Lonely

[Greenbooks82]

Feeling isolated and lonely. I wish I had more friends

[Jmerrick22]

I'll be your friend I'm here if you need to talk. I kinda feel the same way and for some reason feel like randomly crying today

[Greenbooks82 in reply to Jmerrick22]

Me too! I have trouble keeping friends because I have really bad social anxiety..what about you?

[Jmerrick22]

I have bad anxiety off and on for probably two years with depersonalization and I've come along way but lately I haven't been feeling myself. Like today I randomly feel like crying but I'm like why ? Like I feel like I have no control over it. I hate this then I freak myself out. Like a year and a half ago I had myself so petrified I made my mom get rid of all the knives and scissors and all because I was like what if I ever snap out and try and hurt myself I'm like I don't wanna die. Idk what triggered me today but this sucks I just wanna be cuddled or held lol. Sorry for my rant . Feel free to message me if

You need someone to talk with

[Hidden]

As some one who doesn’t have friends outside of my family I can say it gets easier as time goes on. No two people are the same. Some people make tons of friends others only have one or two close friends. While others are just comfortable being alone. You will make friends when you are ready. Till then Carpe Diem.

[Marielle1]

I’ll be your friend!! I feel lonely all the time, I know your pain

[old-soul]

Numb, confused,

Lonely, lost.

Reaching out,

. . . at any cost.

Night falls like rain.

And so comes pain.

Darkness harsh,

I'm not insane.

The world is fractured,

That's not manufactured.

It's a fact,

We've gone off track.

I have social anxiety dating back to around 1976, and generlized anxiety as well as shame based issues dating back to 1972-73. I had some pretty brutal "medical care" in the form of 3 completely un-necessary and worse, FAILED surgeries that were forced on me in spite of my very vocal protests. (Outbursts, they were fond of calling them. Hmmm, I guess the fact that I was RIGHT about what a huge mistake they were making doesn't excuse the fact that I would scream things like, "No. Stop. I don't want you to do that to me anymore," at ACTUAL DOCTORS with no respect for their brilliance and education. Grrrr)

Anyhow, I was bashing around reading things from every corner of intellect as I am inclined to do during lonely and sleepless nights, and ran across an article on a site that is geared primarily toward, get this, men attempting to "learn to be the sort of man a good woman will find worthy." For heaven's sake. Really? lol

I had been doing random searches on everything from parts for my old motorcycle projects to FAA regulations and requirements to pilot one's own hang glider, technical mathematics related to flight ect. and of corse, items related to relationship and marriage customs of cultures all over the globe.

Yup, being single again, and having been so for over 5 years this time around, it certainly crosses my mind. Quite often, truth be told. So, in so doing, there were the ever-present "click here to see what this celeb looks like now," "click here to see this new way to loose 70 pounds over the weekend by avoiding one type of spinach," "click here to know it the woman you are dating is worth marrying," type junk.

I am NOT a "oh gee let's click all the paid ad buttons," kinda guy, but thought maybe I'd do a search of, "How to know if a woman would be a faithful wife," or something to that effect, and came across this article written by this guy that started out by saying something to the effect, "Most of the articles here focus on how to be a good man, and I suspect I may take some flack on this, but here goes. Here are traits that suggest a woman would make a good wife . . ." type thing.

I could not believe some of the responses from women. Things like, "Women are inconsistent by nature, and therefore if you want an attractive woman who is spontainious and fun, you can't expect her to be stable and faithful. Spontaneous women are also prone to infidelity," and several other complete b.s. responses co-signing a standard suggesting that men should be "good boys," and women who are good looking and playful should be EXPECTED to cheat because that's what women do. These were coments FROM women, mind you.

Wow. Go figure. What's sad is, there is so much acceptance of infidelity, selfishness and self-ceterdness in the world, it's little wonder there are so damned many lonely people, eh? Loyalty is so commonly considered a charactor flaw. It's true.

I'd rather be alone and lonely, than in a pit of vipers and lonely. The population of the planet has increased 10 fold in just 200 years, people feel they "need" more stuff and more "convinence" and to "binge watch" stuff like "The Bachelor," or any host of other shows where the idea of family is made the butt of the joke, or where "friends" are just people who focus on career and just want to joke around and bed-hop when they're not working, because in every romantic relation depicted, the sincere one with a soft heart is the one that, "needs to learn to just let go."

You now need a passport to travel between the US and Canada, and a 5 or 6 year old kid who's lost can no longer just go to a house where there is a car in the driveway, as that indicates there is likely someone home, ring the doorbell, and ask the home-owner to use the phone to call his or her mom or dad, because now a days, people are scared that a kid might say the adult did something bad to them. I'm sorry, but all I can say is, "WTF, REALLY?!"

