiety. If you find a 1 or 2 things that can level out your anxiety, you will find your meds working better for you.

Some things that help you become more in control of your anxiety are: yoga, tai chi, meditation and mindfulness.

Some natural remedies and non-drug sources of information are books, videos, and workbooks suggested by other people on this site:

1---"I've found David D. Burns' "Feeling Good" and "When Panic Attacks" to be very helpful."

2---"I am working through the anxiety workbook by Dr David Carbonell and it has helped immensely!!! "

---Mindfulness has helped many people and is now recommended by doctors in the UK. Here’s just 1 link that explains it’s usefulness: heartwoodrefuge.org/benefit.... Another option of many is called MINDSHIFT. You can download it to your phone from Google Playstore.

4---TRE (Trauma releasing exercises) is something you can learn in a class but you don't have to talk about your problems and once you have learned the technique you can use it at home.

5---"A good book that I came across recently is "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 6th Edition" by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD. You might find this book to be of some help to you, although communicating your thoughts and feelings in a group setting is enormously helpful as well. "

6---“The book DARE, which is about anxiety. It’s a very good book about accepting anxiety and letting go of the fear. The author is Barry Mcdonagh and he also has a YouTube channel and a Facebook support group.”

7---For anxiety: Claire Weekes audio books on iTunes. “Self Held for Your Nerves” is one title that is good. You can see her on YouTube. “The Dr. Claire Weekes book is easy to understand and will help you on your way to recovery through acceptance.”

8---Another really good CD and book is the Linden method.

9---How to be good with yourself: self-compassion.org/the-thr...10---Try the meditation app called Headspace. It's done in 10 mins slots once a day.

10---Videos on YouTube by THAT ANXIETY GUY helps with anxiety re: depersonalization/ de-realization states.

11—For UK residents: Have you ever been in touch with the organisation called MIND? They offer one to one sessions with a Project Worker free. They also run courses that you can attend free of charge. One of the courses is about Anxiety. Their website is mind.org.uk

12---"Go on the psychology today site and look for a therapist that specializes in anxiety."

13---Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? self-compassion.org/the-thr...

14---“Have you ever listened to Louise Hay on YouTube? Some of the talks help motivate you and hopefully you will feel a positive energy.”

15---“I called one of these online therapist sites. The therapist was really good. It was prestoexperts dot com. Her name was Lori Burke. Definitely a professional and she got me through this awful depression/anxiety morning.” (There is a charge for this service)

16---For meditation look at:

Tara Brach and Chopra Center

17---theworrygames.com/anxiety-f...

18---“AnxietyNoMore” by Paul Bywater. A phone app.

19---“At Last a Life” book by Paul David.

20---The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

By: Matthew McKay PhD, Jeffrey Wood PsyD, Jeffrey Brantley MD

A Clear and Effective Approach to Learning DBT Skills

First developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

Source: NewHarbingerPublications

Caution for non-Buddhists: Zen Buddhism inspired aspects of DBT, along with behavioral science and dialectical philosophy. Source: GoodTherapy.com.

[gogogirl in reply to BonnieSue]

I too am going to look at your resources.

[BonnieSue in reply to gogogirl]

Sure! They're for everyone!

[gogogirl in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you- I already looked at some of your resources, and am glad they are out there. I look forward to being in touch.

Rough week in the cold.

[gogogirl]

I want to feel "normal" again as well. Realized after so many decades that some of my choices while depressed have definitely been an influence.

[rippi]

Oh gosh do I want to feel normal again too this is awful, are you on med's? Im not cause this is all very new to me just came on and isnt leaving...

[BonnieSue in reply to rippi]

I think your question was to rippi, but I'll answer, too. I'm on meds and have been for decades. I'm very glad that I am. My antidepressant and benzodiazepine keep me from being depressed or anxious and I enjoy very good health. I'm happy, at peace with my place in the world, and no one has to know that I'm anything but perfectly healthy if I don't want them to know. This includes my mental health plus my physical health, both of which I have several disorders or diseases of significance.

[Willem22 in reply to BonnieSue]

It's been my experience that meds work for a time then stop being effective. Not to mention the side effects. Been on more then I can remember over the years. I made a conscious decision late last year to get off them for a while and honestly that's not working either. So, here I am back again to try meds and more counseling. This illness is stealing my will to keep fighting, but I cant give up. I love my children too much not to get and stay mentally healthy. The jury is out on whether my marriage will survive the 21st year. It takes a toll on your loved ones.

[kiki1952]

I have just been put on venlafaxine 75mg, I have depression bad, are these tablets any good and how long do they take to work?

Thank's Keith.

[Nina555 in reply to kiki1952]

Yes they work, however, my dosage had to be kicked up to 150 mgs.

I'm taking Tamoxifen, I had breast cancer in 2017, & Venlafaxine counters the nasty side effects of Tamoxifen. Which is a nice byproduct from a med for a change.

[Olinick]

I have dealt with anxiety and depression for most of my life but didn't start on treatment until I was in my 40s. So often I used the same expression of 'wanting to be normal again". I agree with the others that you do need to get in contact with your doctor. Even when you think the bad days will never end they will. Medications can be a tricky thing to work out. In the meantime, enjoy the good days when you have them and reach out to people here when you have the bad days. Good luck.

[Kurisu]

What if i told you ive been depressed for 25 years. Medicated for 20 with everything you can think of and im STILL DEPRESSED.

yea. More pills. Thats the fucking answer...

[AWTTY in reply to Kurisu]

Sorry to hear that Kurisu. Yeah- depression is a bitch, I have a good friend who is fighting that fight. I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and amazingly I have not yet fallen into a depression after these years (no idea how I've been so lucky). Meds are a weird deal- I resisted for a long time, but final tried it- and after a few drugs I found a combo that keeps me fairly grounded.

We people are a big chemical bag of goo it seems. I'm sorry you have not found a mix that works for you- I hope you have a therapist you can talk to to keep looking for something.

Meds are not a silver bullet- there is still a crap load of "self care work" we all need to do. It's exhausting....sending you the best.

[AWTTY]

Hi serenity_peace. I get it the best I can. Just a few days ago I was driving to work and thought "man- what would I even feel like if I really had NO anxiety". I almost can't imagine it. I can't remember what my life was when I was care free and just doing my thing. But.........here I am with severe anxiety and I just keep moving forward. It is *not* my idea. I've asked my therapist several times if this is a life time condition. She is really good, and gives the "politically correct" answer that "we don't know" and maybe once certain things change my GAD will change - but I have sort of resigned myself to thinking this will be with me from here to the end. The ONE thing that has helped me, strangely, is humor. There are days I look at my massive panic attacks and once it is all done I almost laugh at myself- it is such a stupid mental illness. When I am really freaking out, I do a Google search for "anxiety humor" and find a ton of humorous cartoons that make me smile- and remind me how many people "get it".

Sending you positive vibes.....

[LoveBear]

I so want to feel normal again too although I don’t know what that is anymore - I understand. Everything you said I can relate to; they keep telling me it will get better and I’m really trying to have hope. Depression hit me about a year ago (I’m 53). Three hospitalizations and lots of ECT - lots of different meds - planning another change next week - so tired....