Friends? Buddies? Acquaintances?

[c_the_poet]

Hi, I am new to the community. I'm a very shy person; I gathered quite a bit of courage to write this. I have been dealing with depression on and off for a couple years now. Within the last 6 months, it has gotten worse than previous times. I was away at college at the time and decided the best course of action would be to take some time off. Will in the process of getting things settled to return to my hometown I started experiencing panic attacks. I am now living back at home, taking 100mg of prescribed antidepressant and started counseling. I've decided to not return to the college I was at and instead take a couple courses in the spring at the local community college. Everything is running smoothly...but I still feel numb. I can't seem to find in me to care about myself some days. Other days I feel my heart beating fast enough to run a marathon. I still have thoughts of self-harm or ending it all. Thankfully I haven't gotten worse, more or less the same. I would just like to meet some people I can talk to about ways to try to get better or just talk to in general.

[jkl5500]

Welcome! This is a good place to meet people who know what you're talking about.

[c_the_poet in reply to jkl5500]

It is starting to feel great to be here

[Chinnup]

It takes a while to shake anxiety off even if everything "should" be getting better.

Caffeine increases anxiety so cut it out if you can, exercise as much as possible, keep busy, eat healthy, make sure you're getting all the vitamins and minerals you need.

Lots of people know what it's like to feel the way you do, and we can help each other through

[c_the_poet in reply to Chinnup]

In the last couple of days, I have been trying to keep busy and exercise more but I may have pushed myself a bit much since I was out like a light all of Sunday lol

[erin_c]

Welcome! You are not alone. Many of us understand what you're going through. Recently I found a podcast that you might enjoy. It is called "the hilarious world of depression" I suggest starting with episode one so you can learn more and see if it's something for you.

[c_the_poet in reply to erin_c]

I will definitely check it out. Thank you for the recommendation

[old-soul]

Glad to have you here, and also that you mentioned having people to just kind of chat with too. I have been a work in progress with ptsd, depression and anxiety for a really long time. Most recently I came under attack by a landlady's son who is a hostile, angry, and vicious drunk, and lost my home of 10 years, heirloom and other furniture, so many of my memories, basicly most of the contents of my home, as well as any and all sence of safety. I was forced into a slum tenement building rife with drugs and criminality, and less than 8 weeks later my mom died. Her final days were awful, and my narssicistic father made it even worse for both she and I.

So, yeah, huge ptsd setback. There was even more stuff that happened, but you have the highlights, and I'm sure can appriciate just how devistating it was for me. My point, however, is sometimes It's good for me to process all that junk and to talk about it, but sometimes I also need a break from the 24/7/365 "get well project," or I actually can do unintentional harm to myself by setting myself up to feel like "broken" is ALL I am.

Dogs, music, motorcycles, movies, art, cute jokes . . . all that stuff is so important, and you know what C? I get to have those discussions here too. I have been so blessed to find this group, and I've only been coming around here a month or so.

I am really glad you took the risk to join in and create a post. I sure hope you settle in and feel as comfortable here as I have come to. There are so many wonderful people I have encountered here, and like I said, I've only been here a short time.

[iris_r]

Welcome, I am newly here as well. You are not alone.

[mrmonk]

Hey there, welcome to the community! Lots of understanding folks here to talk to who can relate. Given your handle, it seems like a foregone conclusion, but do you write/read poetry? I hope so. Poetry can help us not feel so alone. Take care.