I think depression is not nearly as much a "mental health condition," as it is a normal response to a very screwed up working class population. Oh, and anxiety? Yeah, we live in a society where you now are afraid of children as a general rule, so, wouldn't that make anxiety normal?

I'd write a great APA (American Psychological Association) formatted report on my findings, but no-one would read it because I don't have a degree. I'm a high-school dropout who tested with an extrodinary IQ and mental age at age 7. I really never saw any need to pay a major university a king's ransom for a piece of paper that says I see it all their way, Ivy League or otherwise.

How's THAT for a rant, Greenbooks82? lol {blush} So, yeah, I can definately relate, and I honestly think in many if not most ways, those of us that suffer anxiety and depression may often just be those that are strong enough and moral enough to see the damned truth. They don't make pills that resolve the problems of mis-trust, social paranoia, corporate greed, or stupidity for that matter. They do make lots of stuff to numb us a bit and hope for the best, though.

Feel free to pm if you'd like. Not just you, ANYONE that this convo interests.

[Want2BHappy3]

Are you telling people about your anxeity? Doing that loses people real FAST. It's happened to me, they get frustrated with me because they don't know how to deal with it.

My kids isolate me as a way to deal with it. Try not talking about it then see if that works? Pretend everything things fine. Write here if you need to vent? Take care

[Choosejoy]

I've been there. Sometimes I do it to myself. I have to push myself beyond my comfort zone. You can join activities like a class or bible study. Volunteering is a great way to meet people and add meaning to your life. We have to work at it. You are worth the effort. And the rewards will be great. I am praying for you greenbrooks82. You make the effort and God will do the rest.

[Pris1980]

I know how u feel. I actaully felt the exact same way today and i did cry. I tried writing in my journal when i was feeling this way but it seemed to make my anxious feeling worse and more intense..!! So i decided to go for a walk which helped to releive some of the anxious and tense feelings. I know how difficult it is ti make friends so i understand. I keep saying the same thing that i need more friends too. But if u need to talk or reach out to someone, im here😁

[mjlitl13]

Hi,

I too am lonely. I have been, on and off, for most of my life.

When I was younger, I had severe social anxiety and only had 2 or 3 friends in school. I remember, in 7th grade, the first year of Junior high for me, I had no friends at all!

Eventually, in my early 20's, I got myself into therapy. It was a long, hard struggle, but after 2 therapists and taking a few risks socially with the second therapist, I was finally able to join a support group on my own.

That group (ACOA) helped me tremendously, since I did not HAVE to talk but as I listened to others share, I could relate to some of therm. I was even able to share, just a little bit, at my very first meeting!

Everyone there accepts you just as you are and that is EXACTLY what I needed, permission to be myself in a group setting!

There are tons of support groups out there. Since ACOA is for Adult Children Of Alcoholics, I asked if the meeting was OK for someone just from a dysfunctional family, and they said Yes!

After attending meetings for about 14 years, and even way before that, I FINALLY was able to "come out of my shell"!

Unfortunately, for me, all the ACOA and even AL-ANON meetings near me have closed within the past few years.

Since I am now retired, it is harder to find new friends and the ones I made at the meetings, well most of them moved away.

However, my social anxiety has NOT returned and I can easily talk with just about anyone in a store, at an Adult School class, etc!

If you are not in therapy now, tell your family Dr how you are feeling and, he or she may prescribe something for your anxiety and recommend a therapist.

Finally, I too will be happy to be your friend!

Keep coming back here too. There is always someone here to listen to you and relate.

You made the right decision to come here. You are among friends!

Hugs,

MJ

[Kaelyyna]

Loneliness sucks. I'm sorry you're feeling that way. You can talk to me anytime. I also know it can be hard to reach out when you're feeling that way, too.

I'm not good at being friends, I don't know how much contact is appropriate, etc. It's just an awkward feeling. I don't remember always feeling this self-conscious about how to have a friendship, but I always have felt like an outsider. Depression and anxiety are constant companions, so there too, I can relate. I find it hard to make myself go places and to put myself in social situations, but most of the time when I actually do leave the house and encounter people, I am very friendly and social... strange juxtaposition of antisocial and social behaviors!

My dear husband, who was also my very best friend, passed away about three months ago... today has been one of those days when I have been missing him very much, crying randomly, and just lonely as hell for him. I could really use some friendship, too. People are good to come around at first, but then they go on with their lives, because they can and they should.

I understand lonely.

I'm here for you. Maybe we can be here for each other.

[Greenbooks82 in reply to Kaelyyna]

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband! I can be here for you too!

[Nato22]

Hi i get how you feel im giong through the same thing social anxiety keeps me isolated and i have the tendency to push people away as a result of that fear of rejection.talking to people that know how u feel can help.here to listen

[Shutterbug65]

Yup. I know the feeling. Weekends are rough for me. I see people out with friends and family doing stuff. And Im alone. So I’ll be your friend.