Hi everybody i hope you are having a good day. Just to update that i got the job, it is just 10 hours at week, teaching english in a school and i will probably look for more hours in another place. Well that's the good thing.
The bad one is i can't stop feeling really sad in the mornings, i guess it is one of toughest parts of my day. Before i met my ex i felt like that every day, like really down, hopeless and didn't want to go to work cos my mood was not good. When he appeared everything changed and i started feeling more motivated, he made me feel way better than now and helped me to recover from my last depression. Now that he is gone i feel the same every morning, and obvs cos i am not moving to Ireland anymore as he and i planned to be together. Any advice to stop feeling in that way? cos honestly i want to cry so much when it is so early and need to leave my home. At least i am not starting my work very early in the mornings so i can calm down here at home before going to work.
best wishes xx
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vanessi
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I want to congratulate you on your new job, I am rooting for you and it can be really hard to focus when one feels so sad. Sometimes I make myself listen to a podcast (I prefer topics about anxiety/depression/stress) while I wake up in the mornings and get ready. My belief is that one has to learn to fill the void with oneself, it may sound cheesy but you are the answer. I believe in you and I hope tomorrow morning will be better.
Hi. One thing I have come to learn is that it is OK to be sad, depressed, when it is appropriate. You had a relationship end. That sucks...for anyone, and even more for us with depression and anxiety issues. I recently had a long term relationship end too. It sucks. I cry. I hurt. I mourn. That is the normal human reaction to that situation. We don't get to be happy all the time. I get the usual advice of "it will get better", "give it time", "take some time for you", etc. Bottom line is it hurts. It means you have the capacity and heart to love, and that is good. I believe that people like us can live like no others, but we hurt like no others too. You love hard, and sometime you hurt hard. It's OK to cry, to hurt. You don't have to "get over it". I've had people tell me they can't be part of my world right now because I am too depressing to be around. Sorry, but that's me right now. If you want to bail during the hard times, don't expect me to be there in the good times. I like this virtual group but I wish there was a physical group I could go to and just talk to other people in the same situation as me. If I was taking to you face to face, I would give you a big hug and let you cry on my shoulder without judging. That's healing. We don't need advice, we need to know that there are people out there who care and who understand.
Thank you for your words, i have been around people who judges me all the time cos my ex, they give me opinions that hurt, they say i am a dependent woman cos i feel i can't live without him and the truth for me it is totally opposite. He was my partner and we shared beautiful moments that hurt right now cos they were very very beautiful and i wish i had them back, he was a complement in my life and like when someone die is a big loss this for me is another too.
They have told me everything and i feel bad sometimes cos they don't understand how i feel, every person is different and feels different, i am the one who give love without mesure and he was too.
I have always thought i am never gonna get ove it but i might learn to live with his absence, then some people say i am gonna meet someone else and so on, and i might meet another man but i might never love him as i did with him. No matter what happens i will still love him if one day our paths cross again i will be happy to have our love.
I blocked him from everything and it is not cos i am mad at him or i hate him, it was cos it was hurting me when he said we couldn't be together, when i saw pics of our friends with him, when it was christmas, etc. So i need time to heal my wounds.
Mornings are a nightmare for me, when i felt so anxious and sad he was with me hugging me 'till i fell asleep, looking after me. He is the most amazing man i had in my life and i am so broken cos he is gone. Now i have no one to talk, he was my best friend and i could tell him everything without being shy or ashamed. It makes me happy i can find someone here that understand me.
People here has been very helpful too but i don't know if they get my point and my feelings.
Hiya, yes, in answer to your last point, you express yourself very articulately and clearly convey the point you are making. Of course, no-one can say they fully understand what you are experiencing, because we are all unique individuals, but your 'story', if I may call it that, resonates and sounds very similar to that of a close family member of mine (also a teacher), so I do fully empathise with what you are going through. This time last year, the family member I am referring to was in the depths of despair because of a relationship breakdown. Now, however, she is in a far better place, stronger, wiser, more mature and with, I think, a clearer perspective on life. Of course, she still has strong feelings for her former partner and I think she always will, and still coming to terms with how this has turned her life upside down, but there is no point looking back with regret. The future is not here, you only have the present and, clearly, you are a very gifted person, so be kind to yourself, keep busy and interested in all things and all people, and happiness will find you. Take care,
The problem is I don't enjoy doing anything. All my interests are gone. And I can't get over this no matter how much I try. It is my mind which plays tricks to me and my heart too I wish I could be someone else. I just can't, I can't
Of course you don't. That's depression. The very clinical definition of it. Loss of interest or joy in things that used to make you happy. So, first of all, just let that sink in. This is depression, not YOU. This is the disease. We are all told a bunch of different "cures". Some work, some don't, and they are never exactly the same for 2 different people. I have felt exactly the same way. What bright me out of it was doing something completely unselfish to help someone else. I found that by making someone else's day, it made me feel good, no matter how much I didn't want to. You could try it, If it doesn't work, at least you left a piece of positive karma out there. It made me realize I have worth, even when I felt completely worthless.
I get your point..your lucky you have experience such love..your also lucky this is over..it was not meant to go any further..you will meet someone else who is meant to be..I had plenty lovers..I suffered like you with all of them..mind you, it is you the reason you feel like this..but now eventually I found the love of my life..I never asked for a long distant love..but ive been in one for five years..we message everyday, I cant physically hug, kiss, touch, or be next to my lover due to the distance .. Australia/Europe..but I can tell you the love I thought I had previously is nothing like the love I have now..Im glad I left my previous partners or else I would not be with my lover of.my.life.no matter the circumstance now..love will come when you least expect it..and love will always find its way... don't worry for nothing...focus on your job and the rest will follow..I understand your pain but time will heal..its ok trust me..
Well my ex and I were having a long distant relationship too, I was actually gonna move to Ireland in February but not anymore. I also think my ex is the love of my life and I wish I could have him back. I am really sad for what happened and today I woke up feeling really down cos I miss him. It is not that simple to lose someone you love. You mentioned I will heal and I am lucky is over and I don't believe so I had ex partners too and I never felt as I felt with my ex.
Just think if it were you breaking up with your love. Would it be easy to move on? Knowing that you can't see nor touch the person? Having different time zone? Would you think you are lucky cos it is over? Would you be willing to meet other people?
Well I am pretty sure you can feel how I feel answering those questions
Hi, i'm going through a breakup right now, i know how you feel even though we don't share the same story but it's hard, it hurts, it's kind of suffocating.. you feel lost and you feel like you have no purpose in life anymore..
i don't know exactly what happened but i do know that you (and me), we need to make a plan, have a goal, start a new thing.. when you wake up in the morning feeling so bad like there is a rock on your chest, don't let it win, say to yourself that you can make it, make a "to do" list, don't let those bad thoughts get you because you are a strong person, we all are, we just still figuring out
no one pass through this life without loosing something really important, without feeling bad, hurt and down.. it's soooo hard, be there for yourself and keep saying positive things and there is amazing people here, you are not alone..
for now just try to make little goals, easy things, if u can go to the gym, sport can help, if you don't wanna go out, watch something that can take you to another world and try to keep it positive..
we all need a break some times so give yourself a time to heal and take it easy
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