Something positive or negative?

[vanessi]

Hello everybody i would like to share something that i don't know if it is good or bad. Since i started this journey (my depression) almost 2 months ago i never wanted to be at home i tried to be everywhere except here, I have always been homelike but since the breakup my house made me feel sad and insecure.

Now i am kind of "relaxed" at home, well it seems i enjoy being in bed more than doing something else or being in the other rooms, even though i am more at home now i still feel sad but i can feel my home as a refuge.

At least i can be calm down one friday night. Do you think that is a positive or negative thing from your point of view ?

[Anais_89]

It's good but not if it's all the time.

I am also that type of person who's always trying to get into anything just to avoid being home over thinking everything and getting all sad and depressed but even that gets you tired and could make things worse

so I have my days that I rather just be home alone no one to bother me or me bother them but......I have times where I stay home 2 weeks straight and I don't want to cook or do laundry or clean I don't even brush my hair and that's a sign that it's too bad so in honestly as long as it's a healthy stay at home and ur not over thinking ur ok

[vanessi in reply to Anais_89]

Well to be honest with you i think i like being here so i can't bother anyone with my issues, if i wanna cry i cry. And i am always over thinking no matter where i am. I've never been as depressed as i am now and it is a really bad coming. At least i feel calm

[HearYou]

Vanessi, think you answered your own question. It's early in your depression recovery. Whatever works for you. xx

[vanessi in reply to HearYou]

But I don't feel something is really working. I feel very depressed every single day. Nothing makes me happy

[HearYou]

I know Vanessa, I know. Let's try for just being depressed, keep busy and fill up your day. Maybe you need to let "happy" wait awhile. I sound like a broken record, but it takes time to heal. And you're still grieving.

But it is really up to you to fill up time while you heal...You are working, which is great. That's productive and helps financially.

Try to find things to do for even 15 minutes at a time.

I'll share that almost every morning when I wake (provided insomnia didn't hit) I think, ok...and my depression hits, but I know if I can fill up the time, I eventually shake off some of the depression. I feed the cat, I do laundry, I keep books in every room to read.

I know I will probably have 14 more months of this deep depression as it appears to be a side effect of a medication I need to hopefully arrest a physical challenge. But I need to take it for another 14 months before the doctors know if it worked. So I know eventually there will be an end to it. Nothing I can do about it, but to accept it and get on with my 15-30 minute activities. My husband knows this and I try not to expect him to do anything about it.

You are healing if you give yourself time and hopefully, your depression will become less and less too. Start looking around for things to do even though depression is riding shotgun. Life is what is happening right now while you are worried about your depression.

I don't want you to be missing out on your life; fill it up so depression doesn't have so much room. Play music and dance as though no one can see. You are wanting to be happy; I'm selfish; I'm shooting for some joy before 14 months. Always here for you.xxxx

[vanessi in reply to HearYou]

I only feel that all my days are being wasted for the depression but I can't do too much really

[HearYou in reply to vanessi]

Yeah, sometimes I feel that way. That's life. Your choice to ride this out any way you can. So fill it up with doing things even if you are sad. Time is on your side. You're young, and the reason for your sadness will eventually go away because you will eventually move on. Promise.xx