Obsessive thoughts..... feeling terrible

[MegC662]

New here..... needing to know I’m not crazy..... cuz I sure do feel crazy. And like a bad person, especially bad mom. Dealing with extremely intrusive thoughts and obsessing about them..... terrible anxiety..... Anyone out there with some good advise? Or similar story?

[djpeeling]

I have a problem with intrusive thoughts an overthinking, especially lately. I just try to keep myself busy, distracted in positive ways. Writing down the negative thoughts and burning them helps sometimes. Talking to someone helps if you can find someone understanding.

[MegC662 in reply to djpeeling]

I’m so busy, that I’m tired. I want to just be able to relax like a normal person and not feel like I’m going crazy and think the things I do.

I read your story.... my husband was almost ready to check out on me this summer.... it’s really a terrible feeling when someone you would never do that to, can just walk away. I will keep you and your kiddos in my prayers. Please reach out to me if you need to talk. Hoping I can do the same.... 😊

[djpeeling in reply to MegC662]

Thank you! And same goes for you, I’m here! I’m not coping too well I know what you mean by just wanting to be able to relax. I have a hard time being alone with myself

[MegC662 in reply to djpeeling]

I feel the same way. I hate alone time.

[mer_bear]

Lately my anxiety has been giving me the same feelings. Seems like I just CAN'T shut off my brain or thoughts, no matter how hard I try!! Its quite obnoxious, especially when I see my husband who doesn't seem to have a worry in the world, or he is at least better at managing it. My father gave me some good advice, when he feels himself get anxious, what he does is try to "box" away that feeling and push it aside until there is a time and place that he can deal with it. Now, of course, I can't do that but I am working on it. My doctor has helped me through a lot and together we have found the perfect combination of medication and therapy to get me to a spot where I can just feel normal MOST of the time. My anxiety will ALWAYS be there, and only recently have I learned to accept that and battle it!

I want to win this battle, for everyone around me, but mostly for myself...Seems i have gone on a rant but just know that you ARE a good mother and a good person. WE are the worst judges of ourselves and those of us with these debilitating conditions seem to be much harder on ourselves then we need to be. Try to sit back and just remember that no matter how bad your day may be, someone is there feeling the same way. Reach out, we are here for you. I am new to this as well but I know that talking to people is one way to squash the fear that comes with these thoughts and feelings.

Take care and good luck!!!

-Mer

[MegC662 in reply to mer_bear]

Thank you so much. I’m on a med also, but I’m not sure it’s even doing anything except helping me sleep. I had a legit nervous breakdown this summer and am slowly trying to climb out and just forget all of it. But forgetting, has never been something I’m good at. I almost don’t feel real sometimes. Ever feel like that? I was on a forum last time my anxiety’s was super high, so I thought I’d try again to see if talking to people who understand will help. I appreciate your response, and advise. I feel like I’m just gonna lose it and there is no winning in the future. All I see is a constant battle for the rest of my life. I want to be better. My kids deserve to have me the way I used to be. Not o sessions g with terrible things in my head.

[mer_bear in reply to MegC662]

Yes I totally get that feeling! It’s crazy to think there are actually other people out there going through the same things when all it feels like is your alone in this. I found that getting into a hobby helps a lot, staying busy. I enjoy my alone time during Yoga when I can just relax my mind... it might sound crazy but I also take some time to just yell out all the things that drive me crazy or I’m scared of and after I hear it out loud it seems to take away it’s power, I don’t feel as angry or scared anymore.

I know I will always be like this, I am starting to learn to take the good days and cherish them and know when my bad days come that I have to help myself remember that it can be ok again 🌼

[Aspergian29]

Hey MegC662....You have described what ive been going through exactly...Do u know if its Ocd that causes the obsessive intrusive thoughts? It feels like a hell...especially when everyone around u wants to leave u and tells u that being around u is unbearable for them...Like u my anxiety is really high ...Can I ask if any meds have helped? I only take a small amount of Valium before bedtime to help me sleep...I feel for u as I have a son and I know what u mean when u say u want to be the way u used to be..i never bothered about much before now its everything...my son has Aspergers and I feel I'm making him worse...Hugs x

[MegC662 in reply to Aspergian29]

From what I have learned lately, it is OCD. Just minus the compulsions. I have always obsessed about things I thought were wrong with me, and that was my anxiety. It’s never been about these thoughts so this is all new to me and I hate it. I’ve read a few things that do put me at ease at least for a little bit. Your thoughts are cause by the anxiety, NOT the other way around. So if we could just figure out how to stop the anxiety thinking, we could figure out how to stop the terrible things we think.

Meds do not help me at all when it comes to the thoughts. They help me go to sleep and I no longer feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin, so that’s a plus i guess. You need to find some new friends..... I’ll be one for you. I would never tell someone they are unbearable to be around. That is so mean. I have someone in my life that just does not understand anxiety.... so it’s impossible for me to even talk to him about the normal anxiety, let alone the things I think about. I live my boys so much and just want to get back to me. Let’s help each other. I’ve been told to write the thoughts down, but I can’t even bring myself to put it on paper. It scares me. How about you?? You feel afraid of yourself? Or is that just me??

[Anxiousjy in reply to MegC662]

They call it Pure O, you have compulsions to but mentally.

[Anxiousjy]

Hi! Mom here too and experienced that before. But it’ll get better.

[MegC662 in reply to Anxiousjy]

When?

[Anxiousjy in reply to MegC662]

6 years ago and my 2nd attack was last april and it lasted for 9 months.

[Anxiousjy in reply to Anxiousjy]

Please follow my replies on other posts as they experience the same too. Know that you are not alone.

[ThyroidJ]

Yes it’s very hard especially if they are negative and worrisome, which makes you feel worse. My therapists told me to tell the negative thoughts thank you for your opinion or I’d tell them off

[MegC662 in reply to ThyroidJ]

I like that! 😊

[ThyroidJ in reply to MegC662]

Thank you, Im good at visualising so I imagine myself big and powerful and I tell the thoughts off and to stop it

[ThyroidJ]

Your not alone I completely understand - totally

[Florida1959]

I think it’s a side effect of this type of illness, I overthink all the time, then I get sassy and say universe don’t let me down, keep strong Meg, you will get through, I find walking takes my mind of stuff, fir a while x

[1800girl]

I’m a mom too who gets scared all the time

[Mell83]

I completely understand. Almost a year ago I felt like i was having a nervous breakdown with uncontrollable anxiety. I started meds (zoloft) which has really helped my worries. Some ofy best help has been just talking to other people, knowing I'm not alone with my anxiety. If you put it out there, you will realize it's so much more common than you think! You are not alone, and you got this!

[Want2BHappy3]

Your definatly Not Alone. Remember raising kids is the hardest Job on the planet.

My anxiety is so bad I had to quit my job and retire early in A LOT of debt. Had to file for bankruptcy. I go days without eating. One of my kids is learning disabled that I have enabled out of Guilt. I find myself taking responsible for her mistakes. My youngest is Very angry with me for this. My oldest daughter has let me and her husband and in laws what a terrible mom I was??? I don't feel I was, I was invouved with her. I think she was jealous of me remarrying and having 2 more children. She sometimes tells me how she missed when it was just her and I? Do you mind How old are your kids? Mine are grown, they both treat me like crap n won't help around the house. And I pay All the bills. I want to get away from Both of them. I feel trapped.

One more thing I found out, is that becarful your anxiety can be passed onto your kids. Good Luck

[MegC662 in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that from your kiddos. I try very hard to not pass this on to my boys. The older they get, they harder it is to hide tho. They are 9 and 11..... and I just love them.