I haven't worked since 2012. If you read my profile story you will see that the reason started when I was over-medicated, had to wean off 9 medications & started having non-epiletic seizures in December 2014. Spent all of 2015 trying to figure out WHY?? They are due to inability to handle stress & also have to do with the amount of medication I was on in 2012-2013.
I am 44 years old & have been living with my parents since it all started at 38. I am feel like such a loser & that I will NEVER be the outgoing, independent & WORKING woman that I used to be. Just the thought of it all makes me so anxious I feel sick. I deal with "racing thoughts" every day of what am I going to do with my life.
My days consist on doing my morning cleaning around the house, sitting at my computer, sitting on the back porch smoking & feeling NO MOTIVATION!! I feel like it's not even worth it to try anymore.
I have 3 friends, but they work & have kids & their own life & issues so I rarely talk to them. I am okay with being alone, but everyone keeps telling me how "abnormal" my life Is!
I don't CONFINE myself to the house, but I do not like "socializing" or going out like I used to. I mean - I've lived the bar scene, being little miss social butterfly & always being on the go before 2012. I don't want that! I can't deal with "people" in general like I used to.
I just don't know what to do!!! I want to accept the "different person" I am today - introverted! But I was such an extrovert & outgoing before I feel like something is wrong with living like this!!!!