Lonely: How can you find someone to... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Lonely

Copr66
Copr66

How can you find someone to talk to when you are depressed? I have so many contacts on my facebook page and on my phone but when I need someone to talk to or have someone to listen to me I feel alone. I get so anxious at times that don't know what to do with it, seems like everyone is in their own world and don't see it that Im wanting to talk. Where can you go to make new friends? I don't even know if I know how to make a new friend.

24 Replies
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Hi Copr66, coming onto this site can help you since there are so many people

who feel the loneliness that you do and would love nothing more than to make

a new friend. What's nice is that we are just a message away. :) xx

Copr66
Copr66 in reply to Agora1

Thank you. I've gone to therapy but its only an hour and there are so many things I want to say that an hour is not enough. Then when I call a friend they either busy or doing something and cant talk or most of them work. I don't go out much because I don't feel like getting out of bed. I hope to find here what im looking for

Agora1
Agora1 in reply to Copr66

Copr, I can almost guarantee that you will find what you are looking for.

Not only because loneliness and depression affects a large number of the

population but also because we understand what it's like. Sometimes even

family and friends can't comprehend the emotional pain we go through.

This is a very caring group of people both men and women alike. Anxiety

and Depression hits every age bracket. You are no longer alone. :) xx

Copr66
Copr66 in reply to Agora1

Thank you

hi facebook and other social media platforms will add to your worries not many people will be posting about the real realities of there own life lots of it is fake and that's how you feel isolated more.i deleted mine years ago and only have this as I can chat to likeminded people and its great.i volunteered and made lots of good new friends almost anything community based volunteering is a great way to meet new people.

Copr66
Copr66 in reply to kenster1

As a matter of fact I agree with what you say about FB that why I have my account only to communicate with family occasionally. It does bother me sometimes to see how people seem to be "happy" and maybe they are not and it was hurting so much thats why I hardly open the account. As far as volunteering I haven't thought about that maybe I should start looking into it.

Copr66
Copr66 in reply to Copr66

Thank you.

Copr66
Copr66 in reply to kenster1

Thank you

kenster1
kenster1 in reply to Copr66

no worries glad to help.

Hi. Welcome to the site. I used to go on Facebook a lot. It’s a great way to connect, but I felt like I was seeing too much and myself living too little. Fear of missing out. It steadily instilled in me tiny fragments of doubt and insecurity. Always looking at what other people were doing. I needed to live my own life and not be a bystander to theirs. I started using the Meetup app. You can find people with similar interests as you and do things together. Might even make some friends. Worth a look into. There’s always new events popping up

I very rarely go on FB as I find it so trivial and mind numbing. I always think people should be living their lives rather than keep trying to persuade others they are having a great time. If they were so busy and happy they wouldn't have the time would they? x

I hear you friend. I have many "friends" - many life long but when it comes to talking about my depression I can't think of one I feel comfortable talking to. That's why I come here. At least folks understand me here.

Hello!

Consider me a pal. :) I am always here and always willing to chat.

However, I know what you mean by feeling lonely. As tough at it is, I have found that going to public places to eat is a way to make friends. I used to be embarrassed to go sit somewhere by myself but as I did it, I also grew the confidence to approach others that were also sitting alone. Some like their peace and quiet, which I respect. But others really would like someone to talk to. I kindly approach and ask, just like people would in the cafeteria at school. It sounds weird and out of pocket, but I have also made friends and have gotten to know my servers (when they aren't super busy). I have also been a server and if someone is sitting alone and seems to want to have conversation, I entertain it and have made great friendships. FB and social media is a tough one because everyone lives a fairytale life online. (this is something i am slowly but surely wanting to help change)

If you do use facebook, I encourage you to make a group. Maybe a book club? Or do reach out to those people you are wanting to talk to. You never know, they might feel exactly how you do. I do this weird thing where I feel compelled to let someone know that they are beautiful inside and out. I also do this to strangers when I am out and about and it has opened up a lot of conversation for me. It helps me get out of my shell. And it makes others feel good because you never know what someone is going through. This may seem weird, but it has made me feel good and I have been able to establish some friendships in this way. Wishing you the best and I am always here to talk . xoxo

I remember once being told a stranger is somebody you have not met yet. I volunteer to go and visit lonely older people. When I start I hope to make a change in their lives.

Copr66
Copr66 in reply to TopGunGiraffe

Yes, that has happened to me that sometimes when Im feeling the worst someone says something and I could be not wanting to say a word but I immediately answer and in a way I feel better. The other day I went to grab a cup of coffee at the gas station and was in my worst mood to call it something different and when I went to pay the gentleman said can I have a smile? I didn't know how long its been someone asked for a smile I smiled back and he said see you look beautiful. It made my day

TopGunGiraffe
TopGunGiraffe in reply to Copr66

I loved this. Little reminders. :)

When you need to talk reach out here. Someone will always listen.

I feel the same way. I don’t know how to make friends. I don’t know how to start a conversation and keep it going

Maybe you need to make it Clear that you'd like to Talk? People don't want to keep hearing the same thing. Why don't you Reach out to someone on this site? We're pretty much all in the same Boat and can relate.

My entire life I was alone, being alone is a good thing because people always disappointed you. Try to take a dog or a cat and talk with them, they are very good listeners.

I’m in the same boat. Always lonely and can never find anyone to talk to. I try to stay away from social media because all is does is make me feel worse for the same reasons people stated. I do have trouble trusting people in general, so that will hold me back as well, but I’m working on that. Being lonely reminds me that I am, in reality, alone, and living life alone. I’m used to doing things alone and now I’m getting depressed about it, which just puts me in a terrible cycle. I wish I had answers for you.

I know what you mean depression makes you feel very lonely anyway. I am desperate for friends, it seems to me those of us most in need have the least friends. I've got nobody close to me, I think joining things is one way. I got to a bereavement group and am getting friendly with a couple of people there. But it's only a hour a week and the week is long. Try to join something anything, you may not like it you may love it. Best wishes.

san_ray70
san_ray70 in reply to Arniestal

Do you like arts and crafts, see if there are any clubs you can join, go to the library and ask if there is a book club. Ours is once a month, but it is a start. I do short mat bowling, go to two different places. We also play table tennis, a good way to keep fit. Also a good way to make friends.

I think there's alot more folks like us out there. I have this one Facebook friend and he is always sharing quotes about feelings and people. I always dm him. He responds, giving words of encouragement. He is bipolar also. I wish you well. I know just how you feel.

I think this is the place we can go to anytime and say how you feel. Is there something that may be adding to your loneliness? I'm playing catch up with finances from a job lay off. But I understand my feelings come from out of nowhere.

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