An Update

[tashalyn]

So it’s been almost 6 days that I started the antipsychotic and I have to hand it to my doctor it has actually lessened the crazy derealization and depersonalization thoughts a lot. I can’t believe I was almost convinced that life isn’t real or that there is no existence other than mine.

I still have some thoughts but they don’t have that powerful impact on me anymore - so far and hopefully it will just keep getting better-

However what I do feel now is an emptiness and a numbness that is so profound and a terror and shame at how I let those thoughts drive me so insane

I mean how can I adjust from “I think life is not real I want to die to know if it is” to “family lunch and let’s discuss someone’s baby shower arrangements”.

Am not a big fan of self pity

But that’s exactly what am also feeling towards my mentally unstable self

[Rox123]

I’m on an antipsychotic and experienced these thoughts too. I still have them from time to time but I have to say, I don’t know where I’d be right now without olanzapine x

[tashalyn in reply to Rox123]

Am on olanzapine too, how long have you been on it

[Rox123 in reply to tashalyn]

Since November. It does make me really hungry all the time x

[tashalyn in reply to Rox123]

It’s driving me crazy with hunger, but that’s a small price to pay for sanity I guess, did you feel the benefit of the medicine more and more as time and weeks passed?

[Rox123 in reply to tashalyn]

It’s been about the same since day one. But I’m about to reduce to 7.5mg a day.

[tashalyn in reply to Rox123]

May I ask what was your diagnosis and why were you put on it?

[Rox123]

Severe depression and anxiety with suicidal thoughts and derealisation and depersonalisation. Sertraline on its own wasn’t enough. X

[tashalyn in reply to Rox123]

Am on Prozac, Clonezepam, Amitriptyline and now olanzapine ..it started 8 years ago when I was around 21 as depression and anxiety, four years later a relapse happened and suicidal thoughts with OCD and DP/DR were there so hence the additional medicine, but I was resistant to be on an antipsychotic, this last month was hell I could tell my thought process is becoming dysfunctional, I was intact with reality but still the thought process was getting pathological am glad I listened to my psychiatrist

[Rox123 in reply to tashalyn]

I also have OCD, mine takes the form of harm thoughts. I was also resistant to antipsychotic medicine. I’m struggling with the numbness too. I can’t really feel anything. I’ve had depression for 11 years, since I was 18. I had a traumatic experience in September that sparked everything again and made me spiral big time. You aren’t alone. X

[tashalyn in reply to Rox123]

Thank you for sharing this it really helped

[Rox123]

That’s ok. Message me anytime if you want a chat x