I'm worrying myself over something that I shouldn't.
I can barely stand being at home for 4 days. I understand that it'll be summer, but even in summer I don't leave my house much.
I'm kinda thinking about different things that could fill up my summer, like spending time with my boyfriend and maybe 2 of my friends. So If I give those events a generous amount of days I still have atleast 4 weeks of nothing to do.
Last summer was absolutely HORRIBLE! I had almost nothing to do but watch TV and sleep. I set my personal record of sleeping for 15 hours (it wasn't completely straight, because I had fallen sleep on the couch and had woken up and crawled in bed, but that took about 2 minutes or less). I also set a personal record of drink 9 cups of coffee almost consecutively in less than a 12 hour time span.
Last summer my mom had fractured one of her vertebrae in a car accident in March. And so we was still dealing with that, which I understand, but like we didn't do almost anything. We could have done non-extreme things in side, like various types of games or watch a bunch of movies together, But we didn't. She spent most of her time in bed and I spent most of my time on the couch. Towards the end she was doing a lot better, but we still didn't do anything.
Btw, I don't have a driver's license or permit, and no motivation to get one. Plus we live out in the country and it takes 25-40 minutes to get to town.
Last summer I had very few things that gave me the desire to keep living, one of them was Parks and Recreation (the best show ever). I'd stay up till 4 or 5 am just watching movies and TV shows alone and it was pretty good. I felt alone, not the you're not technically alone but you're basically alone thing, It felt good. I could say whatever I wanted (in a low to moderate volume) and I could say things to the TV (like when a character does something stupid). Then the day would roll around (I woke up at 12-2 pm) and I felt so alone but I wasn't actually alone. It sucked.
Now I can't stop worrying about this summer. If it's as bad or worse as last summer, I have no idea what I might do. I just can't stop worrying.