So it’s been almost 6 days that I started the antipsychotic and I have to hand it to my doctor it has actually lessened the crazy derealization and depersonalization thoughts a lot. I can’t believe I was almost convinced that life isn’t real or that there is no existence other than mine.
I still have some thoughts but they don’t have that powerful impact on me anymore - so far and hopefully it will just keep getting better-
However what I do feel now is an emptiness and a numbness that is so profound and a terror and shame at how I let those thoughts drive me so insane
I mean how can I adjust from “I think life is not real I want to die to know if it is” to “family lunch and let’s discuss someone’s baby shower arrangements”.
Am not a big fan of self pity
But that’s exactly what am also feeling towards my mentally unstable self