Is anyone else out there feeling miserable right now???

I posted on here a week ago. I've been trying to give advice to others on here and trying to do other things like organize my room, but I feel like an internet addict these days, constantly watching different channels on YouTube and going on Google. I feel too addicted to my stupid smartphone. My anxiety and depression have kicked into high gear. I had hoped by now this crazy pandemic would be under control and apparently it might not be until possibly next year????? I feel like I'm getting really paranoid and I dont want to pay a visit to a psychiatric ward. I've been wanting to apply for jobs, I don't know now if it's that wise to do so now. I'm stuck in this limbo. I feel like I'm on a ship that's being rocked about on treacherous waters. I am living with my parents who are in their late 70s- if I get this coronavirus I could pass it to them and they are more at risk than I am. Over the past couple days, I feel like I'm having silent panic attacks. I'm trying to stay strong but sometimes I feel ready to explode when either one of my parents starts to bother me. I'm trying to be an adult, I know this is hard on everyone in our household. I just feel very alone too in some ways. It's like I feel like screaming or crying but I suck it up and try not to lose it. I don't know how to cope anymore.

[mimii]

Yes me too can't get any motivation to do anything I've tried going for walks and made the effort to meet a friend which was nice but then I'm stuck back at home again feeling down I also live with someone who is high risk so can understand your worries , sorry this is no help just letting you know you're not alone x

[Hidden in reply to mimii]

Thank you.

[Bear72]

I think you would find it difficult to find anyone on this site that is not feeling like that. Not only did I find my stress levels going up but everyone around me. People that have never been though depression or anxiety are going through it now. I was taking theirs on in addition to my own.

[Hidden in reply to Bear72]

Yeah, I hear you. I just yelled at my dad and I really don't care if he thinks I'm disrespectful. He can be very selfish and act like because I'm a woman that I'm supposed to do all his housework for him and kiss his ass. I'm tired of trying to keep it all inside.

[lorianxiety in reply to Hidden]

hi there,I live alone and im in my early seventies ,reasonably fit apart from severe anxiety and stress ,which have almost crucified my common sense.I can understand your sheer frustration when no one in your household understands how you are feeling,you must vent your feelings on H.U. otherwise you will crack up and I was near to that happening 2 yrs before lockdown;slowly I'm picking up some thread of normality,but have to be firm with my family who are disrespectful of my feelings ,and are more of a nuisance than anything else.

[Hidden in reply to lorianxiety]

Hi, thank you for responding. I'm actually 49. About 7 months ago I totally split apart from a man I was with for 20 years, I could clearly see I didn't want a future with him. That's why I'm now with my parents which isn't a good situation either, but otherwise I'd be homeless. I don't mean to come off like I'm not grateful for them, I really am. I know it's my mom who cares about me and it's really because of her that I'm not in a worse situation, if she were dead my dad would not hesitate to kick me out. I've got to get my life together and get a real career going, or I'll just become I don't know what!!!! I wish my dad and I did get along better, but he's not going to change and I'm so tired and done with trying to please someone who nothing I do is good enough. That's what's been going on, this pandemic just magnifies the issues that were already there.

[spiral25]

It's hard enough to live with our parents as adults without adding in this pandemic. Reading your post is almost identical to what I'm going thru. Except instead of living with my father, my siblings & I are taking turns staying with him while he recuperates.

The other night, I just let the tears come. Maybe you should do the same? Find a safe spot, I went to my car) and just let it out. I think of it like a tea pot. The steam has to be let out.

[Hidden in reply to spiral25]

Thank you. Being able to vent on here is really helping me. Right now it's like the world has come to a halt.

[spiral25 in reply to Hidden]

It does feel like that. Plus, every day decisions have taken on a new context. Like looking for a job/going to the grocery store, etc., and that adds anxiety onto what is already there.

[Hidden in reply to spiral25]

I just don't know whether to apply for some jobs or if I get hired, will my parents be upset or mad about that??? I want to work, being around them all the time is hard. However I do get it that they don't want me to bring the virus here. So I just lie around and do nothing. Of course, then my dad will lay into me how lazy I must be. I mean- I'm in some kind of no win situation here. In the end I think it's wise I don't apply anywhere unless this coronavirus spike starts to go down. But I'm so sick of my dad. And my mom too is acting really strange sometimes. I know she misses going to this senior center and playing cards there- that place is still shut down. She made this dinner yesterday where she made this weird recipe for a salad that had mayonnaise in it. I should NOT have eaten it. Both of my parents are bored out of their minds too. My dad is just creepy. I've got to figure out some way to be able to get an apartment. How can I really try to do anything unless this pandemic gets under control and someone develops a vaccine for it?

[spiral25 in reply to Hidden]

It does feel that right now everything is on hold until we get drugs or a vaccine. I hope you're able to find some respite from your Dad. Are you able to play cards with your Mom? It would give you both something to do and maybe your Dad would lay off while you're occupying your Mom's attention. Good luck!

[WreckItMeg25]

You are not alone. My depression and anxiety has been through the roof these last months. My medications have barely been helping when they always do. Sometimes you do have to cry/ scream. Let it out. Talk to someone soon as the weight starts to build. Talk a hot shower. Go for a run. Anything to let it out.

But you are definitely not alone. We are all trying to survive this mentally and physically. Hang in there <3

[Hidden]

Thank you. I really appreciate this website and all of the people on here. I'll take support any way I can get it. You take care too!

[amcfemale]

I’m absolutely miserable. My body wants to do something but my mind is screaming “no, don’t get up or do anything because you are a lazy piece of shit”.... it drives me absolutely insane.

[Hidden in reply to amcfemale]

You're in good company on here!!!

[Hidden]

I’ve been feeling miserable since tuesday since a breakup but i’m handling it pretty well which i’m so happy about because I never thought i’d feel okay after it. Guess you never really know how strong you are til something happens. I’ve been feeling like a social media addict lately! It helps doing other things to keep me busy though. I’m trying to spend less time on my phone and just focus on what’s in front of me. I haven’t applied for any jobs since the pandemic, I’m pretty worried about catching the virus because I know once i’m positive i’m gonna make myself feel worse than i should! Please know you’re not alone, you have us to reach out too ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh that's so sweet. Good luck to you!!! I did have a better day today where I got outside and walked to some stores and did some laundry. Got that nervous energy to get me moving!!!☺

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That’s awesome! The beginning of the day went well but I have had a difficult time as the day went on. Tried getting out with my friend and had horrible anxiety.

[Sunflowerxxxxxx]

You should definately apply for jobs and get into work, otherwise life is just passing you by, you need to make a life for yourself and be independant, plus beginning to work will give you a purpose will get you mixing with other people and raise your self esteem, you cant put off because of this or that there will always be reasons not do something and life as i said will pass you by, feeling as you are is made worse by all the time on your hands, apply for those jobs get working and make yourself a success🙂